Touch in the Dark - Bucky Barnes

Chapter 18

*A tiny flame flickered in the distance.*

The dark halls of my apartment building made me dread every step I took towards the place I didn't call home anymore. More and more of my every being was beginning to see that I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to live with Daniel anymore. I don't know why this feeling suddenly sprung up into my mind, but it was slowly taking over. I dreaded coming back to my apartment. I hated living in this building. I wanted parts of my old life back.

I pondered over the many things that I missed from before I moved in with Daniel. I missed being around people. I missed going outside. I missed reading. I missed going out to lunch with whoever I wanted just to have an excuse not to cook.

My mind then drifted to what had happened with Bucky. His cat, Alpine, was so adorable. Bucky had told me that she would wake him up from nightmares. It was strange to believe that an animal could do things like that, but yet, I craved having animals. I used to have a dog. I never said that I wasn't much of a cat person, but I had just never found one that just bonded with me. I was in fact having a nightmare, and Alpine somehow had helped wake me up.

I remembered their reactions towards each other and how relaxed Bucky had seemed when he talked to her. It was like she was his best friend. He had offered to take me home, then even admitted he didn't want anything bad to happen to me. I was very keen on denying his demands, but in truth I did trust him. I was itching to call him and ask him to come back and pick me up, but I wasn't sure if he'd answer. I didn't even know if I had his phone number.

As I had been around the Avengers more, I wanted to be in their vicinity and forget about my life here at this apartment. I wanted to spend time with Pepper and drink wine till we were giggling at god knows what Tony was blabbering on about. I wanted to get all nerdy with Peter and discuss everything we knew about video games and movies. I even wanted to ask Wanda and Natasha if they would want to be my friends and then do some...like girly stuff with them.

It was silly to want all these things when the chipped off white paint of my apartment door stared back at me. The last thing I remembered was how Bucky tenderly held my hand as he helped me into the car.

Why didn't Daniel do those things for me?

I shuddered as I reached my shaking hand towards the knob. I inserted the key and twisted, opening my apartment door. It creaked, as usual, but this time it sent goosebumps up my arms. My other hand clutched my satchel strap, looking up to peer into the living room. Some lights were on and I could see Daniel sitting on the couch. I stepped into the room, closing the apartment door behind me.

I didn't want to seem like I was on edge, so I made sure to tread carefully as I went to put my things on the floor. I took off my shoes and walked straight to my place on the floor. I still wasn't allowed to sleep on any soft surfaces. I wasn't allowed to eat or shower unless he gave me permission. I was hoping that I looked as dead as I felt, because I might be if he found out I had slept.

I kept my eyes trained onto the floor. I knew better than to make any type of sounds. If he wanted to speak, then he'd speak first. I could feel his cold eyes staring at my head.

"How was work?" The question was short and simple, but I could hear the underlying restraint in his tone. He was angry.

I kept my eyes down. "It was good," I whispered softly. I kept my answer short to match his question.