Salvis Oneshots🧍

rock me🩹--->🌟

tw// self harm mention/minor description

disclaimer: sorry for the angst, needed to get some sillies out

Travis turned on the water to the bathtub, rolling up his sleeves as he stood from his knees. He looked down at his lover who sat on the closed toilet lid, his hands covering his forearms as his legs bounced. The blonde frowned, squatting down and gently placing his hands on his lover's knees.

"You ready to get undressed? I made sure to make it hot like you wanted." He said, gently brushing the loose blue strands behind his ear. Sal slowly nodded, waiting till Travis moved after before slipping off his shirt and then his boxers. He was quick to get in the water, bringing his knees up to his chest and arms hidden behind them. Travis' frown only deepened as he sat down on his knees. He rested on his arms, leaning on the side of the tub while the water filled the tub. The two sat in silence, but it was comfortable.

Once the water got high enough, Travis reached over and shut off the tap. He went back to his previous position, but this time brushed the back of his hand over Sal's pale cheek.

"How are you feeling? Did you want to relax or wash up right away?" He asked, giving the best smile he could muster. Sal only stared at the rippled water, his eyes swollen and lips puffy. He hated this, all of it. He stuffed his face in his knees, clenching his eyes shut.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, his voice cracking and faltering into a whisper. His shoulders twitched and legs tensed together, his caged in arms hugging his sides. Travis felt his own heart break. He had to admit, he wasn't experienced with such a thing. He knew that Sal struggled with this, even before they  became friends, but seeing them fresh and right in front of his face made him physically hurt.

"I'm so sorry, I don't mean to. I can't stop, I can't keep doing this, I'm so sorry." He rambled, his words laced with sobs. The blonde leaned up on his knees and brought the other into a hug, placing a hand in his hair and another on his waist. He held him tightly, but made sure not to hurt his arms.

"You don't need to be sorry, I'm not angry." Travis tried to reassure, but Sal shook his head against his chest.

"No, you don't get it. I can't keep being like this. I'm a fucking psycho freak, and I'm dragging you around with me." He continued, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. In reality, Travis didn't know how to reply to that. Sal has usually been closed off about his more intense feelings, so seeing him get riled up scared him.

"You're not a psycho freak, you never have been." Travis tried to convince, but was yet again rejected.

"I am a psycho. I literally see and hear things that aren't there. Is that not weird or creepy to you?" Sal asked genuinely, looking up at his lover.

"It doesn't scare me directly, but I'm scared for you." Travis said truthfully, gently cupping Sal's face. The bluenette leaned into his touch, his cheeks wet from tears.

"I keep doing this to myself and it's disgusting. I don't want to do this to you." Sal said, his voice trembling once more as his lip quivered. Travis couldn't help the sympathetic expression on his face as he leaned down and kissed his boyfriend's forehead.

"You aren't doing anything to me. This is about you being safe, and that's all I want." He reassured, bringing Sal's head back to his chest. Sal held onto him tightly, trying his best to not look at the fresh red lines scattered all over his arms. He hadn't done this in a while, and was finally close to a whole year clean, but one bad day sent it all hurdling. He felt humiliated when Travis came home to find him napping in his bed with a messy bandage job, and even more when he couldn't get him to stop apologizing for leaving him all alone. It obviously wasn't Travis' fault, but he definitely felt so.

"How about I wash you up, hm? It'll feel better to get clean." Travis suggested, and Sal gave a shy nod. The blonde reached over and grabbed the shampoo bottle, beginning the washing routine. He left the questions out of the equation, seeing as he didn't want to stress out his lover anymore than he already was.

"I'm schizophrenic." Sal blurted out, and Travis froze his movements. He hesitantly lowered his hands into the water to wash off the soap and sat flat on his butt to be more level with the bluenette.

"You're what? I-I promise I'm not an idiot, I just don't want to get anything wrong." Travis defended with a faint blush of shame. Sal flashed a quick smile before he fell once more, and he sunk his arms into the hot water.

"When I say that I see and hear things that aren't there, that's why. That's why I can't be in the dark by myself for too long or why my night terrors affect me so badly." The boy explained, and Travis paid attention to every detail. He nodded slowly, registering all the new information. He's heard of it before, or at least he thinks he had. There was so much stigma around it that he would've never guessed Sal suffered from it, but then again, that's why it's called stigma and not facts.

"Do you know why that happens?" He asked, brushing more hair behind his boyfriend's ear so he can properly see his face. Sal slowly nodded, fidgeting with his nail beds under the water.

"My psychiatrist says it's because of my mom dying, and the me-seeing-the-whole-thing thing." He said, motioning to his face with a sad smile. Travis frowned, nodding slowly. He felt bad for making him bring up such a thing, but he wanted to know more so he could learn how to best support him. He wasn't good in the mental aspect of any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic, so he wanted to improve if it meant protecting Sal.

"Do you see things when I'm with you?" Travis asked, earning a hum in response.

"It doesn't really matter whether someone's with me, it can still happen. It's worse when I'm alone though." Sal explained, seeming to relax and get more comfortable with talking. This made Travis smile; despite such a hard subject, he was still able to bring some kind of comfort. Despite his openness, Sal wasn't planning on explaining anything else. It was such a complicated and graphic thing that he could barely talk to his therapist about it.

"Thank you for telling me this, I really appreciate it." Travis said with a soft smile, taking Sal's damp hand and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

"How about we finish getting you washed up and play some games? You can show me that Resident Evil thing you like so much." Travis proposed, and Sal instantly piped up.

"Oh fuck yeah! I already know that you'll think Leon is hot, he's a classic." He insisted, and Travis huffed with a strong blush on his cheeks. Despite being more out about his sexuality, he still got so embarrassed when he found men attractive. It felt so awkward to admit that he's gay in the first place, so even playful banter felt off.

"Thank you." Sal said, bringing Travis out of his not-so-slick thoughts. He raised a brow, but quickly gathered what he meant.

"You don't need to thank me, I love you, and no one's forcing me to do this." Travis shrugged, softly holding Sal's face before giving his lips a peck.

notes: this is short, but i got some sillies out so we're good