Walking Through Hell

Sacred

       It was sacred. I was always taught. Sex is sacred. I believed it. So I shared my mind with you. Became one with you mentally and intellectually. It's was beautiful. I saved my body for you. Waited for you to be single again. I wanted to make a move but I kept getting told no. So I waited. I whole heartedly believed that you loved me too. That you valued it as much as I did. That you would in fact wait for me to be ready. But you never did. You made me do things. So many things before I was ready. And I found out later. When I was saving myself for you and you were "waiting two years without touching me because you loved me" you were sleeping with so many girls. Girls I didn't know. Girls from the job we WORKED TOGETHER. I was waiting. Truly. Honestly. Genuinely saving myself for you. You never waited for me. You had your fill while you "waited" for me. Now I no longer enjoy that pleasure. Because you took away the sanctity of it. Took away the beauty you led me to believe we had in that act. You made me believe it was OUR thing. When really it was just for anyone. I was just another girl in the line up. Makes me want to vomit that I ever loved you as deeply as I did. It's embarrassing and shameful. I deserve whatever mental torture I face now when I think of you for ever trusting such a foul monster.