Kingdom Come

XXI. 'Till I Collapse

I'll probably never get the props

I feel I ever deserve

But I'll never be served,

my spot is forever reserved

If I ever leave Earth,

that would be the death of me first

'Cause in my heart of hearts

I know nothing could ever be worse

Jaehaera sat back against Sihtric as he now stood behind her. They were getting closer to Bebbanburg by the day, and their boat continuously was getting rocked from side to side by waves. She saw her father carefully cut the back of his wrist with his knife to offer blood to the goddess Ran. Uhtred turned to see his son looking at him in confusion and disappointment. "Ran can be a vixen," her father told her brother. "This should settle her."

"Ran is pagan lies," young Uhtred answered. Jaehaera closed her eyes. She didn't think she could handle more of their arguing for another moment. "I pity you for believing it."

"Do you pity me too baby brother?" Jaehaera asked, glaring as she leaned forward toward the boy. He turned and looked at his sister, knowing he had offended her as well even if he didn't mean to. "Finan, give him something to do so I no longer have to hear him."

Her father looked at Finan and nodded in agreement. "Hey!" the Irishman called to her brother. "You can empty this," he informed while handing him the bucket they used to relieve themselves. The men around smirked and laughed at the boy and his misfortune, but Jaehaera stayed silent as she leaned back against Sihtric once more. He gently placed his free hand on her shoulder and rubbed it lightly. She closed her eyes once more at the breeze hitting her skin.

"Tell me the truth," young Uhtred told their father with an angry expression on his face. Jaehaera sighed. "Am I the bait?"

"For what?" their father asked him.

"In the plan, you are hiding from me," young Uhtred clarified. "Am I the bait?"

"Nothing is hidden from you," Uhtred answered his son. "We are tracking monks who have entry to Bebbanburg. You will befriend them, enter Bebbanburg, and open the sea gate to us."

"I think you have another reason for dragging me into your revenge," young Uhtred informed the other Uhtred. Jaehaera sighed once more and shook her head, but she didn't say anything.

"Yes," her father agreed. "So you may win honor and reputation."

"The only reputation that matters is my standing with God," the boy replied.

"You cannot force a boy to be a warrior," Finan told Uhtred from next to her father at the bow of the ship.

"My blood runs within his veins," Uhtred answered the Irishman. "Why can he not see that?"

"Because your blood is that of a stubborn bastard," Finan answered. "Look at your eldest daughter. And for some reason, you are confused at his stubbornness?" Jaehaera sat silently as her younger brother began to pray. She did not know for who, maybe it was just to make their father upset. She didn't know.

"Who do you pray for, boy?" Uhtred asked his son sharply. "Hm?" he asked again when young Uhtred did not answer as he stood up to walk to his son.

"The men you will slaughter," young Uhtred answered. Jaehaera shook her head against Sihtric, but still sat silently. This was between her brother and father, they would have to figure it out on their own. Jaehaera kept her eyes closed in an effect to calm down the frustration building within her. "You seem to take things when you want them. When you do, show mercy."