Happiness Begins // polin A.U.

Chapter Five: Hesitate

I will take your pain

And put it on my heart

I won't hesitate

Just tell me where to start

I thank the oceans for giving me you

You saved me once and now l'll save you too

I won't hesitate for you

Penelope is distracted. She's been overloaded with information and she has no one to talk about it with. She doesn't want to tell Eloise anything, and she doesn't want to tell Ella anything either. Neither of them would understand. And poor Daniel. Penelope has so many unread texts from him. She doesn't know what she wants to do. Should she give Colin a chance? Does he deserve it? Did he actually do anything wrong, or is she making what happened those years ago a bigger deal than it needs to be?

"God fucking dammit." She groans, and forces herself to get out of bed.

As she sits at her bureau and combs through her hair, she takes a good look at herself. Penelope likes the way she looks. She still has parts of her that aren't her favorite, but she's gotten therapy for all the body negativity she was subjected to growing up. She knows she's beautiful, inside and out. Why shouldn't Colin be madly in love with her?

"Slow down, Penelope, he said he had deeper feelings, he didn't say he was in love." She tells herself.

She's never talked about Colin in therapy. Maybe she should start. She just never wanted to hear that she needed to move on from him by someone else. Even with all his flaws, he's perfect. He was made for her, but she wasn't made for him. It's time she open her heart to someone who is.

**

Later in the week, Ella convinces Penelope to come out to one of the bars a few blocks away. There's usually good music and dancing. Daniel joins them, along with some other book club friends, and for the most part it's fun. Daniel buys Penelope a drink, and she happily accepts, taking a polite sip after taking it from him.

"You look incredible tonight." He tells her. She's wearing a simple black dress, but her cleavage is fully on display.

"Oh, well, thank you. I never get to wear this dress. Felt like a good occasion for doing so." She takes another sip of her drink. "This is good, what is this?"

"Oh, just a sex on the beach. It's sweet, but not too sweet. I figured you'd like it."

"You figured right. I'll have to get these more often."

"What do you usually go for?"

"I'm a sucker for vodka lemonades. I used to drink them all the time back home. Someone usually spiked the punch bowl, you know?"

"You never got sick of the taste?"

"Nah." She shakes her head. "In a weird way they taste like home."

Daniel smiles fondly at her, making her blush. This is good. She likes Daniel, and he likes her. They're both just shy. As much as she would prefer for a guy to take charge in this department, she finds it endearing that he's so respectful. They talk throughout most of the night, but Penelope feels her mind going in and out. She finds herself becoming terribly sleepy.

"I think she's had too much to drink." Daniel tells Ella. "I'm gonna bring her home."

"Okay! I'll come with."

"No, it's alright. You're having fun."

"I want to make sure she gets home and into bed."

"I'll make sure she does."