Going After Heaven (Mafia Romance)

Chapter Thirty Four

HEAVEN:

I smile into his chest as he holds me still. I can feel his heartbeat thrumming lightly and the rise and fall of his chest moving under my cheek which I'm sure is spicy red.

His fingers stroke my forearm like a soft painter's brush stroke on a canvas. He moves it to my hair which is now scraggy looking and massages my scalp tenderly. 

I should feel ashamed. I should feel guilty. I should feel condescending. I had his dick in my mouth and I can still taste his cum on my tongue. But instead, I feel light. I feel at peace. That peace that he has in his bowel creeps up on me and cloaks me away from any negative emotion that will ruin this for us.

Thanks to Helena for always stopping by to give me tips on how to give proper blow jobs because she wanted me to lack no sexual experience and give Javier something to gloat about.

She will never forgive me if she finds out who I used it on. She will never forgive me and even worse when she finds out I want to do it again.

I want to have him stretch my mouth again. Feel his thickness under my touch as my fingers wrap around him. I want to taste him and wring him dry, licking every drop of him as if my life depended on it. Now more than ever I want to know what he will feel like when he pushes through me and fuck me as he promised with those eyes the first day in the elevator.

"Time to eat, don't even think I'll let you skip," he says and lifts me with him as he stands on his feet.

The first and the last man to have me in his arms like this was my papa and that was a long fucking time ago. My head is on his chest, my hands nearly around his body, while both his hands are under me, clinging me to his taut body.

"But I feel full," I murmur.

"That was appetizer" he vibrates under my chin.

"It was a full meal," I tease.

"Not having it," he moves to the table and bends slightly to pick up two take-home packs of tacos.

He walks with me in his arms to the sofa. He tilts to let me rest on it and then let's go.

"It's simple, open your mouth, bite, chew and swallow," he sits by my side and helps with opening a packet.

Lucky for him I now feel hungry as the familiar meaty and vegetable-spiced smell hits my nostrils. My mouth waters and my stomach starts to carve a hole in the anticipation of the meal.

I take a bite from the taco and make a satisfied moan as it hits my taste bud. I've missed this. Meat sauce and crumbs spill to my top and I start to pick the shredded meat into my mouth.

Done with picking, I am about to bite again when I see Gabriele's eyes following my every move. I hold his gaze as I bite a chunk from it.

"What?" I ask with my mouth full and he smiles.

"You..." he shakes his head, keeping the words back in.

"Seriously, spill" I take another bite. I might actually finish the ten packs. Never say never.

"You look beautiful,"

I feel beautiful.

With the way his eyes are taking me in like I've been transformed into some mystical being, I feel every letter of the word beautiful.

I had thought if we go further he'd start to treat me condescendingly. I mean some people start to treat the people they get intimate with poorly after the session. But not him. He looks at me like a temple of his favorite gods and I cannot deny how that makes me feel so lightheaded, my stomach flooded with bees, and my heart swollen with ecstasy.

"You are a beautiful man," I say and throw the last of my taco in my mouth. He bites the side of his lower lip and smiles the quick almost not-there smile.

Something about that tells me he doesn't get complimented enough or that he takes mine to heart. I'll take the latter, because have you seen the man?

He opens the second pack and hands it to me. I don't argue, I just start to eat.

"What about you?" I ask.

"Me what?"

"Are you not going to eat?"

"I am not hungry" so much for a man that bought a damn restaurant because I put up a fight about eating. "But if you give me your pussy I'll make an exception"

My stomach heats up and my ears go smoking hot. Damn the filthy things that come out unfiltered from those lips.

"You can't have dessert until after the main meal" I shrug.

He stands immediately, moves to the table, grabs two packs of tacos, comes back to the sofa, opens one, and starts to eat.

What in... I burst into laughter. My tingling sound resounds in my office and wrenches in my gut.

"Don't play with me," he swallows.

"Noted," I laugh some more. I didn't think he'd interpret that as needing to eat but I'm glad it worked.

He moves closer and uses the pad of his finger to wipe the sauce off my upper lip, "don't ever stop laughing," he takes the finger to his mouth and licks the sauce off.

I swallow with him. And without filtering my next words they roll out of my tongue, "why are doing this? This job" I want to know. It's not in my place to know but every time I think about Friday, the organs in my stomach knot and I can't help the tightening of my chest. Or that choke I now feel in my lungs. Like spider webs blocking the free flow of air.

"Because I want to," I see that placid nature starts shrouding him. Mercurial man. One minute he's open and the next he's closed. Keeping Gabriele from the last few minutes hidden away.

"Do you have any family?" I attempt to tear through the cloak.

He drops his taco and takes a deep breath.

"I lost my family fifteen years ago, an emperor attacked my family on vacation, I was out partying with friends, and it was my parent's anniversary that night," he chuckles dryly, almost like a snort. "Our manor was wiped clean, my sister and mother died in my arms," he looks at his hands, "I felt the life leave their bodies as I hold them to my chest, bullets buried in their stomachs," his lips twitch.  He doesn't say it in a sad way. He sounds detached from the story. But I see his sad eyes quickly before he pushes the sadness away.

Who could do something like that? Well that was what Black Rifle did to my family. He took them from me. And if something similar happened to him it means we are more alike than we know. It means he understands my reason for doing this.

"Three years later I paid that night back in full, I swept through empires to make sure of that" he looks at me. His eyes are now empty, back to that fury I saw at the elevator. "To answer your question, no I don't have a family"

"I'm sorry," I go to hug him. He stiffens but I don't move away.

I understand him. We've been forged from the same furnace. But unlike him, I am yet to know the feeling of revenge.

And he is here to help me know that.

His arms come around me and I curl up into his embrace.