Crescent Acres (Steve Rogers AU)

22

Steve

I've been doing ok since the break up. At least I'd like to think I have.

It's nice to be able to do my own thing, get on with jobs without having someone constantly breathing down my neck about taking my pills, or telling me I shouldn't be riding the horses for fear of falling off. Even Mom has calmed down in her ways.

Even though Darby is gone, I still feel some content - but I'll never have it fully. It's clear to me that she doesn't want to talk about what happened.

"You're looking different today?" Bucky notes as we work on the tractor. One of the wheels needs replacing and it's always a two man job to do so.

I look up from where I'm working on wheel. "I do?"

"Yeah". He says, passing me the wrench. "You just seem...I dunno, happier".

I nod. "I mean, I'd be lying if I said I was, but I'm doing good..."

"You heard from her?" Bucky now asks the million dollar question, sounding a little uncomfortable. He knows the subject is a little raw. I couldn't exactly hide the truth about what happened from him. As my best friend, he could see how cut up I was.

"Nope". I say, working a little harder so as he can't see how Darby is still getting to me. "But I don't blame her".

Bucky continues to the pass down the tools I need. "So that's it? You're just giving up on her?"

I pause mid turn of the bolt I'm unscrewing and contemplate for a moment. "Mom said she'd be back, but if she felt the same then she would have come by now". Now I look up at him again. "I guess now I just have to let her go..."

Bucky looks at me with some pity, not that I need it. It was kind of my fault that this has happened. "Last time I checked the Steve Rogers I knew wasn't the kind of guy to run from a fight".

"It's not a fight..."

"For love it is - now I know I can talk, sure Nat and I have only been together for a couple of months, but when you want something so badly? You don't give up. Take the ranch - you didn't give up on that when your dad died? So why give up on Darby?"

I sigh. "Because I love her - that's the only thing I can say", then getting back to the task at hand.

He drops the subject after that, knowing that anymore pressure to talk about Darby will just send me back into the shell I've been hiding in for so long. My mind is now turning to the expansion and other jobs that need doing before we open for low season next year. Work never stops, and I need that to keep me occupied.

Mom catches me later that evening as I'm about to head back to my cabin. "Steve, could you go to the point and check I ain't left my damn reading glasses up there. I can't find 'em and I was sure they were there when I was up there this afternoon".

"Sure thing Mom, you've checked the house?" I ask, not wanting to waste a journey to the point if she finds they're down the side of the sofa or something.

"Turned the place upside down. Can't find them".

I nod, "I'll go take a look and along the route as well".

She gives me a light kiss on my cheek. "You sure you're alright kid?"

"I will be". I tell her honestly.

"Go on, get your ass up there before the sun sets and you can't see a damn thing". Giving me a little nudge to leave. "Hell knows I probably won't be able to if I don't get these glasses back".

I chuckle and head off to the point to hunt her glasses down, reflecting to myself about everything all the way up there.

As I get up the to area, I stop suddenly - seeing someone standing looking out at the view.

No.

That can't be...

"Darby?"

On hearing her name, she turns and her face changes as her eyes and mine meet.

"Hi..." She breathes.

My feet begin to quicken my pace to her and before I know it, there she is right in front of me. Her eyes are trying to hold back some tears that I can see are threatening to fall. "I'm sorry". Is all she can manage before one salt water droplet slides down her cheek.

I shake my head and then silence her with a kiss that she melts into.

I pull away and brush some more tears from her. "Mom said you'd come back..."

She swallows. "Yeah...wants me to help with the barn renovation". The pausing. "Steve I..."

"Let me talk, please..." I say quickly. "Look Darbs, I know what happened wasn't the best way of doing things, but I'm gonna say this now, and if you don't feel the same or anything? I won't be disappointed. But you've gotta know that the moment I saw you when we were kids? I fell for you so hard that I haven't even been able to get back up again".
I have to get this all outta my system. If she rejects me then I will happily take it knowing that she knows how I feel, and how I never gave up on her. "Darbs I love you, I haven't stopped. The reason why I put off everything was because I didn't wanna do it with anyone else. Just you".

She nods. "Just as well I feel the same way - I loved you since that summer, and like you I never stopped. I don't ever want to stop, but I'm so scared that if we just jump into things then we'll screw everything up. If we do this? Maybe we should take things slow..."

I caress her cheek. "Darbs, I'll take anything as long as I have you by the end of it".

Her smile radiates more than the sun that is setting behind us right now. "Well I'm not going anywhere Rogers". Now leaning up and kissing me gently.

"I hope not, coz I've needed you more than I thought I did".

She is the only one who can get me out of the mindset I've had since dad died.

She is the only one who can finally make me feel that second lease of life that I've been telling myself that I don't deserve.

She is and always will be the only one.