FATIMA (YOU series #2)

Chapter 16

             Healing doesn't mean forgetting.

- j.b

 Fatima

For someone so self-destructive, it was a miracle I made it to this point. I tried my best to avoid feeling. Unfortunately, my emotions are things I am better off not acknowledging. I buried my desire to be erased from this world deep inside me. 

I longed to return to a place where my young mind failed to recognise what was happening to me. Those were my last peaceful days, when storm clouds weren't plaguing my mind. Instead, I now walk around with a fake smile and thousands of unanswered questions.

I thought I was at peace with my situation, but deep down, I knew I was lying to myself. I thought the pain would go away when I got there. My mind would become lighter, and I would be freed from all evil thoughts.  

But that wasn't the case. Instead, my chest felt tight, and my palms were clammy. I paced around my humid bathroom In an attempt to calm my nerves. My head was in disarray, and I didn't understand why. 

"You should be happy," I kept chanting in my head. But my heart would not oblige. It kept beating rapidly, and my feet wouldn't stop moving. My ears drowned out any noise that wasn't the anxious voice in my head. 

I could hear faint banging on the door but ignored it. I knew Juju would have alerted my mother by now, hoping she could lure me out. I didn't know how long I had been here or how long I had till I had to leave. 

Everything finally sunk in as my boxes were hauled out of my room. Eventually, reality hit me like a ton of bricks to a glass wall. I had treated this like a game this entire time, even when there were hundreds of people drowning me in congratulations.

I snapped out of my thoughts as my phone crashed unto the floor from the counter I had placed it on. It was buzzing, indicating an incoming phone call. I glanced at the name on the screen before returning it to the counter. 

I was in no state to hold a conversation with him. I grabbed a fistful of hair and tugged on it as I staggered. I felt lightheaded, and my body yearned to be connected with the ground. I let go as my vision blurred into a dark abyss of temporary bliss. 

Ibrahim 

I walked as fast as my legs could carry me into the busy house tailing behind Ammi. She leads the way to her mother's side of the house, which is significantly less rowdy. I spotted her mother rushing down the stairs as we reached the foyer.

"I don't know how this happened or why it did. But she was fine until this morning," her mother said as Ammi held her hands.

"Try and relax. I'm sure she'll be fine," Ammi soothed. 

"Can I see her?" I asked. 

She gave me a crooked smile, "of course, you're her husband now. First door by your right."

I returned the smile and headed up the stairs. Arriving at the door, I slowly creaked the door open and walked in. I noticed her friend sitting beside her on the bed, and her expression fell as we made eye contact. 

As I advanced inside, she rose from the bed and said to her, "I'll be outside if you need anything." She then quickly excused herself without a word to me. 

I moved closer and took in her appearance. Her face was void of colour, and her hair looked wild as if she had been caught in a tornado.  

She stared at me as I did so, "I know I look crazy, but you don't have to stare."

I smiled, "glad to see you didn't forget how to speak."

"Glad to see you gained a sense of humour," she retorts.

"Are you saying I'm not funny?" I asked.

"I'm not saying you are," she replied. 

I laugh at our banter. Let's keep this up for the rest of our marriage. 

"You scared me," I say, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she responds, fiddling with her fingers.

"Why would you apologise for fainting?" I ask.

She breaks eye contact and looks down at her hands, "I'm not talking about that."

"I said something horrible to you yesterday. I didn't mean it," she blurts. 

I suppress a chuckle as I reminisce about last night, "I know you didn't. And I already forgave you."

"Oh," she says in a small voice. 

I study her expression. Had it weighed on her that bad? "Is that what made you nervous, or is there something else?"

She's still not looking at me. She was purposely avoiding my probing eyes. 

"No. It was trying to calm my nerves in the bathroom, but it was too humid," she answers.  

She was lying. Her body language gave her away. But I decided not to question her any further. She would open up when she was ready. 

"Should I tell them to cancel the event?" I asked, fearing she might not be up for it. 

She shook her head, "Your aunts worked hard on it. I don't want their hard work to go to waste."

I stood up and took her hand, "Are you sure? If you aren't feeling well, you shouldn't force yourself."

She gives me a reassuring nod. 

"Alright, I guess I'll see you later," I say, kissing her forehead. Colour invaded her face as she blushed a deep red. 

I exited the room with a smile on my face. I loved the effect I had on her. 

Fatima

What the hell just happened? And why was I blushing like an idiot? I ripped the covers off me and rushed to my mirror. I looked like a tomato! 

"Stop," I yelled, rubbing my face desperately.

"Glad to see you active," Safina says, walking in with Juju. 

Juju narrowed her eyes at me and smirked, "If you're done being smitten, let's start with your hair and make-up. 

I flashed her my middle finger, but she ignored me and ushered the glam team in. It took three hours for the hell to end. I have never been keen on someone else touching my hair. 

"Let's get you into your dress. Forty minutes until show time," Safina yells, helping an assistant pull the dress from the garment bag.

They helped me into the dress and began working on tying the fabric that fell from the back into a big bow. Out of all the dresses I had worn, this was the most gorgeous one. It was a white straight-fitted dress with long sleeves and a high neck.  

A bejewelled structure adorned the dress from the torso to the chest area. Apart from that and the gems on the sleeves, the dress was plain. It was a simple design that had been exquisitely done to fit me like a second skin. 

I added two diamond clips to my hair, pulled into a low bun, and topped it off with simple diamond studs and rings. The look was simple yet breathtaking. 

"It's hard to pull off an over-the-top look but even harder to pull off a simple one. But you do it so easily," Juju says.

I smile at her, "Thank you guys so much."

"Don't thank us. You deserve this," Safina says. 

I pull them both into a hug. 

"As much as I hate to break up this heartwarming moment. It's time to go," Mama says, walking in.

"We'll be down in a minute," I respond. 

I slip on a pair of silver aquazzura heels and grab my Jimmy Choo clutch. I thank the glam team before heading downstairs. First, I take a few solo pictures, then some with my mom, juju and Safina. My extended family requested I take some with them, but Juju dragged me out, saying I needed to get to the event venue.