The year started great. I was thrilled to be taking classes with my friends from the neighborhood. It felt like everything was falling into place. And then, my father bought me a heavy laptop to help with my studies. Little did I know that this seemingly innocent act would change everything.
As the year progressed, my uncle got married, and I was introduced to his wife, Meryme. She was a lovely woman who had converted to Islam and spoke English most of
the time. I was fascinated by her ability to communicate in a language that was foreign to me.
It was then that I had an epiphany. "Wait! I have a laptop, and I can afford some internet?" I asked myself. I realized that I could use this technology to learn English and interact with native speakers online.
And so, like every boy with or without a computer back in the day, I created a Facebook account and put my finest pictures on there. Day after day, I spent hours learning about the world, and my English improved with every passing day. But it wasn't enough. I craved interaction with native speakers, and I couldn't figure out how to make it happen.
Looking back, I realize that this was the start of it all. The moment when my obsession with technology began to spiral out of control, and I lost sight of what was truly important. But at the time, I had no idea what was in store
for me. All I knew was that I had a laptop, an internet connection, and a burning desire to learn.
The soft hum of the air conditioner filled the room as I sat upright in bed, surrounded by a sea of pillows and blankets. The faint scent of lavender filled my nostrils, emanating from the sachet tucked underneath my pillow. I had been looking forward to this night all week, a chance to get some much-needed rest after a long and grueling semester of classes and exams.
But as I scrolled through my social media feeds, my mind began to race with thoughts of upcoming deadlines, assignments, and exams. I felt a sense of dread creeping up inside of me, threatening to ruin my peaceful evening. I knew I needed to unplug and give my mind a break, but the pull of the internet was too strong.
Clicking from one article to the next, I felt myself becoming more and more absorbed in the virtual world. My eyes began to grow heavy, and my mind started to wander as I mindlessly scrolled through my timeline. Before I knew it, my 30-minute indulgence had turned into an hour, then two.
As the clock struck midnight, I finally forced myself to shut down my laptop and retreat under the covers. The room was now silent, save for the occasional rustle of sheets and the distant sound of a car passing by outside. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing myself to let go of the stress and anxiety that had been building up inside of me.
But try as I might, my mind refused to quiet down. Thoughts of unfinished work, looming deadlines, and the
uncertainty of the future swirled around in my head like a raging storm. I tossed and turned, trying in vain to find a comfortable position, but nothing seemed to ease the restlessness that had taken hold of me.
It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that I finally managed to drift off to sleep, exhausted and drained from the mental exertion of the night. As I sank into a deep slumber, I couldn't help but wonder if this constant state of stress and anxiety was the price I had to pay for chasing my dreams.
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