The Whispers of Shadows - A&A One Shots

spiraling pt. 1

Only within a few months of her new life, Aurora clung to the joy of family and friends desperately. Having never had a gentle home, she never allowed herself to feel the suffocating consequences of her past. She only focused on the good.

It took just over a year for the pain to come back. The glory of love and family faded into the background as the darkness came forward. It wasn't the comforting darkness that came from her mate, but the endless pool of despair that swallowed her whole in the oily sensation; it felt as though her skin never came clean. Azriel and Rhysand both pulled her from that hole again and again, but she always fell back in.

It happened again, only four years from her salvation. Though, this time, the oil was lit aflame. Aurora didn't only feel like every food tasted like ashes and the only comfort was her bed in a dark room. This time, rage settled deep in her bones. She snarled at everyone, threatened a duel over the slightest of complications. Azriel tried to take her wine when he decided she was far too drunken, and she threatened him at the point of a dagger.

Cassian appeased her anger with a bloody fight daily, but he always limped away with a stab wound early on. Aurora didn't only take it out on the general, but Mor and Nesta, too. They were the only ones willing to fight back when her voice changed to threat. Now, two months into the newest spiral, everyone seemed to avoid her.

Aurora didn't mind. She'd prefer to be alone, even without Azriel. Deep down, she held pity for the Shadowsinger who only wanted to see her smile again, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his pleas for just one gentle touch.

Buried beneath blankets, an empty bottle of wine clutched in her fist, Aurora finally slept. It had been three nights since the last time her brain was silent, and now it had been nearly twelve hours. Her eyes peeled apart at the sense of the blanket being tugged from her head.

"Aurora."

Azriel spoke from above, his knuckles brushing her cheekbone. She growled, dropping the wine bottle and blindly reaching for the blanket. Azriel caught her wrist, making her eyes snap to his and her lip curling back.

"Let go of me, I'm tired," Aurora snapped, tugging against his grip. Azriel's jaw tightened.

"No. You've been asleep all day, and Rhys and Feyre invited us to dinner. You didn't join the last four times. You're coming tonight, go bathe and get dressed."

His voice left no room for argument. It was no longer the gentle voice of a concerned lover, but the voice she recognized when he was working. Her eye twitched as she held his gaze, hand relaxing in his grip. Aurora knew she'd never win this argument. Naked in bed or not, if she didn't dress herself, Azriel would drag her to the estate as she was.

Aurora cursed, tearing her arm from his grip and shoving the blanket from her feet. Azriel stepped back as she stood and marched to the bathing chamber, kicking the door shut behind her. It had been days since she bathed and the thought alone was exhausting. For a sliver of a moment, she wished Azriel wasn't so angry with her so that she could feel him washing her hair.

With another curse, the shower was turned on. The water burned against her skin as she stepped beneath the stream, but Aurora welcomed it. She hasn't trained in a little over a week, so her muscles were aching from lack of movement. Aurora's body and mind begged to curl up against the cool tile and let the water envelope her, but through the frosted glass windows of the bathing room door, Azriel's blurry outline was visible. If she spent too long in here, he'd come in and force her to get out and dress herself.

After too long of scrubbing suds into her hair and feeling them run down her spine, Aurora turned the shower off and climbed out. It was irrational to be so angry. Azriel had done nothing but wish she'd leave the bed or spend time speaking to him, but still, seeing his outline through the door, she gritted her teeth and roughly dried herself with a towel.