Crescent Acres (Steve Rogers AU)

20

Steve

"You're quiet?" Sharon notes as we drive back from the airport the next afternoon.

I spent most of the journey there rehearsing what I'm going to say to her once we're home. I just need to do this and then a ten tonne weight will be lifted from me once and for all.

"Sorry, just tired". I lie and feel my hands grip the wheel a little tighter. Only last night did I notice the crescent shaped nail marks on my back where Darby had dug her nails in, some of them drawing blood.

And it stung.

Not just the marks, but the fact she's gone.

It's like she left those just to punish me, but I've been punishing myself for a long time now. The pain that still insists on being here just serves as that reminder.

I guess I deserve it, no one can say anything to change my mind on that.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you work yourself too hard. You don't want to be at risk of..."

"Sharon" my voice cuts through the air that is turning a little suffocating for my liking. "Please, it's been a long day - I don't need the lecture". I sound defeated right now - probably because I've heard this all before.

She lets it go, sitting back in her seat and tapping away on her phone as I listen to the radio.

"All I wanna do is have some fun, I gotta feeling I'm not the only one"

Darby's song...she loved this. It summed her up that summer. She wanted to have fun and we did. Now my lip curls into a slight smile as I think about her, eyes on the road. She had an extensive cassette collection - music was a part of her. It defined her and probably still does.

"Did Darby go home yesterday?" Sharon now asks, not looking up from her phone.

"Yep". I reply and don't explain anymore.

She frowns and out of the corner of her eye now looks at me. "Did you guys have a good time?" She presses irritably. "Jeez you are cranky today".

"Probably because I'm tired". I retort through gritted teeth. "Look, I'm sorry. Things have been busy and I've got a lot on my mind".

"Yeah, when have you not?" She sighs, "I've just missed you that's all - being away gave me a chance to think".

"About?"

"About us? Steve, I love you and maybe we should really consider taking the next step considering we've been together for years".

I still keep my eyes on the road, knuckles now turned white with just how hard I'm gripping the wheel. "That step being marriage". I state the obvious because I knew that she was bound to bring it up properly at some point.

She turned her body in her seat a little more to face me. "We should really talk about it - I mean, I don't know about you? But I kinda think that..."

I stop her. "We'll talk about it when we're back", and then quickly look at her. "I promise we will, ok?"

Giving me a smile she nods and returns to scrolling through her phone, but what I wanna talk about is not what she's going to be expecting, or ready for.