PTSD Pt.2

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PTSD pt.2
8/16/22
Chapa's POV

I fix my headphones and turn on a new song as I'm walking to SWAG. It's been a few days after the whole Twitler kidnapping and my mental health has gotten worse than ever. The crew found me a little later that night and there was no trouble getting me out, but the memories have been keeping me awake.

Flashback

"I never thought about that..."

"I know it's a lot of stuff to take in," Twitler says sitting across from me on the wall, "But think about how happier you would be if Danger Force didn't exist."

I grit my teeth and get my emotions in check, "If Danger Force didn't exist then I'll still be obsessed with finding my damn phone and traveling from town to town. I have every reason in the world to thank them."

"But this team also completely traumatized y-"

BANG!

The distant sound sends me into a scream of bloody murder and tears stream down my face in panic. I struggle in the shackles trying anything to escape their grasp. Twitler jumps up just in time and tries to make a run for it.

"Get away from her Twitler!"

Captain Man runs in and punches the cyborg unconscious, the others follow close by holding him down.

"What did he do to you sweetie?" Ray crouches down next to me wiping the wet, smeared makeup from my face. "It's going to be okay." He fiddles with the shackle key he had in his pocket until they pop off. Once they are off he pulls me into a hug, "It's gonna be okay, he can't hurt you anymore." I open my mouth to speak, but my voice is encased in sobs. Ray pulls me up to my feet.

"Come on, you are going to be locked up for a long time." Miles says, picking up the handcuffed cyborg. Twitler looks at me and mouths something out.

'Tell them. Open up. Get help.'

*End of flashback*

I make it to SWAG and sit down at my red desk, not making any noise. The others are all talking to each other, not noticing I came in. The usual feeling of darkness wrapping my thoughts forces a sigh out of me. Another tiring day ahead. I close my eyes, the music encasing me in comfort.

"Chapa." I feel a vibration of taps on my desk, "Sit up and take off your headphones, we're about to start."

"No Ray, soon, there's a good song on now."

"Chapa. Headphones. Now."

"I'll do the worksheet, just let me listen to my music please."

"Chapa De Silva! Now!" Ray pulls my headphones off, "You can have these at the end of the lesson."

I sit up and start sparking, but I immediately regret it. "Sorry." I mutter, sitting back down.

BANG

I jump in my seat and look behind me. But there's nothing there. I turn back around, and I see everyone staring at me with confused faces. 

(A little time later because I have no ideas.)

The lesson is over and I snatch my headphones off the podium and put them on. Everyone is packing up their stuff and putting it in their bag. I really want to go home, but it's only 11 and we don't leave till 5. We still have too many missions to tackle.

BANG

I hear a high pitched scream behind me and I immediately drop my books and sprint out of the room down the hall. I run until I feel safe and collapse in the middle of the hall. My breathing is fast and trembly. My face is wet with tears. I try my hardest to grab my headphones on my head but there's nothing there. They came off. Shit. I can't control this. My hands start to shake as the memories flood my mind. I cover my ears trying to make the sounds stop.

"Baby girl are you okay? What's going on?" I recognize Schwoz's hand stroking my hair. The short man pulls me into a hug. "Did something happen?"

I just stayed there crying in his arms. "I need to tell you guys something, all of you."

Schwoz pulls away, nodding, and helps me up. "Do you need a little time or-"

"Mhm." I nod, "Can you get everyone into the Man's Nest? I'll be right up."

Shit what the hell did I just do?

(A few minutes later)

I peek into the room and take a deep breath. I've been stalling in the hall for 10 minutes now. I can't believe I said that. I can't open up to them. What would they think? I'm in too deep now though. I take another deep breath and walk into the room.

"Hey guys." I murmur, "Thanks for coming here."

"Hey Chapa!" Mika says, "Is everything alright? You kind of bolted out of there when I dropped my backpack on Bose's foot. Are you okay?"

The last sentence makes me choke up a bit. I just nod, biting my tongue. Schwoz hands me my red headphones I dropped in SWAG. "Thank you." I mouth.

"Chapa, is everything okay? You haven't been yourself lately." Bose says.

I swallow the rising sobs, "Th-that's actually what I wanted to talk about-" My voice breaks and sobs rush out of me. Ray guides me next to him on the couch and pulls me into a hug. Everyone surrounds me giving me comforting words. I slowly fight back the tears enough to make my English understandable.

"Chapa, what's going on?" Ray says, "Tell us, we're here for you."

"Umm... well... I-I, don't know. There- there have been these sounds, from missions and shit, and they make me so, so scared... they've been in my head too and I just can't seem to stop them. I can't stop the bad memories from coming up and I can't take it anymore. I've been having all these nightmares and I haven't been able to sleep for weeks and crime fighting is just unbearable and-" Tears start to stream down my face again and Bose on the other side of me pulls me into a hug.

"Shhh Sparky it'll be okay. You're safe. We got you."

I feel a  big hand on my arm, gently stroking it, "Thank you for telling us Chapa, that means a lot, I know that's hard. I had no idea you were feeling this way. I am so sorry you are going through this."

"Henry had it too." I heard Schwoz mutter, "He used to be so scared and always would get panic attacks from it. He didn't want to tell anyone. The only way I knew was I walked in on one of his PTSD episodes. They weren't as bad as yours as he was already placed into therapy, but I could see it in him still."

"Chapa," Mika said, "Crime fighting is hard, but I never expected it to hurt you this much. Please understand that we will always be here, we want you to get better."

"Look Sparky, we want you to feel safe and comfortable. I don't want to force anything on you, so you have the option, if you're not up to it at the time you don't have to come on missions. Your mental health comes first. We are going to help you through this." Ray puts on the headphones and wraps his arm around me.

"Thank you, you guys are the best." I whisper as we watch a very quiet Genuine Moments.

Hey wonderful human beings.
This is ass but I tried. Hope you liked it.

Stay safe and strong,
Raven

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