Before I Die || Dnf Fanfiction

{~Chapter fifteen~}

TW:
- HOSPITAL
- MEMORY LOST

GEORGE POV:

My head hurts… Why did my head hurt?
I want to sit up, or move in general but I can’t get the strength.
Somewhere, I can hear someone talk. But it sounds miles away and under water.
I try to open my eyes, which I can do. But the light immediately hurts my eyes and I close them again.
The voices I heard were clearer now, though.
“Did you see that Punz?! He moved! He must be waking up! George, can you hear me?”
I knew that voice. I couldn’t remember who it belonged to. But that voice made me want to keep going. It made me happy.
But my brain started to feel fuzzy.
No! I didn’t want to fall into the darkness of sleep again…
But soon I lost consciousness again.
The next time I woke up, I felt much better. My head didn’t hurt as much as before and I felt like I could control my muscles again.
Slowly I opened my eyes. The light still hurt my eyes, but it hurt a little less.
I tried to sit up, but that was too difficult for me. But a hand grabbed my hand.
“George, you are awake.”
By my bedside is a boy with blond hair and the most beautiful green eyes. His voice sounds familiar, but I don’t know where I know him from.
“D-do I know you?” I say softly. And the pain on the boy’s face tells me that I should know him.
“G-George, it’s me. I am Dream. Do you remember me?” He asked and I slowly shook my head. The name doesn’t ring a bell at the moment.
“D-do you really not remember me? I am your boyfriend. We have been in a relationship for a few months now. We had to hide it from Sapnap and Punz, because they weren’t too happy about it.” He said.
And suddenly it all came back. Meeting Dream, Sapnap and Punz bullying me, my friends from England coming over, the cliffs…. the fall….
“D-Dream?”
“George, you remember it now?” Dream asked.
I nod softly. “I am sorry for worrying you. I am sorry for everything. I am so so-”
“Hey, no need for apologizing. I should apologize for not seeing how bad you were feeling and for not helping you more. I should have stepped up against Sapnap and Punz long before. T-they also want to apologize, I believe. If you are ready for that of course.”
“Could you help me sit up?” I asked.
“I don’t know if you are allowed to sit up yet.” Dream said.
“Just help me, and when the nurses ask, I just sat up by myself.” I say.
Dream rolled his eyes, but helped me to sit up. Now I could actually look around the room.
I was in a private room in the hospital. There was some unused medical equipment that probably had been used for me at some point.
There was a knock on the door. “Dream, can we come in?” Sapnap’s, I think it was Sapnap at least, voice sounded from the other side of the door.
Dream looked at me, asking if I was okay with it.
I motioned that I only wanted one in the room.
“Only you or Punz.” Dream said back.
“Why?” Sapnap asked back, and he sounded a bit bitter.
“George is awake, and he only wants one of you.”
It was silent for a bit and then the door opened and Punz entered the room.
Immediately I looked away.
“George, how are you feeling?” Punz asked as he stood next to Dream.
“I-I am okay I think. I just still feel a bit weak.” I replied.
Punz looked uneasy. Like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how.
“I want to apologize, George. I should have realized sooner that my behavior was not okay and that I was hurting you and others. It’s just that I really wanted to be the bad boy and the sports guy. So Sap and I thought bullying was part of that. Which it is not, and I realize that now. I-I didn’t know it would drive you to co- To this… I didn’t know it would drive you to do this. I hope you can forgive us.”
I look at Punz and he gives me a soft smile, his eyes were telling me he was really sorry.
“T-thanks. I will need time to feel safe around you two, but I am willing to try over. As long as Dream is there.” I say.
“Sapnap also wants to talk with you, but your friends from England are also here. So, I don’t know who you want to talk to first.” Punz said.
“My friends from England? Who are here?”
“Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo. At least that’s what I heard.” Dream said.
“Let them in please.”
Punz left the room to get them. The three boys walk in.
“Hi George and Dream!” One of them says way too loud.
“Tommy, don’t be so loud. We’re in a hospital.” Wilbur says.
“How are you doing? Are you feeling a bit better?” Tubbo asks, while he walks up to me.
Slowly I nod. “I’m okay, I guess. Feeling weak.”
“Dream called us and told us what happened.” Wilbur said. “We were scared we had lost you.”
“I am so sorry for worrying you guys. I am okay now.” I say.
“Please don’t apologize for that. We are just glad that you are alive.” Wilbur said.
“We were all at Will’s place when he got called about what happened. Will got so worried and Tubbo cried. I didn’t because I am very strong. I don’t cry.” Tommy said. But I noticed in his behavior that something was wrong.
After a bit more talking with the others, I asked if they could leave the room for a bit. Only Tommy could stay.
Dream looked at me with worry in his eyes.
“I will be fine, Dream. I promise.” I said calmly.
Dream still looked like he didn’t want to leave me alone, but he eventually left the room.
I looked at Tommy.
“I can see that there is something bothering you. What is up?” I ask.
And slowly, I see Tommy let down his strong persona. He starts to cry.
“I thought we had lost you.” He spoke, while crying. “I thought I would never get to say that I was sorry for that moment at the party. I.. I thought that was the reason you killed yourself.”
I looked at Tommy. Did he really think, I was that mad at him? That I tried to kill myself because of him interrupting my moment with Dream?
Tommy tried to wipe his tears away.
“Tommy, come over here. You need a hug.” I said, and slowly Tommy walked up to my bed and gave me a hug.
“Tommy, I am still here. You didn’t lose me. I will not go anywhere.” I said. “And I am not mad at you for that. In the moment, I might have been. But that was not my reason for doing this. In fact, you interrupting that moment might actually have been the reason Dream and I got together. Because the day after we talked and that is when our relationship officially started.” I explained.
Tommy pulls back from the hug a bit and wipes at his eyes with his sleeve. “Really?”
“Yeah, I promise you.” I say. “You don’t have to pretend to be all strong and happy all the time. That will break you, Tommy. Please tell Wilbur that it really hit you what happened to me. He can help you, and otherwise he knows other people that can help you.”
Tommy nodded.
“Promise you will tell him? Otherwise, I’ll tell him the second I am allowed out of this bed.” I threatened light-heartedly.
Tommy smiled softly. “I will, I promise gogy.”
I laugh. “If I was allowed out of this bed, I would have chased you out of the room for that.”
Tommy laughed and walked towards the door.
“Oh, Tommy.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you tell Sapnap that I am ready to talk to him. If he is still there of course.” I said.
“I will.” Tommy said and then he walked out of the door. Immediately, Dream came back in and I smiled at him.
“I am still doing okay. Don’t worry so much.” I say.
“I am just still scared.” Dream said.

After a little while, Sapnap walked into the room.
“Tommy told me you wanted to talk to me. Is that right?” He said carefully.
“Yeah, you still wanted to apologize, right? Punz told me you wanted to at least.” I said, a bit unsure.
Dream immediately took a step closer to my bedside and he looked ready to fight Sapnap out the door.
But Sapnap looked at Dream. “D-do you mind if I talk to George alone?”
“I am staying he-”
“Dream, leave us alone. I will be fine. I promise.” I said and Dream looked at me.
“But, he..”
“It will be fine, Dream.” I said again.
Dream left again.
“He just constantly sticks by my side.” I say with a laugh.
Sapnap looks a little more concerned.
“Has he ever told you why?”
Slowly I shake my head.
“D-do you want to know it though? I mean, it is about you. And it’s not a good part of the story.” Sapnap said carefully.
“Tell me. I want to know.”
“George, while you were in a coma, I think it was a day after the accident, you suddenly declined. Like, all of the sudden your heartbeat dropped to dangerously low. We had to drag Dream out of the room, because the doctors had to work on you. But he is just really scared that you will suddenly decline again.” Sapnap explained.
Oh… That had not been what I expected. Dream thought he was going to lose me again, everytime he left my side.
Sapnap sighed. “Now I made you panic again. Sorry… I should… I just want to apologize for everything I did. I should have known better, and I should have known that it would push you this far.”
“I mean, yeah. But why should you specifically know that? Because you make it sound like you alone should have known.” I asked confused.
Sapnap sighed and looked at the ground. “Because I was once at the same point as you were. But I was too scared to actually do it…”
“What? S-sapnap, are you okay?”
“Y-yeah, it’s long ago now. My family wasn’t too nice to me and Dream helped me through. He became my best friend and I didn’t want to lose him, because he was the reason I stayed alive. Then we went to university and we met Punz. I started to hang more with Punz, because Punz was what I wanted to be. Someone with a lot of confidence. But then you came along and for some dumb reason you felt like a threat from the start. And then Dream started to hang out more with you, and it felt like I was losing my friend that saved me. So, I started to act meaner to you in the hope that you would leave. Not realizing that it would push you to the end of your line.”
“Sapnap, I am so sorry. If I knew that, I would have told you that I w-”
“George, don’t apologize. It’s just a miscommunication and I should have been the bigger person and I should have just talked to you instead of bullying you. I just hope we can try to be friends from now on. You are welcome at our place any time, as soon as you are out of hospital.”
I smile. “Thanks Sapnap. I appreciate it. And I really want to become friends with you as well.”
There was a knock on the door and we both turned towards the door.
“Probably Dream.” Sapnap whispered.
“He can come in.” I say.
“Alright. But please don’t tell him about me wanting to, you know… He doesn’t know about that. He just thought I wasn’t feeling too well, because my parents were shit. He doesn’t know of me wanting to off myself.” Sapnap said.
“I won’t. But please tell him eventually.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Can you let in Dream now, before he gets even more stressed?” I asked.
“Of course.”
Sapnap opened the door and almost immediately Dream was by my side again, asking if I was okay.
“I am fine, Dream. I won’t suddenly leave you again.”
Dream looked at me and then at Sapnap who just laughed sheepishly.
I softly took Dream’s hand and placed it on my chest where my heart was. “See, it’s still beating. So, I am still here. I will be okay.”