Untold Secrets

4

"ʟɪꜰᴇ ɪꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ."

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Seeing the lake now is a painful reminder that Nick Kage is gone. I sat down at the picnic table, but he isn't here by my side.
I've never been one for dances. Like rumors, they irritated me. Though Nick made me feel as though I owed him that dance, so I went as his date.

Why he asked me to the dance was unknown to me. Didn't he want to prove the rumors wrong? He sure as hell didn't act very sweetly about it.
The letter Alex gave me in History class was in my hands. I stared at the yellowing envelope, untouched by me although there were stains upon it. Stains from ash and blood. Stains from Nick.

Tears couldn't help but mist over my eyes. I didn't feel like reading the letter yet. I didn't want to carry the weight of Nick's death fully on my shoulders. I've done a good job keeping my composure all day, and I don't want to break it now. The sun lowered down to meet the lake, making it shine as dusk said its goodbyes to the sun.
A singular star brightly gleamed down toward me. A part of me wondered if that star was Nick.

Was he expecting me to open the letter? My fingers fiddled with the lip of the envelope as I prepared myself to read the worst of the worst...

"Dominick Kage asked you out?" Sequoia, my best friend since kindergarten, squealed and hugged me, wrapping her lanky arms around me while her ponytail bopped. After school on that Thursday afternoon, we went to her place; an apartment shared with her little sister and mother.

"That's amazing, Serenity! Ohh, I'm so, so happy for you!"
I squirmed in her grasp, internally groaning, "Well, I owe it to him."
She let go of me, raising an eyebrow as she tilted her head, "What do you mean?"

"His girlfriend left him cause' of the rumors that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't chose to go to the lake with him there," I groaned, placing my hands on my face.

Sequoia looked confused, "He had a girlfriend??"
"Yeah, Laura."

"The chick he dated and broke up with 3 times in a row last year?"
I nodded slowly.

She placed a hand on her hip, "They were bound to break up again."

I groaned again, "I still feel like it's my fault."
Sequoia frowned, "But it's not. So, don't worry about it. What you do need to worry about is... what are you going to wear?!"

"Just a hoodie and skirt?"

Sequoia glared at me, "Girl, you are going to a dance with the most popular guys in our grade. You gotta look like a little diamond by his side."
I only rolled my eyes, scoffing.

She stood up, heading to her closet, "Don't worry, Your bestie gotcha covered,"
She threw half her wardrobe toward my direction.

For a half hour, I tried on dresses and heels, seeing what ones would look best. Not much came from either of our lips, except my complains about dresses. Dresses were the bane of my existence. They were just too... girly. And I was too much of a tomboy.
But another two hours and I found my dress. It was a simple white sweater-dress that, although didn't go down below my knees, was still very comfortable. Throw on a black crop-top jacket and knee-high boots and it'll be the perfect outfit for me.

Sequoia clapped her hands with joy, as if reading my thoughts, "Oh it just suits you perfectly!!" She rushed up and pulled me into a hug, "I'm so excited for you."

"I wish I was excited for me too." Those words came out from my mouth against my own will. I couldn't help it. All of this felt forced on my part.
I mean, I felt I owed this to him, but it didn't mean I was going to like it.

Now I wished I had enjoyed it.

Sequoia set me down on her bed, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Hey, this isn't elementary school. Dominick is not a bad guy...sorta." She chuckled awkwardly, "Worst case scenario is Alex is going to judge you the whole time."

She was right; Alex did judge me. He also made me feel worthless, and like a slut as soon as I walked into the school gymnasium. But we aren't to that part yet.

I gave a soft smile, knowing already what she just said, "Yeah, I know.. I just— I can't trust him. And he hates my guts."

"But... he asked you out.?"

"Only to make his ex jealous."

It went silent. A silence I know too well.
"You know Serenity, he hurt them all because he himself was hurting too."

Once again, I smiled softly, "Yeah, I know."