Second Boys Will Be First Choice (A Brallon Fanfic)

Was That A Jogger or My Mental Stability?

After a while I just lay down on the concrete. I don't notice the headache anymore over my heartache.

"...it's not like I'm going to put my tongue back in it."

"Why do I let him say things like that to me?"I think, "if he really loved me he wouldn't have..." I shove that thought out of my head. I stare at the shrub on the other side of my yard. It's dead. In between two shrubs that are alive.

"I'm the dead one, between them both."

I close my eyes.

I feel my leg buzzing and I pull my phone out, the call goes to message. The thirty fifth message. I don't read who called, I just call.

"Brendon?! Is that you?" It's Dallon.

"I don't know who else would be calling, I live alone."

"You weren't answering your phone... I just got so worried I..."

"I didn't kill myself, I was taking a nap. You know you and Zack don't need to freak out every time I don't answer the phone. I don't have dogs or a wife to feed anymore so chances are I'm sleeping. There's no point in calling thirty million times, if you're so worried come see me. Oh wait I forgot you still have a family." I hang the phone up and close my eyes again. My heart aches even more now that I think about what I just said. I make myself go back to sleep, still on the concrete, convincing myself it was a dream.

...

I wake up again. My heads pounding. I look at the sky, the sky is dark purple. I pick my phone up off the ground. 4:13. I groan and watch the dark clouds smash together into deformed blobs and separate again.

"Dallon" I choke out.

"...remember you still have a family" I remember "oh my god what did I do?"

I forget it's almost five am and call him.

"Hel...lo"

"Dallon." I breathe

"Brendon?"

"Yeah"

"What's wrong?!"

"I'm sorry."

"It's 4:30 in the morning, can you be sorry tomorrow?"

"I forgot...I'm sorry...I didn't even think...I'm so stupid...go back to bed I'm sorry..."

"Brendon, do you want to go to lunch tomorrow? Just the two of us..?"

"Yeah I'd like that...I can't drive..."

"That's okay I'll pick you up at 12:15ish, okay?"

"Yeah sure."

"Okay, goodnight Brendon."

" I love y..." I stop myself short and choke on the last two letters

"I love you too Brendon." he hangs up.

I remember when we said "I'm in love with you." I finally claw my way into the house and into bed, still fully clothed.

I wake up, at a human time for once. I put on deodorant under the same shirt. I slouch to the kitchen and dump out coffee from yesterday that smells almost stale as I do. I make fresh coffee and sit down at the breakfast bar. I look into the mug and watch the currents of coffee go counterclockwise while the cream goes clockwise as they both swirl into each other, like they're hugging. I release I was asleep again because I jump when the doorbell rings.

"Shit I haven't even brushed my teeth."

I sprint to the door and slip on the carpet, falling on my face. "Shit." I get up and throw the door open without seeing who's there first. "Dal...oh" my words catch in my throat. "Ryan?"