Trust and Anxieties (A Soukoku Fanfic)

What is this feeling...?

For the first few months since the newfound couple let their relationship be revealed to their respective agencies, the ADA and Port Mafia were abuzz over the two. 

For Dazai, it wasn't really a big deal since he was usually the one causing mischief for everyone, but for Chuuya on the other hand, it was slowly starting to become stressful and uncomfortable for him. He was constantly being asked, heard gossiping or unnecessary comments among and from many and most of the Port Mafia's agents,

"You and Dazai?! Together?? How is that even possible??"

"I didn't think you were one to be in a relationship, Sir"

or

"Can you believe it?? One of our top executives Nakahara Chuuya is in a relationship with not only an enemy but a traitor?!"

Chuuya had lost count of how many times he'd heard the same comments. It was really starting to piss him off!

"I know right? Like, Mr. Dazai left the Port Mafia meaning he also left Mr. Nakahara behind. Who's to say he won't do it again?"

That was a new one.

Chuuya's heart was practically yelling at him to ignore the two ignorant agents who even had the guts to dare talk like they knew everything! But, his mind. 

His mind persuaded him to eavesdrop.

"Exactly! I think Mr. Nakahara is making a HUGE mistake! I bet you Mr. Dazai is going to leave him like before! Mr. Nakahara should break up with him before his heart is broken."

Okay, now that was going too far!

"Hey! You two~".

At the sound of Chuuya's voice calling out to them, tone on the verge of menacing, both froze stiff. Slowly, they turned around looking absolutely pale, almost as if they were going to faint. 

"If you wanted to say something, you could have just said it to my face!" 

Both let out a pathetic whimper of fear, immediately bowing their heads in apology. "We are very sorry for discussing your private life, Sir!"

Chuuya glared, "Oh really?", he began to walk towards the two, his head hung low, "Well if you are really sorry then," clenching his fist, he raised his head, "then how about you take PUNISHMENT!" At the word "punishment" he punched one square in the face then proceeded to roundhouse kick the other in the stomach. Standing over them, he continued, looking down on them with a look that said, 'You've just pissed off the wrong person!'

"Next time, think before you spout a bunch of rude nonsense! Understand~?"

Seeing them nod their heads repeatedly out of guilt and utter fear, Chuuya let out a sigh, signaling that he was letting them go. Immediately, they up and left running like a dog with its tail between its legs.

And he just stood there.

"Like, Mr. Dazai left the Port Mafia meaning he also left Mr. Nakahara behind. Who's to say he won't do it again?"

The agent, whom he had punched in the face's words were echoing in his mind. Dazai would never leave him again! He said so himself! So why was he thinking about what the stupid agent said?? He doesn't know. Chuuya shook his head hard. He thought it better not to ponder on it for too long and continued on his way. Wait. Where was he going again? Oh right! He planned to head home since he had just completed a mission. Home. Home to...

He smiled. Home to that shitty, bandaged, suicidal maniac.

~Time Skip~

Chuuya was about 10-15 minutes away from his house when he saw Dazai through the window of a bar. It was the same bar he'd blabber on and on about it being his, Odasaku, and Ango's constant drink and hang-out place. Bar Lupin. Chuuya knew that those precious moments were now gone due to Odasaku's death (Dazai had thoroughly explained why he left, starting with his promise to Odasaku) and Ango's betrayal. Chuuya would have left Dazai be as he figured he probably wanted to be alone, but something had caught his attention. 

He wasn't alone. 

There was someone else with him. 

A woman.

Now, Chuuya knew Dazai was going to keep flirting with women, as Dazai had asked him if he was okay with it since it had become a habit for him. Chuuya accepted on the condition that Dazai swore not to explicitly cheat on him, which, of course, Dazai had sincerely assured him of. So it wasn't exactly that a woman being there with Dazai was what was keeping him grounded, it was what that damned agent had said earlier resurfacing in his mind.

"Like, Mr. Dazai left the Port Mafia meaning he also left Mr. Nakahara behind. Who's to say he won't do it again?"

Why?!

Why does he keep thinking about what the dumbass said??

Why is it bothering him so much??

Dazai would NEVER EVER leave him again! Why can't his brain just accept that?!

"Chuuya?"

"AH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Dazai held his hands up in defense, "Woah! Take it easy there, babe! I didn't mean to scare you".

"Jeez, you gave me a heart attack!" Damn, this man and his ability to sneak up on people undetected. 

"If I did, I'd think you'd be dead by now~", he mused. 

"Cut the crap, you ass!"

A cheeky smile, "By the way, what are you doing out here anyway?"

"Huh? I was just heading home". 

"Oh? Then, why are you standing here frozen like a deer caught in headlights?"

Oh. 

He saw him staring at them, didn't he? No wait, he didn't. He was asking him 'why he was standing there' not "What were you doing standing here staring at us?"

"N-None of your business!"

Yeesh, so quick to avoid and retaliate! "Woah, hey, I was just asking. No need to get so defensive, chibi".

"Whatever. Anyway, you gonna come home or what?"

"I will, just as soon as I finish my conversation with a new guest at the bar, okay?". Dazai replied flashing another cheeky wink and smile.

"You don't have to rush, I'll be happy not being annoyed by you and finally having some time to myself!"

Though Chuuya's words carried annoyance, deep down he was a little disappointed, he was hoping Dazai would decide to come home with him. Even though the suicidal waste of bandages probed and pushed his nerves all the time, that was their way of spending time with each other. Both grew up without parents in a cruel world, so they didn't exactly know how to show a lot of "romantic love" for one another. But that didn't mean they didn't try. Chuuya did most of the cooking (he's slowly teaching Dazai), they worked out and went on a few missions together, had cuddle sessions and a few light kisses and pecks here and there (sometimes led to make-out but never intercourse, yet), etc.

It was perfect! Up until today.

"Uh-huh, sure. Guess I'll see you at home, then!" Dazai waved. Chuuya watched as he walked back and into the bar, continuing to talk with the woman. Chuuya observed her for a bit. 

She was quite beautiful.

Young, about 20, short red curled locks, at this point, Chuuya guessed that Dazai really had a thing for redheads, dressed in a tight, bright, glittery red cowl-neck dress and black sparkly heels, whiskey in hand.

Chuuya watched for a bit longer until his chest felt tight. He should probably leave...

Like, right now.

And leave he did. Continuing on in the direction of his house, his boyfriend and mysterious new company's silhouettes, out of sight and left behind to their private chatter.