Happiness Begins // polin A.U.

Chapter Six: I Believe

Well, call me crazy

And people saying that we move too fast

But I've been waiting, and for a reason

Ain't no turning back

'Cause you show me something I can't live without

I believe

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Colin feels pathetic. Every time he reaches for the lotion on his bedside table and fits his fist around himself, he feels absolutely pathetic. But he can't help it. He dreams of Penelope, and he wakes up painfully hard. Thinking of the little gasps she makes, the soft moans, and the way she has no control over the way she rolls her hips forward drives him bonkers. Normally, he never feels ashamed when he takes care of himself. It's a perfectly natural thing to do. What's pathetic is how satisfied he feels after.

The last thing Colin wants to do is objectify Penelope, but in his blissed out state all he can think of is how good it would feel if her were hand around him. And the noises he makes when he's alone? Pathetic. He whines and moans and groans, his body laces with sweat, and he comes so hard that it spurts all the way up his stomach and chest. When the fog clears, usually after a somewhat cold shower, he feels bad. But he's not sure what else to do.

He's been enjoying spending time with Penelope again. It's not like he mauls her every time they're alone. They can't really do anything in his office, and she can't always get away to come to his place because she has her own work and studies. They're both busy people. Colin's constantly grading papers and presentations. It also takes a lot of administrative work for him to plan his travels. It's all very time consuming and tedious. That's not to say he doesn't steal pecks from her, or that they don't share knowing looks.

And it's not like Penelope doesn't want him just as badly. Sure, she doesn't touch herself every morning to the thought of him, but she still thinks of him. She thinks she's dreaming. She thinks she's going to wake up at any moment. But Colin's smile always brings her out of those thoughts. The way he pulls her into a tight hug. The way he'll take any chance to peck her lips. The way he'll carve out time during his day just to grab coffee with her. It's the bare minimum, but Penelope still appreciates his effort.

Penelope puts in effort too! She just does it more subtly. Like when she latches her with Colin's when they're walking around campus, or like when she gets his coffee for him (and gets that extra shot of caramel creamer that she knows he loves but he doesn't like saying so out loud), or like when she texts him a passage from a book she's reading and tells him she thought of him.

Needless to say it's going well thus far.

**

One evening, Penelope and Ella are getting some grading done over at Ella's. They're drinking wine and stopping every so often to giggle over some of the things their students have written.

"Ugh, I need a break." Ella knuckles at her eyes. "Feel like my eyes are going to bleed."

"Same. I like going paperless to help the environment, but staring at my iPad screen for hours on end can't be good." Penelope checks her phone and smiles when she sees a message from Colin.

"So, how are things going with him?" Ella asks.

"Things are great." Penelope's smile grows. "We just haven't had much time to do anything physical since that night in his kitchen a week ago."

"Don't you see him most evenings?"

"Yeah, in his office. That space needs to stay professional. It's not easy though. Sometimes I can feel his eyes on me, like he's eyeing his prey."