Ignis Amare

Flickering Flame

I separate my lips from Aiden's as I retreat a few steps without breaking my gaze into his dark eyes. Being with him is intoxicating, it's like I don't know who I am but at the same time I do. I was in survival mode for so long that I forgot that it isn't me. I can't explain why or how I love him, I just know I do.

I feel a tinge of guilt in my heart and turn away as I remember him. Liam, the one I left. He was always trying to save me, even if it meant destroying himself in the process. I loved him for it, and I still do.

Staring at the ground forces me to replay this insane day I've had with Aiden. I thought he wanted to save me too, and so I tried to run from him. I realize now he doesn't want to save me at all. He sees me in a way no one else has, including Liam. He just wants to be with me. It's not possession or selfishness. It's something else, I don't even know what it is. I'm so unfamiliar with everything I'm feeling and hearing from him.

"You said you could teach me how to control my flame," I say, turning back to him. "Show me."

He smiles at me, saying, "All you need to do is accept yourself. It's a part of you. It is you. It's special in that way but that's about it. You just have to believe in yourself and know what you want to do. You haven't been fighting the flame. You've been fighting yourself."

I close my eyes.

It's a little irritating that he's right. However,  I've never felt more seen. What is it that I want to do? For so long, I just wanted to be alone. Being alone was always safe, but now I'm facing someone that gives me that same safe feeling.

When he saw my flame, he called it beautiful. I want to see myself through his eyes. I want to see myself as beautiful.

There's usually an unimaginable pressure threatening to break out of me when I've used this flame before, but this time, at that thought, it flows gently and peacefully. I can feel my hair shifting into flames. It's as if the flame agrees with the thought.

I open my eyes to see Aiden smiling at me.

"You smile at me a lot? Why?" I playfully demand.

"How could I not? You're just beautiful, I can't help it." He adds a shrug to his smile.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I respond, rolling my eyes.

He pauses in thought.

"Do you... say that to all the girls?" A black lightning bolt flashes to drive home the irritation in my voice. I'm genuinely surprised by it, but he doesn't need to know that.

"I've never smiled at anyone the way I smile at you. You aren't the first woman I've called beautiful, but it means so much more when I say it to you."

"Oh? What more does it mean?" That something else flashes across his face quickly at my words, but I still notice it.

"There is no part of you that I don't want, I don't ever want to be separated from you."

He admits with an intensity that washes over my entire being. It takes everything I have not to tear into him with the desire he's awoken in me.

I cross the distance between us in a flash, willing my flame to my right hand, stopping short of cupping his face.

"What are you keeping from me? What is that something else you said that with?"

He doesn't flinch at all. Instead, his eyes dare me to continue with my touch.

"Do you not know when someone longs for you? A longing that defies all reason and logic? I thought I told you already. I love you."