Cardan and Jude

Letters.

Dearest Jude,

I'm sorry. I understand what I did was awful but I hope this letter finds you well and you can see that there was a reason behind my actions and behavior. I cannot disclose any information here in case this message is intercepted but could you meet with me at the border between Faerie and the human's world at midnight? It does not matter which night, I will be there. I must talk to you.

affectionately,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

It's been so long since you left, I think I'm going mad. Nothing is the same without you. Much as I hated you for always directing me and stopping me from drinking at revels, I miss the tender moments between us; when you laugh at my foolishness or the look you sometimes get in your eyes when it's just us. Why won't you come to the border? I have been there every night since my last letter, hoping that you will come and I can explain everything. It's still not safe for any information to be written down here, especially by my hand. I hope you understand.

all my love,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

Jude, I need you. It's painful to think of how I lived without you so long ago - even more painful to think of how you're gone now, by my doing no less. I still truly believe I made the right decision in your banishment, if only you could see it through my eyes. Are you going to make me beg, Jude? I will do so without hesitation. 

my deepest devotion,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

I know these letters are becoming more frequent, but how else will I get through to you the importance of your meeting me at the border? How long has it been since we last spoke in person? Too long. Of course I can understand why you may never want to see me again, I hurt you deeply. And again, I cannot stress that my actions were committed with good intentions in mind. Please see me. I miss the locks of your hair, the way they flutter in the wind on summer evenings, when you walk through the palace gardens or practice your duelling. I miss seeing you march, determined, through those double doors come council and take the place you've earned and deserve beside me. I miss watching you stand up for yourself, or direct those around you easily. I miss seeing you in armor. I miss your scheming and your reluctant acceptance that you need to sleep. I miss the way you hold me. 

always in my heart,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

I can't take this anymore, being without you is like no physical pain I've ever experienced. You are all I think about constantly. I keep backstepping, returning to my cycle of regret and remorse and then self-reassurance that you're safe where I've forced you. If only you would come to the border, I beg you, my darling. I'm still there every night.

I am forever yours, sweet Jude,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

Everything is going so wrong, your absence is like a constant ache - I can't reiterate enough how much it hurts me. I'm so sorry my love.

always,

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

Your sister frequents the palace almost daily, I almost never see her with Locke; though he's here quite often too. She's very far along in her pregnancy now. If you can bring yourself to read these, I'll let you know when she gives birth and how she's getting on. Taryn is unbelievably angry with me, I must tell you - She's threatened to duel me if she weren't eight months pregnant. I haven't tried to explain why I banished you; unfortunately your sister is much less understanding than you - in this aspect you could not differ more. Sometimes I mistake her for you when I spot her at the end of a hall and become unreasonably enlivened, thinking you have returned. But of course, her hair is around her shoulders, and she does not have the same fiery disposition as you, dearest Jude.

with purest love, 

Cardan

Dearest Jude,

This may be my last letter. I love you deeply.

yours always,

Cardan