Second Boys Will Be First Choice (A Brallon Fanfic)

You Cursed Me To Sing This Song

I stare up at the bunk above me for a minute and then I think of Spencer and roll out of bed, stubbing my toe on the bottom bunk.

"Fuck" I wince and look around frantically "Dallon?" I shout down the hall, my anxieties rising.

"Brendon?" He looks down the hall at me from this kitchen, eyes half closed with sleep in the corners.

"Thank god." I nearly run down the hall, throwing myself into the mercy of his embrace. He holds me tightly until he shifts uncomfortably out of the hug.

"Brendon you smell terrible." He says softly.

"I'm glad you're okay." I say, dodging his comment on purpose.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He raises his eyebrow, his eyes still foggy with sleep.

"Just a nightmare." I sigh.

"Tell me about it."

"Every bad thing, all at once. My whole life turning to ash like a wildfire had just run it over."

"I think you've been kind of stressed lately." He pulls me into his arms again despite his previous comment. "Maybe you should smoke less."

"I'm going to shower." I pull away, disregarding his comment again.

The water rushes around me, striping me of the smoke and the bile. I take a deep breath "One more show, then Sarah. No more tension. Maybe something will change between him and I." I turn off the water and dry off as quickly as I can. I put on the first t-shirt I find. a Beatles t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. Everything feels dirty, wiping away any work the shower had done. I stumble back down the hall to the kitchen.

"So that's Ryan Ros..." Kenny's voice stops short and everyone breaks apart as I walk into the room. I take another deep breath before speaking.

"Yeah that's Ryan." Zack walks over and put's his hand on my shoulder.

"Hey listen Brendon, I'm sorry he got in, I tried to get him out before you got to the bus."

"Zack, it's okay, I was going to see him again someday, I just wasn't ready, but I am now so if he shows up again..."

"I'll punch him in the face." Dan butts in. I laugh, but Dallon looks me in the eye, knowing there's no sincerity there.

"Well hey! It's the last show we need to go out with a bang." I force the subject to change, being unable to bear another moment thinking about Ryan.

"We going for the Queen cover tonight? Kenny says excitedly.

"It's no-ow or never" I belt out in an Elvis-y tone.

"Alright guys, lets head to sound-check." Zack rolls his eyes.

After

It's one thing, when you mess up a lyric, it's another thing when you can't even say it, and it's completely different when you have to look in your ex lover's eyes during a song they wrote about you.

It's one thing, when you smoke every once in a while, it's another thing when you chain smoke, and it's completely different when you're in so much pain you chain smoke an entire pack in under ten minutes.

It's one thing to love someone, it's another thing to be in love with someone, and it's completely different when you're so afraid of being alone, that you try and love everyone.

During

"Maybe in another life we would've worked out."

"The ink is running towards the page, chasing off the days,"

"Why weren't his hateful words as beautiful as his loving ones?"

"Look back at both feet, and that winding knee,"

"He's probably here to spite me."

"I missed your skin when you were east, you clicked your heels and wished for me."

After

I don't know how he got into my dressing room, but as soon as he made it, and I smelled candied rum, he shot through my mind.

I don't know where he even found orange and yellow roses, or why he spent so much money on someone who doesn't love him anymore, but they made my heart hurt anyway.

I don't know why Dallon didn't break up with me right then, or why he puts up with me even though I'm poison in his veins, but it made me love him more anyways.

During

"You cursed me to sing this song."

"Through playful lips made of yarn, that fragile Capricorn,"

"You ruined my life."

"Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves,"

"I hate you."

"I know the world's a broken bone,"

"I love you."

"But melt your headaches call it home."

After

Fuck.