Obsessive Love Disorder

12

CW: sexual content

October 1, 1996
Charlotte

I can feel my face heating up rapidly, the absolute embarrassment of my confession settling in my stomach. I can't believe I just admitted that to him. I can't believe I told him I liked him. Sure, it was two years ago, but with my feelings for him coming back... I feel so stupid. I know from that distant look on his face that he's going to turn tail and run. I don't care if Stu said that Billy likes me, I don't believe him anymore. All I know is I just ruined the one sort-of solid friendship I've ever had in my life.

I stare at him, both of us unmoving. I can feel my heart freeze in my chest as I watch his eyes dart behind me, probably to figure out some sort of escape route. This is horrible... I wish I could just die on the spot.

"Billy...? I'm sorr-"

And his lips are suddenly on mine.

The kiss ends at quickly as it began, Billy leaning back with concern in his eyes. "Was... that okay?" He whispers, the atmosphere suddenly feeling very intimate.

I stutter, looking anywhere but at him. "Y-You..."

"Did I just fuck everything up?" He asks, running his fingers through his hair with obvious frustration. "I'm really sorry, Charlotte, I just... I like you a lot."

"You... do?"

He lets out a breathy laugh and drops his hand, his cheeks going slightly pink. "Was that kiss not evidence enough for you?"

I feel my shoulders fall, the tension from my humiliation dissipating in mere seconds as I glance down at his lips, just inches away from mine.

"Do it again."

"Wha-?"

"Do it again. Please."

Billy's eyebrows shoot up, but he quickly covers his surprise up with his signature expression of smoothness. Slowly, as if he's afraid to touch me, his hand reaches up to my shoulder and snakes up toward the atlas of my neck, his fingers pressed slightly against my skin. I feel my heart speed up, an extreme change from the frozen feeling I had felt before. Time goes unbelievably slow as his face draws closer to mine, his eyes never leaving mine. The anticipation is fucking killing me.

"Where?"

"...What?"

Billy brushes some hair out of my face and scans my features, a playful smile growing on him. "Where do you want me to kiss you?"

I stutter again. "I-I... um... my lips?"

He nods once, and before I know it, his lips brush against mine once again. This time, though, he goes much slower, savoring each time we connect. His hand, still on my neck, tugs me forward just enough to make me have to catch myself from falling forward, resulting in my own hands pressed against his chest. He lets out a small groan when I touch him.

"Where else?"

"I... don't know."

Billy shrugs and scans my features again, eventually settling on my forehead. Delicately, he reaches up and plants a small kiss there. I can feel him smiling against me as he does, as well as his breath as he whispers. "Is this okay?"

I nod, too afraid that my awkwardness will come out in jumbled words and ruin the moment. He smiles and moves to my cheek, pressing another kiss against my flushed face. "More?"

I nod again.

Suddenly, he ducks his head down and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I barely even register what's happening until I feel him softly sucking on the space near my jugular. I gasp and instinctually wrap my arms further around him, to which I hear him laugh in between kisses. His hands roam further downward, grasping my waist with just enough force to make me feel immovable. I can feel my heart racing even faster now, but even as he leaves marks and makes me flustered, I manage to move my shaking hands into his hair and run my fingers through it the same way he does whenever he's feeling frustrated or sheepish. Again, he groans, the sound vibrating deep within my body.