Bloodshed (Skk)

18- monster.

( chuuya)

"what..?" I think i could take a guess on who saved me, but why? 

"Chuuya, I'm sorry. I took it too far. Please, just don't do that again. " My suspicions were correct as I heard the voice of the brunette that I love so much. Why..Why would he save me? "Chuuya, listen to me. Please. I love you, so why would you do this? All our memories, are you going to let them waste away?"

"then why is it that all you ever do when you talk about me, you just make commentary on the smallest of things and make fun of my flaws? Why do you do it? Tell me, if you love me so much, why do you never just say something good about me? Why do you just tell people I am worthless? You never loved me, you were messing around with me until you got bored! So why do you care now?! I shouldn't have joined the mafia if this is what it brought me. I have became weak. Love made me weak, You made me weak." I just started shouting out all of the things that i never wanted to believe. He looked sad..good. I don't need him. Who am i fooling, I may not have needed him before, but now, his presence is as important as eating or drinking. His touch is like a goddamn drug. its addicting. and yet here I am, saying I hate him. I can't. 

"Listen, okay? I shouldn't have done tha-" He was halfway through his sentence before I cut him off.

"Shut up. You aren't sorry, are you? You do this all the time. But you know what? I'm not falling for it again. Never. You are not going to fool me again. Do you actually love me at all? No. You don't." Just shut up, you are making it worse! Stop speaking, Chuuya! Dammit!

"I do, and I'm sorry. I really am. But please, Chuuya. What you are doing is insane. Seriously? You were seriously going to kill yourself over me? That's just stupid."  He is probably lying. Ignore it.

"It's not just you, Dazai. It's everyone. They all treat me like I'm worthless. They treat me as if I'm inhuman. Maybe it's because I am. I'm not a human, so why should they treat me like one?" Or not, either is fine.

" They should treat you like one because you are one, Chuuya. You have feelings, you show anger, sadness and that's what makes you human. That is exactly what they should be treating you like, a human. And if they ever do it again, I will make sure to have a little chat with them. Right?" No he wont. 

"Dazai-" I tried speaking, but he was the one to cut me off this time.

"Save it. We are going back. And this time, we are going to do it right. Now lets go, love." He grabbed me by the wrist with a serious face. I hated this. I hated him. 

"No." I quickly replied, not budging from my position, with my eyes looking down to the floor and my head hung low. 

"What?" He seemed sort of..angry? I dont know how to put it. But it put a feeling of dread deep into my stomach.

" I said no, Dazai." I continued with my act, he doesn't scare me! Who am I fooling..I'm petrified as to what he will do. He seems more controlling now, and it scared me. 

" Chuuya. Come on, please. I don't want you to get hurt. And I dont want to have to use a little force to get you back." What the fuck? Who does he think he is? Why is he acting like this all of a sudden??? What the hell has gotten into him!

" Just..go away. Dont expect me to be at work for the next few days." By now I was on the verge of tears. Why the fuck am I showing weakness? Stop! 

"But where will you sleep? You Are gonna catch a cold if you stay outside for too long you know." I could practically feel his cold glare on me, and a smirk plastered onto his face. 

"Just fuck off already, what has gotten into you??!! You clearly are not the Dazai I love! Now, I'm sure that I can find a place to stay for a few weeks. Go away!" Before I knew it, I looked him in the eyes with tears streaming down my face and slapped him with all the strength I had. His head fell to his side with the same timing as my hand and that was when I knew I really fucked up. He looked back towards me with fury visible in his eyes. My face switched instantly from anger to fear and the feeling of dread only got worse. 

He grabbed my arm again with alot more force, dragging me along. I tried wiggling out of his grip and I was shouting and screaming for hi to let go, but his grasp on my arm only got stronger. What was he going to do to me!? 

" Get the fuck off of me!? Are you insane!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs. By now my arm was being twisted around, and tears were flowing down my face. It was uncontrollable now. "Let me go you idiot! What is wrong with you!" I continued shouting at him, trying to get my arm out of his grip. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was already on the floor.

He threw me off of him. I was inches away from the edge of the cliff. 

Panic rised in me as he glared at me with disgust. What the hell did I do?! My eyes widened, and Dazai then looked behind him, before turning back around and walking away. Well, ofcourse he wouldnt leave without getting what he wants, so before walking away entirely, he grabbed me by my choker and walked away. 

We were getting near the bottom of the hill until I saw someone.

Dazai? But, Dazai is here, with me? Why is there two of him?