What I Once Called Love: The Drafts

Need to Forget

For the record, I have tried to forget you over and over again. I have attempted to dismiss our memories as simply matters of the past more times than I can count. I've tried to justify it all by saying we were too young to know any better, but somehow it isn't enough.

This should be the happiest time of my life, but there you are, clear as crystal, in the forefront of my mind.

I catch it all in glimpses....

There we are, sitting in the stairwell, your arms holding me up while I break down... Or then, when we're goofing off with my family in the backyard on a hot summer's afternoon... Or there, sitting nervously on my couch while you're trying to convince me to close my eyes so you can kiss me for the first time...

I sometimes imagine what it would be like to run into you now. Maybe we would set a time to meet up for lunch just to catch up. Maybe this becomes a monthly or even a weekly thing. Maybe our lunches lead to hours spent discussing how our lives have changed. Maybe you rediscover the love that you once had for me as I blush under your gaze.

But that would never happen.

There are no connections in our realities. You have moved on with the family of your own while I am still waiting for my life to begin.

So for now, I fight to forget you and the maybes your memories bring.