Are you an IDIOT?! ... or am I?

A.I. Food Shenanigans

Reaper and her friends were having a celebratory birthday feast for Caelis by dining at the most expensive restaurant in the game; La Chongga. 

The gamers sat around their virtual table eating and conversing over the food.  

 Man, I'm still amazed that we can eat and taste food in the game.  Flamingo commented, as she examined the food on her fork.  Even though I know it's not real, the helmets are telling our brains that it IS real. 

Download, who sat beside her, replied to her.  While, yes, we can taste the food, that's only 'cause the game helm sends those signals to our brain,  He said as he tapped the side of his skull.  But we're not ACTUALLY eating. In fact, we're still gonna have to eat IRL after we logout.  He said matter of factly. 

 Voyager, who sat across the table with Reaper in his arm, nodded in agreement while taking a sip of A.I. generated wine.  Such is the power of technology and how it tries to capture the art of life.

Reaper, who was leaning on him, gave him an unimpressed gaze.  You're just happy that you can have the bottomless alcohol and get drunk without having the hangover 'cause it's all just virtual reality, aren'tcha?

Voyager gave her a cheeky smirk as a reply. Reaper rolled her eyes.  I love you so much, my dumb musical genius.  The Bard smirked and pulled the Ranger closer.  I love you too, dear.

Lunaris, who sat at Voyager's other side, nudged him.  We're here to celebrate, not just drink, demmit.

Hamon hugged Lunaris and gave her a smile.  But, honey, the drinking IS part of the celebration.

Before Lunaris could hit her boyfriend, Caelis giggled and reached across the table to pat the Fighter's hand.  It's okay, Lunaris, he's right. I'm just so happy that we were all able to celebrate today, so let them drink as much as they want.

Lunaris was about to retort, but then stopped herself.  Fine... Then, Imma get some Lemon soda beer. That **** is ******* delicious.  She said as she pulled up the virtual restaurant menu and picked her drink of choice.

Caelis giggled as she smiled at her friends. She loved how everyone was there to celebrate her birthday. Then, to her side, she saw Nat1. The Monk stared at his untouched food.

The Wizard was worried for her friend and tapped his shoulder.  Nat1... You okay? You haven't eaten anything...

The Monk's gaze was unmoving, as he stared into his virtual food. He muttered something, but it was incomprehensible.

Caelis eyebrows scrunched in concern. Sorry, I didn't quite catch that...

The Monk took his plate and showed it to her.  How?! Just how?!

Caelis was taken aback by the sudden question, but responded anyway.  How what, exactly??

How the heck does Ginggador meat taste like IRL crab when the thing is a horse creature?!  He gestures the food on the plate.  How does their Bolognese-looking pasta taste like IRL Paella?! And how does their cabbage taste like IRL eggplant?!

After her moment of confusion, Caelis sighed in knowing that it was nothing bad that happened to her friend.  As much as I want to return your grievances, I don't really understand what you're going on abou--

The food is confusing my brain! I know it's virtual, but my tongue is looking for the correct textures and tastes!  Nat1 put down his plate and sighed as his head met the table.  The chef in me is raging, but I know it's all just a videogame and the DEVs are gonna ignore the tastes and textures of the foods...

Then, the Monk looked up and glared at the kitchen.  Maybe... It's in the preparation of the food...

Before Caelis could ask, the Monk stood from his seat. With a small gust of wind, Nat1 suddenly appeared in front of the kitchen. The Wizard was about to move to stop him, but Lunaris stopped her.  Just let the idiot be. If he gets into trouble, then he gets into trouble.  The Fighter told her. The Wizard gave off a small sigh and sat back down. She'll let the Monk be.

Nat1 took a breath, before opening the kitchen door and stepping inside.

After a few minutes the Monk came out of the kitchen and flopped onto the chair where his friends were.  I love this game, but I'm NEVER going back into any kitchen in here again.

Reaper smirked and reached across to pat his head.  Wanna tell us how your little culinary crusade went?

Nat 1 groaned.  The order comes in through the window. The chef sees the order and puts a giant wok over the stove flame. He unceremoniously dumps a ton of ingredients, that make NO SENSE, and stirs. Then POOF. The dish is ready on a plate and served... Best part, it applies to ALL dishes. Baked goods and drinks, included. COLD DESSERTS TOO!! HOW THE **** DO YOU MAKE AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE BY COOKING IT?! IN A WOK?!? OVER A BIG FLAME?!?!?

While majority of the group were chuckling, the Monk groaned in frustration.  Gotta freaking LOVE videogame logic, huh?  He said rhetorically.