Black Lion Academy

Black Lion Academy (5)

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BLA 5

“Take that!” A ball of slush went sailing through the air. “And that!” There went number twenty two. “And that! And that! And that!” And there goes numbers twenty three, twenty four, and twenty five. My arm was starting to get really sore, but I so was not going to surrender to that big lump of stupid.

“You so missed me! Maybe my mom can teach you how to aim better, since yours is too stupid.” Nathan stuck his head over the back of the couch and stuck his tongue out at me before ducking quickly as number twenty six went sailing out of my hand. It passed through the space where his head had just been and splashed onto the lamp shade – the beige one that now resembled a fruit and veggie salad.

As I had predicted earlier, once the food was cooked and placed in my lap, I'd been quick to gobble up my steak and had just finished as the first grain of rice hit my cheek. It had been followed by a drop of gravy on his nose, a splotch of cabbage in my eye, and a handful of pumpkin in his mouth. After than we had just started throwing and he'd ran away to duck behind the couch. I enjoyed the feeling of superiority that washed through me at seeing him running away with his monkey tail between his legs; until a swarm of mielies rained down on my face. Who knew they could cause so much pain?

I was now standing behind the pillar of the kitchenette with an egg-lift in one hand and a bowl of green salad in the other. Nathan had long run out of food, obviously being too dumb to have any foresight. He'd since resorted to passing insults.

“Man, your momma has less brains than the toe jam between my mommas toes.” I couldn't resist telling a 'yo momma' joke. I thought they were the funniest jokes ever.

“Oh yeah, well yo momma so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved!” I burst out laughing and clutched my stomach. That was a good one, but I bet I knew more than he does.

“Well Yo momma so dumb she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!”

“Well lookey here, you're also watching the couch.”

“I got it from yo mamma.”

“You got everything from my momma, except a brain capacity.”

“Yeah, and you might as well not exist since you got nothing at all.”

“Actually, I do have something... eyes. Which is why i'm this far away from you.”

“Oh please, couch humper, you wish you could touch this.”

“No I don't.” He scoffed.

“Either way, you can't touch this! Da na na na, na na, na na, can't touch this...” I started sliding around the kitchen, singing the song by Vanilla Ice. Nathan burst out laughing from behind the kitchen. I heard a loud thump as he rolled right off the couch and landed on his behind. I went silent, walked on over, pointed my finger, and laughed. He got up scowling and crossed his arms over his chest.

“It's not funny.” He stated.

“It is quite hilarious actually.” I spoke quickly and carried on laughing at him. He stomped his foot and walked over to my bed, throwing himself over it and shutting his eyes. I stopped laughing and dashed over to stand next to the bed, glaring down at his face. This was so not on.

“Hey! That is my bed, thank you very much. Get off before your germs rub off on the sheets.” I punctuated the last words with a slap to his forehead.