Playing It By Heart: A J.C. Fanfiction Saga

Chapter Eleven: Worth It

"Why do you want to quit?" Julia asked, surprised, sitting at her office desk.

Emma crossed her legs again and looked down. "I don't, actually," she confessed. "This is the best job, my dream job, that I've ever had and the last thing I'd want to do is give it up. But there's something in my life taking priority over it, and now one of them has to go."

"Could this something be that nice young man from 'N Sync?" the editor asked, smiling.

Emma looked up. "It is," she confessed. "Kevin told me the day he died that he and his wife had to find a way to be together because they were so in love, and when he got this job she gave up her life to start a new one with him. She later told me that because she knew he was willing to give up his job, it didn't seem like much of a sacrifice anymore to her.

"That's kind of how I feel. My home would still be here, but I can't hold a job in New York and travel all over with him too. I'm giving up a lot by choosing to go wherever he is, but if that's what it takes to be together, I'll do it. He'd do it for me."

Julia looked at her thoughtfully and bent over to her file drawer. "Funny you should mention Kevin," she said, pulling out a few sheets of paper. "When we set up the new concert-review feature, he stipulated that you should work on the administrative end and have more opportunities to write."

Emma's eyes widened. She knew about the section, but didn't know she was being considered to work on it. A small kernel of doubt crept into her mind. A promotion. You're giving up a promotion.

"It was on the condition that we all felt you'd proven yourself and that marked improvement was shown in your work. When he died, our touring reviewer took over Kevin's position for the section. We've had people share the touring job here and there to get ready for its launch, but it hasn't really worked. No one wants to be on the road all the time."

Julia looked at Emma steadily.

"You've more than proven your talent as a writer, although I'm sad you can't be here to handle the administrative workload. Since you'll be traveling, I wonder if you could do a little freelance writing on the side for us - other concerts that play in the town you're in, music tastes of different areas. We could ask you to fly out once in a while for a specific concert, if you're willing to tear yourself away from him for two days."

Emma blushed but was completely flabbergasted.

"The thing is," Julia continued. "If you want to be a writer, these freelance clips will only help a little bit. You won't have the advantage you did before, working closely with other writers and editors and knowing what story opportunities are coming up. And if, heaven forbid, things don't work out with this young man, I can't guarantee you a job back here. We'd have to hire someone pretty quick to fill your spot for this section. And these freelance assignments may be sporadic for a while, and definitely not enough to live on. Are you sure about this?"

Emma hesitated for a moment. It was a bittersweet offer; a better opportunity that could simultaneously halt her career climb. Still, she'd walked in expecting nothing, and this chance to write had fallen into her lap. Suddenly assurance flooded her mind. But it didn't just fall into my lap. If Kevin hadn't ...

Emma nodded and stood up, tears filling her eyes. "I'm sure. I don't know what to say," she said softly. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You can thank Kevin," Julia said sadly. "He somehow did everything." She stood up and shook Emma's hand. "We'll miss you around here, you know."

* * * * * * * Two weeks later * * * * * *

"Emma, he's in really bad shape," Justin said, twiddling the phone cord in his hotel room in L.A. "He keeps asking why you haven't responded to the letter and asks me if you're dating that guy seriously. He's lost weight and sleeps more than usual. We're doing all this press for the Christmas album and he's not very Christmas-y. Everyone sees it."