a little more

chapter 17

Taeil was finally sleeping after weeks of not being able to shut his noisy thought – his foster parent's death, Taeyong knowing the truth before Taeil was able to explain things to him, and Taeyong's statement about Haru being his daughter. Everything was hard for Taeil to handle alone.

Not to mention how remorseful he felt at Taeyong. At the same time, he was also angry at Taeyong for lying about Haru and everything brings Taeil back to the dark time when Taeyong take things away from Taeil. He had tried to grow from that day and Taeyong had been doing great, he doesn't take things away from Taeil anymore. But that statement about Haru is bringing everything back to the surface.

Taeyong had admitted his wrongdoing. It wasn't easy for Taeil to accept his apology, it still very much upset him whenever he sees a random necklace. It reminds him of what Taeyong had done to him. He grew up with the trauma. But then again, he can't do anything about it now even if he kills Taeyong with his bare hands.

The necklace won't return to his hands.

Taeil decided to learn how to forget about the necklace, it won't be easy. Taeyong is his family, Taeyong was there for him in his lowest moment. Taeyong was there when he is happy. Taeyong was there when he was sad, scared, lazy, ugly, and more. Taeyong was there in every moment of his life.

Taeil loves Taeyong. Not the way Taeyong loves him but still, his love for Taeyong is not any less than Taeyong's love for him.

Well, it makes them equal. Taeyong hurt Taeil with his past action and Taeil hurt him by marrying Doyoung and lying about Haru behind his back. It doesn't sound sane – sound sick and twisted even but that explains everything about Taeyong and Taeil's relationship.

Taeyong's pregnancy is not something that worries Taeil. He had been in that position, and he will protect Taeyong as he did when he was pregnant with Haru. Doyoung doesn't deserve to blame Taeyong because he was doing the same thing. The only difference was, Taeyong can get pregnant, Doyoung can't.

Taeil left the hospital last night because Doyoung was basically screaming at Taeyong. Taeil tried to stop the fight but Taeyong knows better. He just closes his eyes and pretended that nothing bothers him. He told Taeil that he can go home and Taeil did what was told.

Taeil doesn't even know if Doyoung and Taeyong ever fought. Being married for almost 5 years, Doyoung wasn't the type to fight. If he gets angry at something, he will step away and when he come back and pretend that everything is nice and fine.

The first and last time Doyoung screamed at Taeil was when he run away from the hospital because he didn't want to abort Haru. That was it and it still shock Taeil when he heard that voice again after years. But seems like the scream doesn't bother Taeyong at all, judging from his expression.

Warm and strong hand warping Taeil's waist. Taeil move a bit to give that person a space in his room, but it didn't register well in his head yet because he was tired and sleepy. He only opens his eyes when he feels wet and warm lips kissing his neck.

Taeil tried to struggle out from the hold but Doyoung was digging his nail into Taeil's stomach, a soft and trembling words, Doyoung manage to utter, "Let me hug you for a second."

What's wrong? Was Taeil supposed to ask Doyoung that?

To think about it again, it was a pity that Doyoung had to be in the middle of this. Taeyong doesn't really think about other people feeling when he wants something. Taeyong didn't say it but he kind of hinted that he married Doyoung because he was hoping that Doyoung can hold Taeil down with him.

Which, Taeyong was right about but still, Taeil feels bad for Doyoung.

Now Taeil wonders if Taeyong ever loves Doyoung. Taeil can see how much Doyoung was ready to drop everything for Taeyong. Taeil saw how Doyoung's eyes lit up whenever he talks to Taeyong. He thinks very highly of Taeyong and sometimes, Taeil was jealous of that.