The Wizard's Guide to Timelords and Other Demons Book 1: The Forgotten War

Dumbledore's TARDIS

The inside walls of the Hospital Wing had lost their charm over two hours ago as far as Captain Jack was concerned. So also did the cots, the tables, the chairs, the bedpans, and everything else he had found himself staring at in an attempt to keep his mind engaged. Even watching the bizarre, shriveled, little creatures that occasionally popped in, pushing around carts full of pastries and other hyperglycemic delights, was no longer sufficient to push back the tide of boredom that threatened to plunge him into catatonia. The earlier antics of the cranky little frog lady had been a welcome diversion for a time, but she had been released an hour ago to return to whatever it was that cranky frog ladies did at eleven o'clock at night.

The head Healer, Madam Pomfrey, had cleared Jack for release ages ago it seemed, but had asked him to remain in the hospital until the headmaster could come to fetch him, promising Jack that the Doctor he was searching for would likely be accompanying him. She had been annoyingly tight-lipped about the details of where he was and why there were so many strange things going on around him. The cranky lady—Dolores, was it? —had mentioned something about the Minister of Magic and some guy named Fudge. He really had no idea what that was all about, though he was becoming rather intrigued by everyone's apparent preoccupation with confections.

Why am I concerning myself with their eating habits? Jack scolded himself. I am so bored!

All at once Jack's fears of being consigned to an eternity of ennui vanished as he heard a familiar voice shouting from the hospital entrance behind him.

"Captain Jack! How are you?"

It was the Doctor coming to rescue him. Striding alongside him was an old man with a seriously overachieving patch of facial hair, sporting a drab, gray robe. You have got to be kidding, thought Jack as he sized up the old man. I certainly hope I don't have to wear one of those to be in style here.

"Doing great Doctor, now that you're finally here!" Jack replied. The Doctor easily recognized this as being both a warm salutation as well as a rebuke for making Captain Jack wait so long.

Madam Pomfrey walked over and joined the two men as they approached Jack sitting on the edge of his hospital bed. The old man stretched out his hand and Jack immediately stood up and shook it.

"Good evening Mr. Hartmann, by name is Albus Dumbledore."

"Very happy to meet you Mr. Dumbledore." Jack replied with a wide grin.

"It's Harkness, not Hartman," the Doctor corrected, "Jack Harkness".

"My apologies, Mr. Harkness. I'm afraid I was..."

"Oh, that would be my fault Professor." Madam Pomfrey interrupted.

"It's really not a problem," Jack intervened with an even bigger smile on his face. Then he started laying on the charm. "In fact, I'd be more than happy to go by whatever name you like if it will win me the favor of this lovely lady who has been taking such great care of me."

Madam Pomfrey blushed. "Oh, stop it, Jack!"

"Yes, stop it, Jack!" the Doctor echoed, sounding more like an order than a request.

Jack's eyes followed as the blushing healer turned about and briskly walked away, her head lowered and her hand covering her mouth in embarrassment. Dumbledore looked quite perplexed, having never seen his head healer behave in this manner.

"I'm so sorry about that Professor," the Doctor said, glaring at Jack with a scowl, "Captain Jack tends to do that to people."

"Me? What did I do?" Jack objected.