The Hollow Beneath Hogwarts

56. You Found Me

"This is crazy!" Hermione said as she emptied the alcohol into one bottle that she had put an Extendable Charm on.

The bottle should have been full ten minutes ago. Instead, it kept swallowing alcohol as though it were bottomless.

Vodka. Rum. Firewhiskey. More vodka. Some horrible green liquid that nobody could identify.

Hermione tipped another bottle upside down and watched the contents disappear into the enchanted container.

"Honestly, this is absolutely insane."

"You've mentioned that," Draco said.

"Because it is insane." She held up another bottle. "Who needs this much alcohol?"

Nobody answered. Mostly because nobody wanted to. The answer was sitting heavily in all their minds.

Ron.

Sloane emptied another bottle and tried not to think about it. "I know, but he will go mental if he thinks we were in his room. It's an invasion of privacy."

Hermione groaned. "I still can't believe we're doing this."

"What would you rather do?" Sloane asked. "Leave it there?"

Hermione immediately shook her head. "No."

"Exactly."

Hermione sighed. She hated admitting when she was wrong and Sloane was right. Unfortunately, this was one of those times.

Around them, the room looked like the aftermath of a police raid. Bottles covered every available surface. The trunk sat open in the middle of the floor. Several crates had been pulled from underneath Ron's bed.

Harry still couldn't quite believe it.

Every time he thought they had found the last bottle, another three appeared.

At one point Kreacher, who Harry had called for reinforcement, had opened a drawer and found six hidden behind a stack of old Quidditch magazines.

Nobody had spoken for almost a minute after that.

"Honestly," Ginny muttered, staring at the growing collection. "I thought Fred and George had alcohol problems when they were first opening their store."

"They did," Harry replied.

"Not like this." She sighed. 

"No."

Not like this. Not even close.

Kreacher was surprisingly enthusiastic about the entire operation. The old elf carried another armful of bottles across the room. "Master Ronald hides alcohol very badly."

Harry blinked. "How did you find all of those?"

"Kreacher is a house-elf." That apparently explained everything. The elf nodded wisely. "Humans are terrible at hiding things."

Draco snorted. "That's actually fair."

"Kreacher once found Master's father's Christmas present six months before Christmas."

"Traitor," Harry muttered.

"Kreacher was looking for dust."

"Of course you were."

Meanwhile, Draco was carefully refilling bottles with Elf wine. The liquid looked almost identical. Same colour. Same consistency. Same smell.

The difference was that it couldn't get anyone drunk.

House-elves drank it recreationally.

Humans usually drank it accidentally and then spent hours wondering why nothing was happening.