Playing It By Heart: A J.C. Fanfiction Saga

Chapter Five: Looking at Her

"All right," Justin said at dinner the next night. "Tonight, the night is young. Tonight, we go dancing. Regular dancing."

"Justin, you're too young to get in," Chris reminded him.

"Okay, tonight you guys go dancing and I'll have me a Blockbuster night," Justin corrected himself.

"I'm sure we can find somewhere that you can get in," Emma assured him. "Or maybe they'll see your pretty face and not care."

"Really?" Justin's eyes widened innocently. "And will there be girls there?"

"Of course there will be. You can't expect me to be the lone female representation all evening, can you?" Emma asked, eyes twinkling. "Taryn can't make it, but I'm sure you guys will have no problem picking up some ladies. They have to pass me first, though."

"It's like having a baby-sitter," Justin groaned.

Emma had felt self-conscious around J.C. all afternoon. Trying not to make eye contact, stealing looks at him from the side. She tried to pretend last night didn't happen. There were a billion questions to ask, but she didn't have the nerve. He likewise hadn't been his laughing self, only cracking amused smiles when Chris or Justin clowned around.

"Hey J.C., you up for dancing?" Joey asked him.

"As long as it's not country," he replied, his look revealing nothing.

"Hey man, but you had fun last night," Lance said. "I saw you."

Both Emma and J.C. looked up, startled. "Saw me what?" J.C. said, alarmed.

Lance indeed had seen their dance and near-kiss while he twirled a fair-haired girl that night, but played innocent. "Saw you try those country moves. For someone who's such a good dancer ..."

J.C. sighed in relief. "Yeah, I know. Let's see you on the real dance floor, Lansten."

* * * * * * * * * * *

Remind yourself of the life you've chosen.

Remind yourself you're now a public figure.

Remind yourself that you're never home.

Remind yourself she's just your friend.

J.C. buckled a belt around his waist and looked himself in the mirror. He checked his hair, then his watch. He pulled on a long black jacket over his short-sleeved silk shirt and checked his watch again.

I don't have these thoughts often enough to really deal with them, he decided. They must not be that strong. Just fleeting. Just when you're lonely. You guys were dancing, she smelled good, it happens.

He tied on his shoes, pulled up his socks again and stood up from his bed. You are stronger than last night. Just enjoy being with her. Be her pal. Her buddy. It's what you asked for. You don't want a relationship. But if you had ...

J.C. knew he had initiated their embrace, and she had responded. She had looked just as confused as he was, and it was she who left. If she hadn't ...J.C. groaned at the thought. Man, that would have been a mess, he said to himself. Good thing.

He met the others downstairs in their rented house and fixed his gaze at the door. He looked at his watch again. He barely heard what the others were chatting about.

Just have fun, he told himself. Dance with some beautiful girls. There are many who wouldn't want anything more than a dance. And that's okay with you.

The doorbell rang.

Come on, you can do this. You've got control. You don't want to get into anything.