A Shriveling Flower

𝑋𝑉𝐼𝐼

Lily sat on the bed looking at herself through the long mirror that stood opposite of the bed. She was staring and nothing and everything, particularly at her swollen kinda reddish knee.

Her eyes trailed upwards towards her skin that looks paler than ever. Her dark eye bags and her noticeable weight loss that made no sense when she's been eating enough.

Sadness and depression hit Lily in waves , each wave bigger and stronger and more intense than the previous one. She couldn't do this today ... pretending.

She couldn't pretend that she was okay. She couldn't pretend to be the strong, unbothered girl. She couldn't pretend that her life was happy and perfect.

She couldn't do it ... not today.

Lily's birthday was in ten days, January the tenth.

Yes, today was new years eve.

Although she should be happy and excited that she's turning sixteen, she couldn't bring herself to do so. She was dreading that day for so many reasons.

One of them is that she'll have to reveal her darkest secret to Jason. The stranger boy she accidentally met, the boy that became her everything in such a short time.

The boy whom she fell head over heels for. Who made her feel loved and cared about like no one ever did. Sure her parents loved her and cared about her, they're the best parents she could ever ask for.

But that kind of love is different. She was their daughter after all , they would love her no matter what. That's the type of love and care they're obligated to give.

She is talking about romantic love. The love when someone loves you even after seeing all your flaws and imperfections. The love where he could have chosen anyone in this wide world, but he chose you.

You out of all people.

He picked you to be his everything. He loved you unconditionally despite all your flaws. He saw your imperfections as perfect and decided you're the one he wants to spend his life with.

That kind of pure love that everyone looks for.

But how would she tell him? It will break him.

It's already breaking her...

How would he react? Will he hate her, push her away, shout at her or leave her? So many theories, so many possibilities ,so many scenarios... That's what scared her.

Seeing the look of rejection in Jason's eyes.

Lily never got attached to anyone and she could care less about your opinion towards her. She didn't need anyone's validation and if people wanted to leave, she'd wave them goodbye.

But when it comes to Jason... she feels sick to her stomach just by the idea of him leaving her and being a stranger again.

She'd rather die.

Lily sarcastically laughed at herself and stood up from the bed going downstairs. She didn't bother changing or even washing her face, her mood was bad and her emotions were all over the place.

Her parents left a short while ago to do some much needed grocery shopping. They offered her to join, but she's not in the mood to do anything today.