Playing It By Heart: A J.C. Fanfiction Saga

Chapter Ten: Life Without Her

Five months later

I thought it was over, baby / We said our goodbyes / But I can't go a day without your face / Goin' through my mind

In fact, not a single minute / Passes without you in it / Your voice, your touch, memories of your love / Are with me all of the time

Let me let go, baby / Let me let go / If this is for the best, why are you still in my heart / Are you still in my soul / Let me let go

--"Let me Let Go," Faith Hill

Justin clapped his cell phone shut and wandered through the tour bus to the TV room. He went straight to where J.C. was sitting, absently watching a movie, and sat on him.

"Owwwwww," the older man yelped. "Justin, I'm sorry but I don't love you that way."

"Just checking," Justin said mischievously.

"Who were you talking to?"

Justin hesitated. "The pope. Wanted to wish us luck on the European tour."

J.C. looked at him unwaveringly. "Were you talking to Emma?"

Justin's eyes lowered. "Yeah. I was."

J.C.'s eyes focused back on the television. "And how is she?"

"She's great; totally moved on and happy as ever. Come on, J.C., how do you think she is?"

"I dunno. Just checking, I guess." J.C. closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch.

Justin surveyed his friend and sighed. "Man, you are losing it."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not your girlfriend, J.C. You have no claim over her. Your title is Just Friends. Why can't you move on like you agreed to?"

"Maybe I like being this way," J.C. said, flipping the remote control.

"What, in the worst mood swings I've ever seen you in? You've been brooding for five months. If you aren't gonna make another move, you need to go on -- as sad as I am to say it. This isn't healthy."

J.C. had not spoken to Emma in four months. That night their relationship went from play-it-by-ear friendship to solid companionship to sad resolution. And honesty had thrown their future into more turmoil, complete with a long-delayed kiss. The morning after he'd fallen asleep on the lounge chair on her roof, holding her and watching her sleep, he'd reluctantly flown back to Florida. They'd talked on the phone every day for hours, each conversation emotionally wrenching, until a too-sensible Emma finally said they couldn't move on if they kept this up.

"Maybe it'll be time for us one day," she reasoned. "But now it isn't. We've got two separate lives going on right now and they're not going to blend anytime soon. But we shouldn't hang on like this and mope around until that day comes. We have to move on from each other, and we can't do it when we keep having these phone conversations."

"So what do you suggest?" J.C. asked, crestfallen.

"A break," Emma said slowly. "There's too much emotion flying everywhere. I'm not even eating correctly, I miss you too much."

"I miss you too."

"Oh dear. See, I shouldn't have said that. Now you got me all sappy. Let's not talk for a while, say till Christmas, and then see how we're doing. Please, J.C. This impossible situation is affecting everything around us."

He missed her terribly, of course. But she was right: He also had thousands of fans to please. So J.C. delved back into his career with vigorous energy, smiling, signing and chirping with the rest of the group, showing fresh signs of moving on.