Epilogue: Still Worth It

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Emma woke up in his arms. They were so exhausted from talking and kissing and crying that they both fell asleep on J.C.'s bed, despite her insistence that Justin had given her his bed for a reason. Planting a light kiss on his forehead and untangling herself from his arms, she crept into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Her face had gone through many changes in the last few months. Grief had put more hollow in her cheeks, making her cheekbones jut out more than usual. Lines and circles around her eyes had deepened from sad and lonely nights.

But Emma's face also indicated the recent change ahead. Instead of the vacant look that existed before, her eyes now sparkled like diamonds, cheeks flush with new love, and a smile continually tugged at her mouth.

Someone should take a picture of this expression, she thought, amused as she took a long, hot bath. When she emerged, J.C. was still sound asleep on his bed, arms still cradled as if she was still there. He looked peaceful, a serene smile on his face. Plopping down on Justin's bed, she watched him as she towel-dried her hair, then stretched out and watched him sleep. I'm home, she thought. How strange.

Five months ago when Emma first admitted to herself that she loved J.C., it had merely scratched the surface. When he stayed with her, it grew as quickly as she tried to suppress it, and she'd fallen even deeper in love. When he'd admitted feelings for her, she'd been thrilled and saddened at the same time for what was impossible. She thought it would be enough to know how he felt. But it wasn't, and she suffered still.

It had taken time, but he'd realized he loved her as well. Just as strongly, just as fiercely. Five months ago was nothing. Emma marveled at the wonder of being in love -- walking around knowing she was loved, and knowing her feelings were reciprocated in full. So this is what it feels like. She stared lovingly across at his sleeping figure on the other bed and sighed blissfully.

An hour later she opened one eye and saw a freshly scrubbed J.C. kneeling next to her bed, holding the mistletoe above them and dotting her face with kisses. "Where am I?" she said groggily.

He brushed the damp hair away from her face and took her hand. He smelled wonderful, looked beautiful and seemed completely refreshed for 7 a.m. He took her hand and kissed her palm.

"You're with me now," he said softly.

"It's not a bad place to be." She grinned, then furrowed her brow in mock contemplation. "Although, J.C., I have a question. A complaint, really."

"Yes?"

"How long have you been here, doing this?"

"Like, 20 minutes."

"Why is kissing me while I'm comatose a favorite hobby of yours?"

He grinned sheepishly. "In your dreams that one night, though, you said you were kissing me back."

"You are mistaken. I was kissing Tom Cruise."

He laughed warmly. "Emma, I want to ask you to do something."

"Sorry, man. Can't promise you'll be in the dream next time instead of Tom."

"I want you to go everywhere with me," J.C. said seriously.

She was slightly baffled. "I'm here, aren't I? That's what I came to do."

"I want to take care of you, and let you take care of me." He brought her fingers to his lips.

"You know I would."

He ran a finger lightly over her knuckles. "I want to sing you to sleep."

She nodded. "I'll sleep."

His eyes were sincere. "I want you to love me as I love you."

She leaned in and kissed his nose. "Silly boy. I already do."

"And I want you to eat with me, walk with me, dance with me --"

"J.C., where is this going --"

"For the rest of our lives."

Her head shot up, and she looked at him.

"I'm sorry," she said with a faint smile. "For a second there I thought you were --"

"Proposing?" He smoothed her hair, eyes never leaving her face.

"Yeah." She gave a little laugh that warmed his bones. "Your friends would have killed me for taking their jobs away after I just rescued them."

"What if I asked you now to marry me later?"

Her laugh was silenced in an instant. She sat upright on the bed and gulped. "What did you just say?"

"Emma, I want you to marry me." He leaned in even closer, his eyes drowning her. "I don't want to play anything more by ear. I love you. Say you'll say yes."

"That's got to be the strangest proposal I've ever heard. Being asked to accept a future proposal."

He rested his chin on one arm on the bed, the other still holding her hand, and looked up at her. "I'm fragile that way," he said lightly, imitating her voice and words from their first phone chat. "I just need to know where I stand, I guess."

She socked his arm. "You remember."

"I remember everything. Say you'll say yes."

He looked at her so lovingly, her eyes began to water. Love is sure turning me into a sap, Emma thought. Is it possible to be this happy?

"I'll say yes," she whispered.

"You will?"

"I will."

J.C. smiled at her and nuzzled her cheek. "Say it again."

"I will marry you."

He sighed. "One more time?"

"Joshua Scott Chasez," Emma pronounced happily, using his full name for the first time, "I love you and I'll marry you." She smiled serenely and took his hand so he could sit on the bed next to her.

J.C. gazed at his future wife and flipped the stray lock of hair away from her forehead. He looked at her in the way she loved, now with misty eyes. As Emma shyly pulled him closer, he engulfed her in his arms and murmured against her mouth: "I'm going to be worth it, Emma. I'm going to make you very happy."

©1999 by Twinkiegurl

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