Other half -The fallout

Guilty

Vada pov.

"Goodnight Amelia!"
I yelled from beyond the dark hallway. I waited for about another 5 seconds before I heard a drowsy "goodnight" reply.
I closed my door and began to smile as I was finally about to call Mia. I had to admit, I really thought she was mad at me. I grabbed my laptop and opened it up to see Mia's contact already there for me to call. I wasted no time and I clicked the call button.
The call rang out for a few seconds before she finally answered.
"Hey," she said soothingly.
My face melted as her simple words put me at ease.
"Hey," I continued, "How are you?"
She hesitated for a moment as if her next words weren't the truth.
"I'm... I'm okay."
I scrunched my eyebrows in almost a playfully serious way when I started my reply,
"I can tell you're not just okay, what's going on?"
I gave her a slight smile through the camera to reassure her.
"Just a tough day at dance, how are you?"
I could tell she was avoiding telling me something. I wasn't sure what though. But I was gonna find out one way or another.
"I'm good I would be better if I knew what was really going on with you..."
I was trying to play this off playfully just to ease it into her lightly but it wasn't working.
"I don't really wanna talk about it..." she replied shamefully.
I frowned at this I could tell there was something really wrong. I just wanted to make her feel better but she wouldn't let me in. Mia was always like this, she didn't like to open up.
I carefully started my reply,
"Mia I want to help you, will you please tell me what's wrong? I won't judge you or shame you for anything."
"I can't say it."
I felt chills down my spine. What was so bad that she couldn't say it?
"Please?"
He gaze softened and her eyes looked sad as she took a deep breath in. I got comfortable as I assumed she was going to start her story.
"Everyone at Dance admitted to me that the first lesson back, they all thought I was awful and they were too nice to say anything at first. They started to say that my friend Veronica, was way better than me now. They all made fun of me but I went along with it. When I got home, I broke down. I cried and-"
Her story halted for a moment as if she was hesitant to continue.
"What happened Mia?" I said calmly but firmly.
I watched a clear tear roll down her face as she opened her mouth to speak again,
"My mind started to spin. I kept thinking all kinds of terrible awful things that wouldn't go away. I don't know why but, I cut myself."
I could almost feel the color draining from my cheeks. My fingers went numb and my mouth hung open with disbelief. My Mia, felt the need to hurt herself? I was heartbroken to know that maybe if I said I would come back over none of this would have happened.
My thoughts were interrupted by Mia's heart breaking voice,
"Please say something Vada."
I struggled to speak as tears filled my eyes and a tightness in my throat grew.
"I'm so sorry Mia. I'm so sorry that you felt the need to hurt yourself like that. I'm so sorry I wasn't there..."
I began to choke up at the end struggling to continue. She wiped her tears and she began to reply,
"Hey it's okay I'm okay. I don't want to do it again."
Her calm voice reassured me slightly but not enough. I wanted her to know she could come to me when she felt that way. It broke my heart knowing I could have prevented this...
"Will you promise me something?" I asked her.
"Yeah."
"Promise you'll never do that again. And promise me that if you feel like you have to, you'll call or text me. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide that from me okay? I know you're "a woman of very little words" (I mocked my past self) but I care about you so so much."
She gave me a weak smile and she began to reply,
"I promise."
I smiled back and I calmly said,
"I love you."
"I love you too." She replied staring through the screen.
"Can we sleep on call?" She asked with a smile.
"Of course Mia." I smiled.
She nodded and she said goodnight as she rolled over in bed. I said it back and I stayed the same position I was in. While my mind swirled about what happened with Mia.
I really wish I was there for Mia during all of that. I can't help but feel guilty.