Name: Lyssa JacksonFamily: parents, four younger siblingsAppearance: black, full hair, grey-blue eyesCharacter: paints himself a lot, taciturn, loyal, helpful
Your story begins in sixth grade and you go to Hogwarts. You're in the same year with Katie Bell, you're both 16. You're a true work of art, but unfortunately no one appreciates it. You hardly do anything for school, but you're still super good because you have a photographic memory.
○○○"Hurry up a bit!" said my best friend, tugging on my sleeve again. I quickened my pace slightly, but didn't take my eyes off my arm for a moment, on which I was drawing intertwined symbols with the other hand. My full, wavy hair hung in my face, blocking my view of everything else, but I knew Katie wasn't going to let me run into anything. The proud Gryffindor and I were on our way to the Quidditch Stadium. Since I could also walk the path backwards in my sleep, it was no problem for me to continue painting my arm.Actually, I was always painting. My cheeks, temples, neck and all extremities were covered with intricate, partly faded patterns. I looked like the freak I was. Katie had been friends with me since second grade, though. I put my pen away, pushed up my glasses and smiled at my best friend, who nervously smiled back.We stopped near the stands. "All right then, I'll go to the locker room," Katie said, looking a little embarrassed. "Good luck and keep the Hufflepuffs alive," I said, seeing Katie's smirk in response. While she made her way the rest of the way to the dressing room, I walked to the stands and made my way to an empty seat at the edge with the other people in my house.I looked up at the sky for a moment. Realizing it, I turned my gaze back to the people next to me and wondered for a second where my pen was. Then I had pulled it out again and continued to work on my arm. I knew Katie was just getting better friends with Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson. The three made a great team but, believe it or not, Katie was quite shy around people she admired. That's why she didn't show up with me in front of them.I was pretty well known for being weird, and my painted body made me instantly recognizable to everyone.Katie was sure I didn't notice, but I knew my best friend too well. I didn't mind that she was ashamed of me in front of the two Slayers. If the three of them became friends the way Katie wanted, I knew she would introduce us. That's how long I would wait.I put my pen away again because the game was about to begin. I watched everything closely and applauded both my best friend and my house. Because as a Hufflepuff I was naturally loyal to my house too, although Katie had noticed before that I kept talking about "the Hufflepuffs" and never including myself.When the Gryffindors won, I exited the stands and made my way back to my common room, painting. I'd smiled at Katie as she looked my way and then left her to her friends who complimented the team.I deftly dodged everyone else on my way, only to find the disgruntled house crew assembled in my common room.I wasn't really surprised that they got here before me. After all, they had just lost a game and certainly didn't want to show themselves in public for the time being.I walked past them and stopped at a shelf with plants romping about between the various books. "From now on we train three times a week" I heard the voice of team captain Cedric Diggory. I also overheard the murmured approvals and the further discussion about the available brooms and the confiscation of the Quidditch field. I retrieved my parchment and quills that I had left here before the game and pulled a book from the shelf. Then I stepped back to pull out another book. But either someone had moved noiselessly behind me or had just taken a step backwards because I bumped into someone. "Look out," mocked our home team's beater, Kenan Byrne, as I turned. The rest of the team, otherwise only made up of girls, didn't look too pleased either. Since they were of course in a bad mood after this defeat, I forgave the driver for his behavior and just looked at him without a word until he apologized for the injustice. I gave him a small smile and left the common room, two books in hand, without saying a word.The Hufflepuffs shared Transfiguration with the Gryffindors. Katie could hardly sit still for the entire hour, so delighted was she at her team's win in the Quidditch match the previous afternoon. Because after the game I had to write an essay in a hurry, which is due today, she hadn't been able to talk to me about it anymore. Also, Cedric Diggory was sitting on the bench to Katie's left. She had a bit of a crush on him, even if she immediately forgot that over everything interesting that was happening. But in class she kept thinking about it and then she became a fidgeting thing that often swept my books off the table with hectic movements."And you really don't want to apply for your team?" Katie asked me for the hundredth time and I just shook my head with a smile. We were just leaving the classroom and we went in a throng with the others to the great hall for lunch. "But we could train together, even if you wouldn't tell me your team's strategy, of course. You're very loyal to that," Katie continued her little monologue. I didn't even have to start to say anything because Katie looked at me and said with a grin, 'I know we've had this topic way too many times and those are all good qualities of you. I should settle for my best friend the way she is." I nodded and then we both started laughing. Katie's laugh was very hearty and much louder, turning people's heads to look at us. Like everything else about me, my laugh was rather quiet and I wordlessly pushed up my glasses once we had calmed down. We always had to laugh about it. Because, very atypically for my best friend, Katie came up with this wisdom herself in our third year, after she had repeatedly questioned my wordlessness and constant painting.Suddenly Katie stumbled towards me and I grabbed her arm so she stayed upright. "Sorry, that wasn't on purpose," Cedric said to Katie, who had brushed against her as he passed. "It's okay," she answered and I had the feeling that her eyes were still glued to him long after he had disappeared between the others.I just gave her a look and Katie immediately replied, "Not now, but I know I should talk to him." She knew my opinion on the subject, but somehow Katie seemed quite happy with only occasionally idolizing Cedric from a distance.We entered the Great Hall and Katie said goodbye with a smile in my direction before heading over to her Gryffindor friends. I sat down at my table, the seats next to me were free, and took my pen out of my pocket. I was finally able to use the time until the food was on the table. But surprisingly, a voice made me look up, "Hey, what are you studying for the Transfiguration test?" Cedric was seated across from me, with Kenan and two girls sitting next to him. "Since the theme is animagi, you should memorize everything about the mammals and check out the birds as well. Fish won't get it, and of the amphibians only frogs, if at all," I summarized everything that Professor McGonagall had casually dropped in the last few hours about the possible test. Today she had announced the test for the day after tomorrow and I was often asked about something like that. While the others didn't know I had a photographic memory (so I'd forgive Cedric for asking what I was studying for the test, because I don't study for that kind of thing), but it was known that I always knew exactly what was on it would come.Cedric thanked him and then chatted with one of the girls next to him, who complained that we only covered animagi in theory.I had to bite back a grin because, honestly, I'd love to see Ellen Shirley, one of the least ambitious people I've ever met, try her hand at becoming an animagus. She was super nice, loyal, and saw the good in everyone, but she wouldn't even stick around long enough to memorize the theory.Not that I would try, but I knew the theory. I had read a book about it and since then I could count the necessary steps in my sleep.After lunch, Katie and I both had a free period, so we sat down on a bench by the lake and she was finally able to talk to me about the Quidditch game. I listened to her talk but subconsciously scanned the sky with my eyes. Realizing it because I hadn't found anything, I looked back at Katie.She talked about the first two goals for a while until Cedric's name came up. Then her eyes lit up and she abruptly changed the subject: "I saw that you were talking while eating. What were you guys talking about?" "He asked me about the Transfiguration test," I replied, slightly surprised that she was asking that instead of talking about Quidditch or raving about Cedric."Ah interesting. I am excited. Be sure to let me know the next time he talks to you and I I'm not there," she said. I raised an eyebrow. The unspoken question why should I do that? She immediately answered with: "I noticed that he only ran into me before dinner because he was looking at you. And then he spoke to you. Of course I'm wondering what that means" grinning, my best friend leaned closer to me. "Maybe it doesn't mean anything? He's talked to me before," I retorted, then elbowed her in the side, "besides, you're the one who's looking at him more than is healthy, so what's the point?"Katie laughed before honestly answering my joking question. "I already like him, but I kind of like the idea of the two of you getting together. That would be so cute." She sighed a bit and I had to raise my eyebrows again. "Oh, now we're supposed to be a couple. Since when do you think that?" "Not long," she admitted, but then grinned at me, "but I really like the idea." I saw the sparkle in her eyes and let out a loud breath. "Oh no, you're not going to be embarrassingly trying to set us up. Besides, I wouldn't have a chance against his fan club anyway", I defended against her suggestion that hadn't been made yet and at the same time tried to take the wind out of her sails."Yes he will," my best friend chirped, "he'll see right through your wall of silence, appreciate your incredible talent for painting, and get to know the amazing person you really are." And then he'll fall madly in love with you, leave all these girls behind for you and take care of you." She clutched her heart theatrically and painted this scene in the most beautiful colors, but I couldn't help it, I started to laugh. "Of course, and he also wants to marry me," I added, laughing and clearly ironic to her debauchery. "I admit that's a bit of an exaggeration. But there can definitely be something out of it if you would talk a little more in his presence," she said, grinning, but then she got serious."Would you even want that?" she asked me and I knew she expected an honest answer. So I shrugged, "I hadn't thought about that. He's nice, yes, but we've never talked about anything other than classes, and not for long.""Well, try to figure that out for a while while I try to get him to talk," Katie began, noticing my rather horrified expression and assuring me, "Not in a way that he'd notice, of course. We'll just talk to him more often." I looked at her skeptically, but finally shrugged, realizing she wasn't going to give up until she got some sort of approval from me.As Katie then enthusiastically reflected on the hours she had with the Hufflepuffs, my gaze wandered into the distance. Unconsciously my eyes searched the sky as so often. But of course they didn't spot anything and when I saw it I turned my attention back to Katie.We chatted for a while and my best friend finally got back to the Quidditch game. After we analyzed it expertly, the free period was almost over.A few days later I finally got the mail. When I saw that my parents were the senders, I just left my breakfast and went back to my dorm. I sat on my bed and stared at the envelope shaking in my shaking hands.I breathed in, knowing there was either good news or bad news, but reading it would change something irrevocably. That was stupid, of course, because this change had already happened, which was the only reason my parents wrote the letter. But I didn't know yet... My heart was racing and I felt sick. What if...I pushed my thoughts aside and opened the letter. I read the letter once and felt my heart stop. Then I read it again and my eyes lingered on the five words spelled out on the paper in my mother's shaky handwriting. I had feared her for so long...I couldn't quite realize it yet, but already my eyes filled with tears, my body convulsed and with the next breath I collapsed on my bed crying.The letter crumpled in my hand and I heard the five words looping in my head: He is gone...I was back at school.Unobtrusive as I was, most people hadn't noticed the change, but I'd told Katie what had happened. She knew why I had been suspended from school for two days and what had happened. She too, like the teachers had suggested that it would be good if I stayed home longer, but I had refused.My parents couldn't look at me at the funeral because the patterns on my body screamed his name. And, as one doctor explained to me, my parents had gotten into the grieving phase called denial pretty quickly.But it wasn't my parents' behavior that made me want to go back to school as soon as possible, but rather my own.I hadn't been able to comfort my siblings. They turned to me when my parents had understandably fallen into a cliff and there was nothing I could do. I just looked at them, the crying faces and when it all got too much for me, I pushed them away.Since then I've been like a different person. Even though I'd only been back at school a few days, it was by being mean, if anything, that I stood out. Instead of being wordless, I voiced every thought of displeasure that crossed my mind."Don't block the entrance, others have to go this way," I snapped at a small group of second years loitering in the library door. They ducked me, startled, and I rushed toward the table where Katie was sitting with Ellen Shirley, Cedric, and Kenan. They were studying for Arithmancy and I put the book she asked me to put in front of Katie. Katie thanked me and I nodded away as I was late for my next lesson. Katie and the others were off now, but I had to do Defense Against the Dark Arts.I was about to leave when Kenan suddenly spoke to me: "Hey, who are you? Are you in our year?" I snorted and whirled on him. "I always suspected that you were rather underexposed, but I didn't think you were that blind myself," I fire in his face and storm out of the library.I rolled my eyes on the way to VgddK. Yes, I looked different, but not that much. I wasn't wearing my glasses right now because VgddK could get pretty active sometimes and my eyesight wasn't so bad that I couldn't see much without them. In addition, my hair was straight (also because of VgddK) in a ponytail, which I usually wore open.I looked down at my arm, which shone palely towards me in the dark hallways.And the color was gone from my skin.My mind wandered back to the day I'd first scrubbed myself in the shower as thoroughly as I could, then used my wand to remove all traces of paint from my body. It was only a few hours after the funeral, and the sight of his arm adorned with three intertwined tendrils that I had painted there made up much of my nightmares.It was my little brother Liam, whose death my parents had told me in a letter.He'd been ill before I even came to Hogwarts. He had been five when he was diagnosed with the fatal disease. I understood all the hospital visits way too well by the time I was ten, unlike my other three siblings. The twins, Lennox and Leona, have been very attached to each other since they were seven and this all started, while it had become my job to look after the youngest, Louis, who was then two years old. My parents, wracked with sleep deprivation and worry about continuing to work, had taken Liam to the hospital more and more over the years.I had started painting Liam's arm just before my first year at Hogwarts. He laughed because he found the marker ticklish and the sound almost made me cry. Because since the disease was diagnosed, he hadn't had much to laugh about. Since then I've painted myself and him too whenever I've visited him in the hospital. When he was feeling well enough, he would scan my arms and face for the new patterns before deciding which ones to paint on his arm.The thought brought tears to my eyes again. I would never paint his arm again, he would never laugh at the marker again...I allowed myself to be sad for a few seconds, then blinked back tears and hurried the rest of the way to the classroom.Katie was waiting for me after class and took my arm as she often did. She didn't talk that much anymore. I knew she was trying to be there for me even though I had become so difficult. "Do you think you're well prepared for Arithmancy?" I asked her. Katie made a face. "I probably should have started studying earlier, but apart from that I feel quite safe." I nodded and we were silent again until we got to the great hall. I just saw Alicia and Angelina in walk down the hall and pulled my arm out of Katie's. "There's Alicia and Angelina up ahead, I'm going to the Hufflepuff then..." I started, but Katie held me back. We stood near the entrance to the great hall and she looked at me. "You don't have to go just because the two are here," she said calmly. "Okay, I thought you'd be more comfortable," I replied, shrugging. Now my best friend suddenly looked guilty. "Did you notice? I didn't mean to... I mean, I'm not ashamed of you, it's just..." she stuttered and suddenly it hurt me more than I ever thought possible. Because the fact didn't bother me, but the way she said it now...Someone suddenly put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you coming to dinner with us, Lyssa?" Cedric asked, suddenly standing next to me with Kenan, Ellen and two girls from our house team. I turned my head to him and noticed that he was looking at Katie with a kind of disappointment. She seemed to shrink under his gaze and didn't look at me when I agreed and went to our house table with the others.Meanwhile, I wondered what was going on. The others had probably been behind us and heard our conversation.Katie had studied with Kenan before, but it had only recently been joined by the rest of the clique of Cedric, Ellen and some Quidditch players. Now that they were all friends they must have been disappointed with Katie's behavior and Cedric had decided to take me out of the awkward conversation.Unfortunately, they managed to engage me in an equally awkward conversation. "I honestly have to say that I think it's a bit of a shame that you're not painted anymore," Ellen said to me as we sat at the table and loaded our plates with food, "that looked really great, you're really good at it good". I almost dropped my knife. "Thank you," I mumbled in response, staring at my plate. Aside from the thoughts of Liam, other, bitter ones welled up in my mind.She hadn't said that to me when I was painted. None of them had bothered to save me from unpleasant situations. The oh-so-faithful and loyal Hufflepuffs hadn't cared if I got mean comments about the patterns.I tried to think rationally. I was in a vicious circle of bad thoughts that I needed to break out of. It had only been a week and a half since my brother's death, so Katie's behavior had hurt me all the more. Putting it all together, it was clear that I was now thinking so badly of the others.I absently listened to the others eat and stared at the table.After that I crouched under a tree near the lake and stared straight ahead.Somehow everything just passed me by.That's how it stayed for the next time. It was only after a while that I realized that Cedric and the others seemed to want to be friends with me, because they sat with me at meals, wanted to study with me and then even invited me to Quidditch practice.And then Katie came up to me. She apologized to me and said she missed her best friend. I wasn't angry with her anymore and of course I accepted her apology. She then introduced me to Angelina and Alicia.It was a nice gesture, but I didn't get along with them that well. So we sort of shared Katie, which was totally fine. At least Katie helped me deal with my grief again and after a while I started talking to her about Liam.Although she was always there for me when we did something together, she spent quite a lot of time with Alicia and Angelina in the meantime.So neither she nor I noticed that I went to my study meetings in the library smiling, far more often than was usually found on the Quidditch pitch, and had real friends, aside from Katie.I was unusually cheerful and felt I was making progress in overcoming grief as well.But just a week before the Easter holidays, a conversation with Katie of all things plunged me into a new low.Katie waved to Alicia and was still giggling as she turned back to me. We walked together to a bench under a tree. Katie had just come from Quidditch practice and we strolled along at a leisurely pace."What are you laughing at?" I asked curiously. "Alice and Angie asked me about my regular, good-looking, quidditch-playing Hufflepuff society," Katie said, grinning. She wagged her eyebrows, "Angie is sure that Cedric wants something from me". "Really?" I asked totally surprised. I really didn't expect that. "She says he's way too nice to me. And now that she asked me about it, I think so too," she said. "Oh I see? But Cedric is very nice to everyone. Because he's so popular," I objected. Somehow I didn't like the direction the conversation was going. "That may be, but we've been friends for so long now that it's obvious," she said, shrugging. "Okay, but do you like him? So, really?" I asked cautiously, not sure how to phrase it. Because she joked only a few weeks ago that she would like to see Cedric and I together and never seemed really interested in a relationship with him."I already like him, but I'm not in love now. But if I brought it up to him and he asked me if we would date, I would agree," she admitted honestly. "But why? If you're not really interested in him..." I mumbled. "Just for fun. I've never had a boyfriend and Cedric would be a good start," she said casually, but my mouth fell open. "Really, Katie? Just for fun?"Katie crossed her arms defensively. "Why not?" she asked challengingly. "You could take hope away from someone else or hurt it," I stated. The words were out of my mouth before I could think about it. I found myself getting angry."Oh, nobody can take all those girls who think they're in love with him and pant after him because of that," Katie dismissed my objection.I didn't like her attitude at all. "That's totally mean, they're only human after all. And maybe they're not imagining it and they don't know how else to show it?' 'Come on, Lyssa. I know you see the good in everyone, but they really are just annoying. The other day, Cedric and I went to the library together and immediately five fourth-year girls followed us. I could barely hear him because they were giggling so loud" Katie rolled her eyes at the memory, "besides, who's going to stop me? No one cares if I kill the poor girls all hope for Cedric." I looked at her in horror. Since when was Katie like this? I didn't even know her like that. I said angrily, "Didn't you just hear me? But whatever, do what you think. Another person I can't help." The last sentence slipped out involuntarily and I turned and quickly ran away.I holed up on top of the astronomy tower for the rest of the lunch break. Crouched on the floor, I rested my head on my knees and squeezed my eyes shut.Again I saw the faces of my siblings in front of me. Yes, Leona and Lennox were already thirteen, but at that moment they too had become helpless creatures who just needed comfort. And Louis, only eight years old, no longer understood the world.But I had just pushed him away when he came to me, as cold as I had ever felt.And less than three days later I was just going back to school. Had disappeared, left my family alone with their grief and eaten my own into me. I'd even been glad for a while that Leona and Lennox weren't also witches and wizards and therefore didn't go to Hogwarts with me.I despised myself for not being able to help them."Lyssa, stop!" Katie ran after me. It was mid-afternoon and I was walking towards the door to my common room. I had come here as soon as possible after class because I expected Katie to want to talk to me.I said the password and stepped through the door into my crowded common room as quickly as I could. I hoped Katie wouldn't come along or wouldn't broach the subject in front of so many people.Unfortunately she didn't care. "Lyssa!" Katie grabbed my sleeve just as I had taken two steps into the room. I turned to her and looked at her in silence. Katie's expression softened. "Why do you want to help me? I'm fine," she asked. I didn't say anything, just had no words for everything that was going on inside me. "Is it because of your brother? You couldn't do anything, it was an illness..." she continued and at her words I stiffened and tore myself away. "Stop it" I croaked in a hoarse voice, "I know that".Katie seemed to see that I meant business. "Then what is it? Why do you feel like you have to help me?" I shook my head in desperation, then turned and ran away for the second time that day. I avoided the eyes of the many students who had been listening to us and hurried to my dorm.Katie had left me alone after that.I dragged myself through the next few days with an even greater guilty conscience.When one afternoon after class with the a When the other Hufflepuffs came back from Herbology, I saw a first year standing in the hallway. Rubbing her tear-stained face with her sleeve, she began to pick up the books that lay on the floor in front of her. "Wait, I'll help you." I quickly walked over to her, gathered up the books and let her open her bag so I could put them in."What's going on?" I asked softly. "Maja pushed me just because I was reading in the hallway and then dropped all my books," she said in a squeaky voice.Before little Hufflepuff could wipe her face with my sleeve again, I handed her a handkerchief. "Of course that's common. So now you have all your books back." I closed her bag and slung it back over her shoulder. "What's your name?" I asked the girl. "I'm Ella". "Okay, Ella, a tip: It's best not to read standing up when it's so crowded." I let her look around the hallway, which was still filled with streams of students. "Look, there's a bench back there, just sit down there, then Maja can't do anything like that anymore," I advised her. The little one nodded and looked much better."And if Maja should be mean to you again, will you come to me?" I smiled at Ella and she nodded, then she smiled a bit too. She politely said goodbye and walked away.I straightened up and stopped. It worked. My face grimaced, why did I have no problem helping Ella but failed at my own family?I dropped my head and picked up my own bag. As I looked up to start walking again, I looked straight into Cedric's eyes. He was very close. I had to swallow. How much did he notice?Apparently enough. As I walked in his direction, he joined me. "Lyssa," he began, "nice of you to help the girl," he said. I just nodded. "Hey," he put his hand very lightly on my shoulder so I stopped and turned to him, "why do you want to help everyone?" I just looked at him in silence for a moment. He had just asked a question, if I didn't answer it he would accept it. I got to know him that well, after all.But that made it easier for me to tell him everything: "My little brother died in February," I began. "He's had the deadly disease for a long time, so we were prepared for the possibility..." I faltered, "sort of. But of course the world collapsed anyway when it happened. My parents were in shock and my younger siblings turned to me for comfort when I arrived at the hospital. But I couldn't..." I stifled a sob, "I couldn't help them, I pushed them away and left them alone..."Now the tears broke out of me and I hardly noticed how Cedric gently pulled me to him. He hugged me and I let him.When my tears stopped after a while, I pulled away from him and took out a handkerchief. I felt totally beat up, but somehow much better at the same time. Maybe I just had to let it out."And that's why you're trying to help everyone else now," Cedric said calmly and I nodded while grabbing a handkerchief. "It's stupid, but I feel so bad. My parents have only written me one letter since then and nothing has come from my siblings. What if I hurt her so much that..." I couldn't continue because I was already scared of the idea."I understand that. But you were in shock yourself, you probably know that," Cedric tried to calm me down and it worked a bit. "Perhaps. I should probably..." "Lyssa! Were you crying?" Katie rushed towards us and stopped dead in my tracks. I made a sound somewhere between sobs and laughter at the menacing look she gave Cedric. "Don't worry, he was very sweet and comforted me," I assured Katie."Okay. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Katie asked cautiously. I nodded and blew my nose one last time."I'll leave you alone," Cedric said, preparing to leave. "Cedric...thanks" I said when he looked at me. He smiled at me, we just looked at each other for a moment, then he nodded and walked away.I also told Katie what was going on and she was just as Katie-y as I had hoped.Then she changed the subject and said that she would leave it with Cedric because she had thought about what I said and actually agreed with me. She even made me laugh at the end.Then she admitted, a bit guiltily, that she had asked Cedric to talk to me. I was totally surprised, but KaTie quickly said: "He had asked me after the evening in the common room if I knew why you were so sad. At first I thought about whether I could tell him, but then I thought that you guys are pretty good friends too, and then I told him a little bit. But I also told him that I don't know what helping is. And that I couldn't get you to talk about it.I know I can be too much sometimes," she looked a bit embarrassed, "so I asked him if he could maybe talk to you," she admitted.I knew what she really wanted to ask. "It is in order. I probably have to say thank you" I said and spontaneously hugged her. Katie was visibly relieved."But I didn't have to do much, he was pretty worried himself," she said."If you say so," I replied vaguely. "Of course! Now don't doubt so much" she corrected me with a laugh and I smiled happily at her.Two days later, spending more time with Katie and Cedric than ever before, Cedric approached me after class. We just left the room having Charms."How about writing a letter to your family explaining everything? They'll be happy about that." I looked at him in surprise. "That's a good idea," I whispered, wide-eyed. "That's a really good idea!" I repeated louder because Cedric hadn't understood me. "I'll do that now, thanks!"I spontaneously hugged him, beamed at him and ran towards my dorm. I left a stunned but smiling Cedric and sat down at a table in the common room with parchment, pen and ink."Dear Mom and Dad, Leo & Lennie, and of course Louis,I'm sorry. I left you alone because I couldn't handle it myself. I've always thought I'm the one who takes care of everyone, but I had to take care of myself first.It still hurts a lot and I think it will always be like that. But I don't have to isolate myself because of that, because you feel the same way, I understand that now.I miss you all very much and am already looking forward to the holidays when I see you all again.I miss Liam a lot too, wish he could be there too....I hope you can forgive me.I promise you that in the future I will try not to run away. I can always count on you and my friends.I love you very muchyour Lyssa"I wrote on the envelope, picked up the letter, and was suddenly in a terrible hurry to get to the Owlery.When I got to the top, I borrowed one of the school owls and sent it to my house.I watched as the dark-feathered bird took to the air and slowly disappeared over the horizon, my letter on my leg.
