Sometimes good things are started with pain.
Sometimes good things involve pain.
Sometimes pain is the good thing.
Pain is essential.
Pain is life.
You can't live without pain.
Alice tells herself this as she trudges through the day with a broken heart, struggling to hold back tears. "I'm alone..." Alice whispers, "And that's all I'll ever be." She manages to make it all the way home before reducing to a lump of tears and self pity in her bed. When she finally unravels herself she stares down at her bare arms and legs, scars from years of self harm covering her body.
"I will not do it. I will not do it." She repeats through sobs. Finally at six o'clock her mother makes it home to find her crying.
"Mom!" Alice rushes to her mother and wraps her arms around her, sobbing violently. "Adam left me for some other girl... Mom, I've never been in so much pain in my life... Please don't make me go back tomorrow..." She sobbed and collapsed to the floor. Her mother sighed and wiped tears from her face .
"Oh sweetie... You don't have to go tomorrow. I'll schedule a therapy appointment. Find someone to stay the night or come see you, I don't want you hurting yourself, doll." Alice nods and heads back upstairs to her bedroom.
She calls her best friend Christopher. Ring. Ring. She begins to lose hope of him answering.
"Hello?" Chris answers.
Her heart lifts a bit.
"Chris... Adam left me for another girl... I need you, I'm sad and lonely and nobody here can help me. Will you come stay with me?"
There's lots of background noise as he stumbles out of what was obviously a club. He goes quiet.
"Well, Alicat, it will take me a while.... I'll start driving tonight. And see you tomorrow. If I make it there in time I'll stay at your house, if not I'll stop at a hotel along the way, alright babe?"
She smiles a bit at his use of her nickname and his little pet names.
"Yeah, I'll see you then. Love you, Chris." A deep breath comes from the other end. "I love you more than you know, kid." He responds.
She smiles, he hangs up. "All good things start with pain....." She whispers to herself, slow tears falling down her face. "Let's hope this is a good thing." She curls up in bed and eventually sobs herself to sleep, the lights still on.
