The diary of secrets ( A heejake ff )

4. Feelings, feelings, and even more feelings!

Tw: language

ᴊᴀᴋᴇs ᴘᴏᴠ: 

 𝟽 ᴍᴀʀᴄʜ 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

 ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴅɪᴀʀʏ, 

  ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴄʟᴜsɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs ғᴏʀ ʜᴇᴇsᴇᴜɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. ɪ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴏᴜᴛ ǫᴜɪᴛᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ. ʙᴀsɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ɪ sᴀᴡ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴇ-ᴊᴜɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ ɢɪʀʟ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ/ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsɪᴛʏ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴏɪʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜsʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛᴡɪᴛᴄʜ! ɪ'ᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜᴇᴇsᴇᴜɴɢ. ɪғ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ! ɪ ᴅᴇғɪᴀɴᴛʟʏ sʜɪᴘ! ɪᴛ's ɴᴏᴛ ᴀs ɪғ ʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɴᴇᴡ.

 ᴊᴀʏ sᴛɪʟʟ ʜᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ ᴊᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴇᴛ. ɪ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ɪᴛs ʙᴇᴇɴ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ. ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅn't ᴄᴏɴғᴇss ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴇsᴇᴜɴɢ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴ! ɪ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴛᴇʟʟɪɴɢ ᴊᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ᴀsᴋ ʜɪᴍ ɴᴏᴡ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ғᴀᴄᴛ ᴅᴏ-ʜᴏ ʜᴀs ᴀ ᴄʀᴜsʜ ᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ sᴜʀᴇ ʜᴇ's ᴘʟᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ʜɪᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ.

 ɪᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ɴɪᴋɪ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜɴᴏᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄʟᴏsᴇʀ sɪɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏʀᴍs. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴀss, ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴀss ᴏr ᴀᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ. ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴜᴇssɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ! ɪ'ʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀsᴋ sᴜɴᴏᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴇᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴘs!

 ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴏғ sʜᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴅᴏʀᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴊᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜɴᴏᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ's ɢᴏɪɴɢ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʜᴏɴᴇsᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴀsᴛ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴡᴇ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄʟᴏsᴇʀ. ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɪɴsᴛᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴀʀɢᴜɪɴɢ. ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ sʜᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғᴜɴ! ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ғɪɴɢᴇʀ ᴏɴ. ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴅᴀʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ɢᴏ ɪɴ ғᴏʀ ғᴏʀᴍ, ʜᴇᴇsᴇᴜɴɢ, ᴊᴀʏ, sᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɴɪᴋɪ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴜᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴜᴘ. 

ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴏsʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪ ᴀᴍ, ɪ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ɪɴ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ sᴀʏɪɴɢ. ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ... ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇᴍ sᴀʏ "ʀᴇᴘᴏʀᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴜᴛ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʙᴀʀs!" . ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴄʜᴜʀɴ. sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʜᴀs ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ᴅᴏɴᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟʏ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɪs ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ...

I close my diary and jump on my bed. There's no school on Friday as once a week the school chooses a day where you don't go to school. This week it's Friday. I usual do my homework on those days but I'm ahead of it and I don't know what to do. I unlock my phone and open messages.