'Love again - Duff Mckagan.

chapter 2, page 3.

Saturday, August 13th, 1987.
.... 2:10 pm

The sounds of birds chirpping outside the window with the sun glaring in, the person wom I have called my best friend who was now; best friend with benefits.

I would think, Lord knows what we are, after the ravish things we did last night, washing up and going to bed after the doing so - we never talked about any of it.

So in my head, I left it at BFTB, translating to best friends with benefits.

I'd hope we would talk in the morning when we woke up, but I got nothing, not a word of the feelings left in the hotel air.

Just a peck on the head and a "last night was dearing- your perfect"

I love the affections. In some way, maybe that's how he meant it - maybe it was nothing other than sex, just best friends having sex.

Sorry, but that's not normal, in any shape, way, or form.

Little did I know what was going to come of the later of the day.

••••
3rd person pov:
••••

Rose felt almost saddened by the lack of knowledge of what her and Duff were - or were supposed to be.

She thought after the Dearing, ungodly things that took place in the very hotel they were just at, they'd talk.

She was wrong.

In duffs mind, he was trying to think of a way to bring it up. He'd never had to deal with this before. Many past girlfriends never led him to this moment - never prepared him for any of it.

He was slowly freaking out inside, his guts almost spilling words, more like rants - out of his mouth.

His brain was going 100 miles per minute, he wasnt sure if it was the early morning (more like afternoon), vodka, orange juice, or nerves.

He was speeding through everything, anxious like never before about talking to his best friend of 4 years.

He never knew her going on tour with him, and the band would not suppress his feelings but gain them, pulling them out in the air like smoke.

He was scared of what she thought after the moments that happened yesterday. He couldn't get what she said out of his mind.

'She really thought of me like that?'

That was constantly running through his mind, the slow and agonizing pain of his feelings and overthinking got in the way of everything.

He was setting at the counter of the kitchen, leg bouncing at rapid speed, a drink close by for him to sip every once in a while, a cigarette dangling from his mouth while he inhales the cancer stick.

He was staring off into the distance, zoned out, thinking about all the things that could go wrong with talking to her in the moment.

'I could get rejected'
'She's surely just horny'
'No way, she's gonna ruin our friendship'
'I'm a idiot. She hates me'
'What if I ruined the friendship?'
'I'm a fucking idiot'

The negative thoughts ran threw his mind faster then he could breath, from the outside he looked anxious and panicked, on the inside; he was just that.

Rose was setting on the couch, right by the arm, leaning on it, stairing off into space.

She was panicked inside, thinking of the possible outcomes of this tour.

'Hes fucking with me'
'Hes gonna act normal once we get off the road'
'Hes a up-and-coming rocstar, it's just sex'
'I ruined the damn friendship'
'Was it to early?'