Saudade

Looking Back & Ahead

Some poems that I have written over the past few months

Meeting way back when

Though I wish I met thee sooner,
I'm glad you did not encounter me
You did not deserve me at my lowest
Not because I think you would not have cared
But because I think you would have loved too deeply
I'd have dragged you down to my depths of despair
I'd have been the Hades to your Persephone
The sun to your Icarus

Instead of wishing I knew thee earlier,
I wish to you know later
Let us speak in 10 years
Let our friendship stay strong and true
Let us see each other before the end
Watch the sun set and rise and pomegranates grow

Doll strings

I bore the face of a doll
The fragile porcelain kind
I was pampered and strung up
After all, dancing dolls make the best entertainers

Hair pulled back tightly and impeccable posture
Red lips with doe eyes
Clad in frills and curls
Dulcinea my dear falling star

I had strings as a marionette
A musical box ballerina

My dancing Victoria
My sweeping Cinderella

But how does the doll fair in darkness?
When none are around to see?
Cracked porcelain and failed cuts
Relaxed cheeks and temporary freedom

I was a doll on strings
But they gave me scissors and I cut

The porcelain broke and made way for iron
Pink lips with sharp eyes
Clad in light and laughter
I'm a marionette but my marionettist is dead

Pain in your bones

I know there is pain in your bones
That the pain frustrates and tires
And it's easier to lash out as a savage might

But be kind, please be kind
Be who you could become
Be who you need

Convert that pain into something good
Something sweet
Something happy
Be good

The pain will ease and you will carry it well
You will learn what to do with joy
Thy sadness shall no longer be a permanent guest

Let me be kind
Allow me to grow proud

Baptised in Salt

The storms had gathered the sand upon my shores
The ocean had turned shallow for a day
I ran for the horizon, thinking I might reach the other side
I stopped and looked back to the distant strip of land I left behind

So near, yet so so far
Maybe I could run until I saw the next continent
Yet I stood still,
The waves swaying me gently
A song of waves calming me

At the sound of my name I turned around,
I wilfully marched back to shore
A woman clad in white passed me on the way,
I saw her walk way past where I had been

The woman was never seen again
Though I heard her laugh around the fisherman's campfire
And the roses I retrieved from the ocean smelled of her
The stinging pain of salt, crabs, coral and fish felt as her lips
She tasted my blood and baptised me in salt
The woman twice drowned