Red-Headed Bisexual Awakenings Make Apocalypses Much More Enjoyable

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Warnings: none???????

Word count: 1k

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The landscape wasn't much different from the prison Bill had me in. I made the decision to maintain my optimism as I ducked into alleyways and crouched beneath benches. At least I had my mother's ethereal spirit to watch over me.

After sprinting into the deserted mall to narrowly miss an eye bat, I took a moment to collect myself. When my stomach began to rumble, I decided that I would go further into the shopping center in an effort to find food.

As I walked past the emo shop, I noticed a dish of nachos that was idle. I tilted my head. "I have a feeling this is a trap." I made the decision to ignore the alluring plate and carry on walking.

When I was about fifty feet away from the obvious trap, I heard the familiar scream of a particular twelve year old boy. With my ghost mother trailing behind me, I abruptly turned around and ran in the direction of the sound. "Dipper!" I yelled as I noticed the boy being strung up by a rope.

I knew those nachos were a ruse.

"Vickie! Hi!" He waved cheerfully, appearing a little dizzy from all the blood flowing to his brain. Someone emerged from the darkness and moved closer to the boy.

I shifted into a defensive position, my eyes widening. "Dipper, watch out!" I yell. I sprint over to the cloaked person and bring them to the ground. I pinned them while giving Dipper a quick glance to make sure he's okay.

"Get off, Vickie," I heard the figure say.

I whirled around to face them again. "Wendy?" I instantly got off of her out of embarrassment. "Sorry, I was a bit paranoid..." I look at her with a guilty grin, hoping she won't become upset.

She had black paint under her eyes and her green flannel tied around her waist. I'd be lying if I said she didn't look amazing.

"Nah, it's okay. I understand, given the circumstances," she stated vaguely. I nodded in understanding. "But man! That was quite the tackle. You should try out for the football team." She smiled, complimenting me.

My face started to get red as a result. "Well, I... I'll think about it." If there is a football team after all of this...

"You should seriously consider it," she grinned, fixing her hair a little.

"Can I have a little help here?" Dipper yelled. Oh shit! I had forgotten all about him. Wendy and I proceeded to help him down while repeatedly apologizing. He finally reached the ground, but the vertigo nearly caused him to trip.

My mother drifted over to me. "Wendy seems like a nice girl." I almost lost sight of the fact that I'm the only one who can see or hear her as I flushed. I didn't respond to her and I don't think she expected me to.

"Anyway, we should head to my bunker." Wendy signaled for us to accompany her inside the emo shop. Choker chains, MCR band shirts, black nail polish, and other accessories for people like my partner, Robbie, were among the items we passed. "This is where I've been camping. All that time spent in apocalypse training with my family paid off." She smiled, but then her face fell. "I hope they're alright..."

"They will be..." Dipper assures her, "We're going to find a way to beat Bill... Somehow."

"We should find Stan..." I grimace, wondering where he could even be.

"No, we need to find Mabel first," Dipper sighs. That's true. Plus, my mom said she couldn't find her.

"Where would she be?" I asked.

"Hmm... I'm not sure." Dipper shrugged.

"Let's go to the roof. See what we can find from above." Wendy offered, hopping up. She aided us in getting up and directed us to the location of the roof access.

The sky was the same fiery red as before, ripples of purple moving across the clouds. In addition to the air burning my lungs, buildings were on fire. Weird monsters went wild through the town, trying to consume a bike rack while giggling uncontrollably.

While looking off in the distance, Dipper examined the town. "Something tells me..." He points toward the cliff where there was a gigantic, churning bubble with a shooting star insignia on it. "That she is in there."

"Woah. How'd you know that?" I asked, a bit curious.

"Yeah, do you have twin telepathy or something?" Wendy questioned, leaning in.

Dipper shakes his head no. "No but sometimes our allergies act up at the same time." He follows that with an apparent point-making sneeze. A beat passes and then, "Let's go get my sister."

~

On our way to the bubble, we avoid being killed by monsters that might try to attack us. We travel to Bud Gleeful's former auto dealership to look at potential targets for stealing. "I learned excellent automobile theft techniques from Stan. I think he really wanted me to try and steal Toby Determined's fancy car at some point." I shrugged.

I bumped against a sleek red car to check for an alarm. Nothing was triggered as a result. Perfect! I scanned the parking lot and discovered a rock. I grab it, slam it against the window, then use my sleeve to sweep the glass pieces away.

I unlocked the door by yanking the latch from within and took the wheel, giving me complete access to everything. Then I remove a few cables by prying apart a box under the steering wheel. I select a handful and press them together until an electric surge occurs as a result of their reaction.

The car rumbled. "Ha, there." I grinned proudly.

"Woah, that's amazing." Wendy gave me a pat on the back and exclaimed about how awesome I was.

"Hey! Look at those groundwalkers!" The ground shook as someone laughed.

My eyes widened. "What the fuck?" I yelled, then saw that Dipper was standing right there. I embarrassedly put my hand over my mouth. "Sorry, man." I expressed my regret to my young cousin.

Before he could respond, we heard the familiar country voice of an annoying prick who's supposed to be in jail. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Dipper and Victoria Pines. Hello, Wendy. I don't think we've formally met."

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A/N: okay, so like. i googled how to steal a car. i'm sorry nsa agent for my weird google searches. it's for my story, i swear. i can't even drive yet!

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