The Outsiders- S. E. Hinton

Chapter 6

JOHNNY GAGGED AND I almost dropped my hot fudge sundae. "Cherry?" weboth said at the same time. "The Soc?""Yeah," Dally said. "She came over to the vacant lot the night Two-Bit wasjumped. Shepard and some of his outfit and us were hanging around there when shedrives up in her little ol' Sting Ray. That took a lot of nerve. Some of us was for jumpingher then and there, her bein' the dead kid's girl and all, but Two-Bit stopped us. Man, nexttime I want a broad I'll pick up my own kind.""Yeah," Johnny said slowly, and I wondered if, like me, he was rememberinganother voice, also tough and just deepened into manhood, saying: "Next time you want abroad, pick up your own kind..." It gave me the creeps.Dally was going on: "She said she felt that the whole mess was her fault, which itis, and that she'd keep up with what was comin' off with the Socs in the rumble andwould testify that the Socs were drunk and looking for a fight and that you fought back inself-defense." He gave a grim laugh. "That little gal sure does hate me. I offered to takeher over to The Dingo for a Coke and she said 'No, thank you' and told me where I couldgo in very polite terms."She was afraid of loving you, I thought. So Cherry Valance, the cheerleader,Bob's girl, the Soc, was trying to help us. No, it wasn't Cherry the Soc who was helpingus, it was Cherry the dreamer who watched sunsets and couldn't stand fights. It was hardto believe a Soc would help us, even a Soc that dug sunsets. Dally didn't notice. He hadforgotten about it already."Man, this place is out of it. What do they do for kicks around here, playcheckers?" Dally surveyed the scene without interest. "I ain't never been in the countrybefore. Have you two?"Johnny shook his head but I said, "Dad used to take us all huntin'. I've been in thecountry before. How'd you know about the church?""I got a cousin that lives around here somewheres. Tipped me off that it'd make atuff hide-out in case of something. Hey, Ponyboy, I heard you was the best shot in thefamily.""Yeah," I said. "Darry always got the most ducks, though. Him and Dad. Sodaand I goofed around too much, scared most of our game away." I couldn't tell Dally that Ihated to shoot things. He'd think I was soft."That was a good idea, I mean cuttin' your hair and bleachin' it. They printed yourdescriptions in the paper but you sure wouldn't fit 'em now."Johnny had been quietly finishing his fifth barbecue sandwich, but now heannounced: 'We're goin' back and turn ourselves in."It was Dally's turn to gag. Then he swore awhile. Then he turned to Johnny anddemanded: "What?""I said we're goin' back and turn ourselves in," Johnny repeated in a quiet voice. Iwas surprised but not shocked. I had thought about turning ourselves in lots of times, butapparently the whole idea was a jolt to Dallas."I got a good chance of bein' let off easy," Johnny said desperately, and I didn'tknow if it was Dally he was trying to convince or himself. "I ain't got no record with thefuzz and it was self-defense. Ponyboy and Cherry can testify to that. And I don't aim tostay in that church all my life."That was quite a speech for Johnny. His big black eyes grew bigger than ever atthe thought of going to the police station, for Johnny had a deathly fear of cops, but hewent on: "We won't tell that you helped us, Dally, and we'll give you back the gun andwhat's left of the money and say we hitchhiked back so you won't get into trouble.Okay?"Dally was chewing the corner of his ID card, which gave his age as twenty-one sohe could buy liquor. "You sure you want to go back? Us greasers get it worse thananyone else."Johnny nodded. "I'm sure. It ain't fair for Ponyboy to have to stay up in thatchurch with Darry and Soda worryin' about him all the time. I don't guess..."--- heswallowed and tried not to look eager--- "I don't guess my parents are worried about meor anything?""The boys are worried," Dally said in a matter-of-fact voice. "Two-Bit was goingto Texas to hunt for you.""My parents," Johnny repeated doggedly, "did they ask about me?""No," snapped Dally, "they didn't. Blast it, Johnny, what do they matter? Shoot,my old man don't give a hang whether I'm in jail or dead in a car wreck or drunk in thegutter. That don't bother me none."Johnny didn't say anything. But he stared at the dashboard with such hurtbewilderment that I could have bawled.Dally cussed under his breath and nearly tore out the transmission of the T-bird aswe roared out of the Dairy Queen. I felt sorry for Dally. He meant it when he said hedidn't care about his parents. But he and the rest of the gang knew Johnny cared and dideverything they could to make it up to him. I don't know what it was about Johnny---maybe that lost puppy look and those big scared eyes were what made everyone his bigbrother. But they couldn't, no matter how hard they tried, take the place of his parents. Ithought about it for a minute--- Darry and Sodapop were my bothers and I loved both ofthem, even if Darry did scare me; but not even Soda could take Mom and Dad's place.And they were my real brothers, not just sort of adopted ones. No wonder Johnny washurt because his parents didn't want him. Dally could take it--- Dally was of the breedthat could take anything, because he was hard and tough, and when he wasn't, he couldturn hard and tough. Johnny was a good fighter and could play it cool, but he wassensitive and that isn't a good way to be when you're a greaser."Blast it, Johnny," Dally growled as we flew along the red road, "why didn't youthink of turning yourself in five days ago? It would have saved a lot of trouble.""I was scared," Johnny said with conviction. "I still am." He ran his finger downone of his short black sideburns. "I guess we ruined our hair for nothing, Ponyboy.""I guess so." I was glad we were going back. I was sick of that church. I didn'tcare if I was bald.Dally was scowling, and from long and painful experience I knew better than totalk to him when his eyes were blazing like that. I'd likely as not get clobbered over thehead. That had happened before, just as it had happened to all the gang at one time oranother. We rarely fought among ourselves--- Darry was the unofficial leader, since hekept his head best, Soda and Steve had been best friends since grade school and neverfought, and Two-Bit was just too lazy to argue with anyone. Johnny kept his mouth shuttoo much to get into arguments, and nobody ever fought with Johnny. I kept my mouthshut; too. But Dally was a different matter. If something beefed him, he didn't keep quietabout it, and if you rubbed him the wrong way--- look out. Not even Darry wanted totangle with him. He was dangerous.Johnny just sat there and stared at his feet. He hated for any one of us to be mad athim. He looked awful sad. Dally glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. I looked outthe window."Johnny," Dally said in a a pleading, high voice, using a tone I had never heardfrom him before, "Johnny, I ain't mad at you. I just don't want you to get hurt. You don'tknow what a few months in jail can do to you. Oh, blast it, Johnny"--- he pushed hiswhite-blond hair back out of his eyes--- "you get hardened in jail. I don't want that to hap-pen to you. Like it happened to me..."I kept staring out the window at the rapidly passing scenery, but I felt my eyesgetting round. Dally never talked like that. Never. Dally didn't give a Yankee dime aboutanyone but himself, and he was cold and hard and mean. He never talked about his pastor being in jail that way--- if he talked about it at all, it was to brag. And I suddenlythought of Dally... in jail at the age of ten... Dally growing up in the streets..."Would you rather have me living in hide-outs for the rest of my life, always onthe run?" Johnny asked seriously.If Dally had said yes, Johnny would have gone back to the church withouthesitation. He figured Dally knew more than he did, and Dally's word was law. But henever heard Dally's answer, for we had reached the top of Jay Mountain and Dallysuddenly slammed on the brakes and stared. "Oh, glory!" he whispered. The church wason fire!"Let's go see what the deal is," I said, hopping out."What for?" Dally sounded irritated. "Get back in here before I beat your headin."I knew Dally would have to park the car and catch me before he could carry outhis threat, and Johnny was already out and following me, so I figured I was safe. Wecould hear him cussing us out, but he wasn't mad enough to come after us. There was acrowd at the front of the church, mostly little kids, and I wondered how they'd gottenthere so quickly. I tapped the nearest grownup. "What's going on?""Well, we don't know for sure," the man said with a good-natured grin. "We werehaving a school picnic up here and the first thing we knew, the place is burning up.Thank goodness this is a wet season and the old thing is worthless anyway." Then, to thekids, he shouted, "Stand back, children. The firemen will be coming soon.""I bet we started it," I said to Johnny. "We must have dropped a lighted cigaretteor something."About that time a lady came running up. "Jerry, some of the kids are missing.""They're probably around here somewhere. You can't tell with all this excitementwhere they might be.""No." She shook her head. "They've been missing for at least a half an hour. Ithought they were climbing the hill..."Then we all froze. Faintly, just faintly, you could hear someone yelling. And itsounded like it was coming from inside the church.The woman went white. "I told them not to play in the church... I told them..."She looked like she was going to start screaming, so Jerry shook her."I'll get them, don't worry!" I started at a dead run for the church, and the mancaught my arm. "I'll get them. You kids stay out!"I jerked loose and ran on. All I could think was: We started it. We started it. Westarted it!I wasn't about to go through that flaming door, so I slammed a big rock through awindow and pulled myself in. It was a wonder I didn't cut myself to death, now that Ithink about it."Hey, Ponyboy."I looked around, startled. I hadn't realized Johnny had been right behind me all theway. I took a deep breath, and started coughing. The smoke filled my eyes and theystarted watering. "Is that guy coming?"Johnny shook his head. "The window stopped him.""Too scared?""Naw..." Johnny gave me a grin. "Too fat"I couldn't laugh because I was scared I'd drown in the smoke. The roar andcrackling was getting louder, and Johnny shouted the next question."Where's the kids?""In the back, I guess," I hollered, and we started stumbling through the church. Ishould be scared, I thought with an odd detached feeling, but I'm not. The cinders andembers began falling on us, stinging and smarting like ants. Suddenly, in the red glowand the haze, I remembered wondering what it was like in a burning ember, and Ithought: Now I know, it's a red hell. Why aren't I scared?We pushed open the door to the back room and found four or five little kids,about eight years old or younger, huddled in a corner. One was screaming his head off,and Johnny yelled, "Shut up! We're goin' to get you out!" The kid looked surprised andquit hollering. I blinked myself--- Johnny wasn't behaving at all like his old self. Helooked over his shoulder and saw that the door was blocked by flames, then pushed openthe window and tossed out the nearest kid. I caught one quick look at his face; it was redmarked from falling embers and sweat streaked, but he grinned at me. He wasn't scaredeither. That was the only time I can think of when I saw him without that defeated,suspicious look in his eyes. He looked like he was having the time of his life.I picked up a kid, and he promptly bit me, but I leaned out, the window anddropped him as gently as I could, being in a hurry like that. A crowd was there by thattime. Dally was standing there, and when he saw me he screamed, "For Pete's sake, getouta there! That roofs gonna cave in any minute. Forget those blasted kids!"I didn't pay any attention, although pieces of the old roof were crashing down tooclose for comfort. I snatched up another kid, hoping he didn't bite, and dropped him with-out waiting to see if he landed okay or not. I was coughing so hard I could hardly standup, and I wished I had time to take off Dally's jacket. It was hot. We dropped the last ofthe kids out as the front of the church started to crumble. Johnny shoved me toward thewindow. "Get out!"I leaped out the window and heard timber crashing and the flames roaring rightbehind me. I staggered, almost falling, coughing and sobbing for breath. Then I heardJohnny scream, and as I turned to go back for him, Dally swore at me and clubbed meacross the back as hard as he could, and I went down into a peaceful darkness.WHEN I CAME TO, I was being bounced around, and I ached and smarted, andwondered dimly where I was. I tried to think but there was a high-pitched screaminggoing on, and I couldn't tell whether it was inside my head or out. Then I realized it was asiren. The fuzz, I thought dully. The cops have come for us. I tried to swallow a groanand wished wildly for Soda. Someone with a cold wet rag was gently sponging off myface, and a voice said, "I think he's coming around."I opened my eyes. It was dark. I'm moving, I thought. Are they taking me to jail?"Where...?" I said hoarsely, not able to get anything else out of my mouth. Mythroat was sore. I blinked at the stranger sitting beside me. But he wasn't a stranger... I'dseen him before..."Take it easy, kid. You're in an ambulance.""Where's Johnny?" I cried, frightened at being in this car with strangers. "AndDallas?""They're in the other ambulance, right behind us. Just calm down. You're going tobe okay. You just passed out""I didn't either," I said in the bored, tough voice we reserved for strangers andcops. "Dallas hit me. How come?""Because your back was in flames, that's why."I was surprised. "It was? Golly, I didn't feel it. It don't hurt.""We put it out before you got burned. That jacket saved you from a bad burning,maybe saved your life. You just keeled over from smoke inhalation and a little shock---of course, that slap on the back didn't help much."I remembered who he was then--- Jerry somebody-or-other who was too heavy toget in the window. He must be a school teacher, I thought. "Are you taking us to thepolice station?" I was still a little mixed up as to what was coming off."The police station?" It was his turn to be surprised. "What would we want to takeyou to the police station for? We're taking all three of you to the hospital."I let his first remark slide by. "Are Johnny and Dally all right?""Which one's which?""Johnny has black hair. Dally's the mean-looking one."He studied his wedding ring. Maybe he's thinking about his wife, I thought. Iwished he'd say something."We think the towheaded kid is going to be all right. He burned one arm prettybadly, though, trying to drag the other kid out the window. Johnny, well, I don't knowabout him. A piece of timber caught him across the back--- he might have a broken back,and he was burned pretty severely. He passed out before he got out the window. They'regiving him plasma now." He must have seen the look on my face because he hurriedlychanged the subject. "I swear, you three are the bravest kids I've seen in a long time. Firstyou and the black haired kid climbing in that window, and then the tough-looking kidgoing back in to save him. Mrs. O'Briant and I think you were sent straight from heaven.Or are you just professional heroes or something?"Sent from heaven? Had he gotten a good look at Dallas? "No, we're greasers," Isaid. I was too worried and scared to appreciate the fact that he was trying to be funny."You're what?""Greasers. You know, like hoods, JD's. Johnny is wanted for murder, and Dallashas a record with the fuzz a mile long.""Are you kidding me?" Jerry stared at me as if he thought I was still in shock orsomething."I am not. Take me to town and you'll find out pretty quick.""We're taking you to a hospital there anyway. The address card in your billfoldsaid that was where you lived. Your name's really Ponyboy?""Yeah. Even on my birth certificate. And don't bug me about it. Are..."--- I feltweak--- "are the little kids okay?""Just fine. A little frightened maybe. There were some short explosions right afteryou all got out. Sounded just exactly like gunfire."Gunfire. There went our gun. And Gone with the Wind. Were we sent fromheaven? I started to laugh weakly. I guess that guy knew how close to hysterics I reallywas, for he talked to me in a low soothing voice all the way to the hospital.I WAS SITTING in the waiting room, waiting to hear how Dally and Johnnywere. I had been checked over, and except for a few burns and a big bruise across myback, I was all right. I had watched them bring Dally and Johnny in on stretchers. Dally'seyes were closed, but when I spoke he had tried to grin and had told me that if I ever dida stupid thing like that again he'd beat the tar out of me. He was still swearing at me whenthey took him on in. Johnny was unconscious. I had been afraid to look at him, but I wasrelieved to see that his face wasn't burned. He just looked very pale and still and sort ofsick. I would have cried at the sight of him so still except I couldn't in front of people.Jerry Wood had stayed with me all the time. He kept thanking me for getting thekids out. He didn't seem to mind our being hoods. I told him the whole story--- startingwhen Dallas and Johnny and I had met at the corner of Pickett and Sutton. I left out thepart about the gun and our hitching a ride in the freight car. He was real nice about it andsaid that being heroes would help get us out of trouble, especially since it was self-defense and all.I was sitting there, smoking a cigarette, when Jerry came back in from making aphone call. He stared at me for a second. "You shouldn't be smoking."I was startled. "How come?" I looked at my cigarette. It looked okay to me. Ilooked around for a "No Smoking" sign and couldn't find one. "How come?""Why, uh," Jerry stammered, "uh, you're too young.""I am?" I had never thought about it. Everyone in our neighborhood, even thegirls, smoked. Except for Darry, who was too proud of his athletic health to risk acigarette, we had all started smoking at an early age. Johnny had been smoking since hewas nine; Steve started at eleven. So no one thought it unusual when I started. I was theweed-fiend in my family--- Soda smokes only to steady his nerves or when he wants tolook tough.Jerry simply sighed, then grinned. "There are some people here to see you. Claimto be your brothers or something."I leaped up and ran for the door, but it was already open and Soda had me in abear hug and was swinging me around. I was so glad to see him I could have bawled.Finally he set me down and looked at me. He pushed my hair back. "Oh, Ponyboy, yourhair... your tuff, tuff hair..."Then I saw Darry. He was leaning in the doorway, wearing his olive jeans andblack T-shirt. He was still tall, broad-shouldered Darry; but his fists were jammed in hispockets and his eyes were pleading. I simply looked at him. He swallowed and said in ahusky voice, "Ponyboy..."I let go of Soda and stood there for a minute. Darry didn't like me... he had drivenme away that night... he had hit me... Darry hollered at me all the time... he didn't give ahang about me.... Suddenly I realized, horrified, that Darry was crying. He didn't make asound, but tears were running down his cheeks. I hadn't seen him cry in years, not evenwhen Mom and Dad had been killed. (I remembered the funeral. I had sobbed in spite ofmyself; Soda had broken down and bawled like a baby; but Darry had only stood there,his fists in his pockets and that look on his face, the same helpless, pleading look that hewas wearing now.)In that second what Soda and Dally and Two-Bit had been trying to tell me camethrough. Darry did care about me, maybe as much as he cared about Soda, and becausehe cared he was trying too hard to make something of me. When he yelled "Pony, wherehave you been all this time?" he meant "Pony, you've scared me to death. Please becareful, because I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."Darry looked down and turned away silently. Suddenly I broke out of my daze."Darry!" I screamed, and the next thing I knew I had him around the waist andwas squeezing the daylights out of him."Darry," I said, "I'm sorry..."He was stroking my hair and I could hear the sobs racking him as he fought tokeep back the tears. "Oh, Pony, I thought we'd lost you... like we did Mom and Dad..."That was his silent fear then--- of losing another person he loved. I rememberedhow close he and Dad had been, and I wondered how I could ever have thought him hardand unfeeling. I listened to his heart pounding through his T-shirt and knew everythingwas going to be okay now. I had taken the long way around, but I was finally home. Tostay.