Nothing Will Change

Chapter 60

The Derby was infested with people. Floral hats and tweeds suits you couldn't tell apart the groups of people milling around even if you tried. But it was the riches, the expensive groups who wore pearls and had ostrich feathers in their hats. Buying drinks, putting money on horses, all complete with accents that would send any normal person into a frenzy. If Rose looked hard enough she was sure to find someone she knew from school, but then what would they say to her? The girl from the farm their mother's bought flowers from, who never fitted in because she wasn't inheriting some rich estate.

In the two years in which she stayed in her village she would have completely blocked the idea she could stand amongst the posh entirely. She would have felt completely sane not to pursue her dream that wasn't meant for her because the simple life was more thrilling. But it wasn't. Pulling out weeds and feeding chickens didn't compare close to wearing a beautiful dress somewhere where people knew her name. Rose would miss the simple life she had, but it wouldn't go away, she could hold onto it and return to it. She could never return to a dream and life as a designer if she tossed it away, it would collect dust in a draw having never known its place in the world.

May was huddled away with Tommy's horse. As they walked into the enclosure, she was standing watching as Grace's Secret was checked over. There were nerves on her face, staring deeply at the horse as it huffed with too many hands on it. The name itself still made Rose antsy, but suppose a horse mysteriously gray fitted it. She had done well ignoring the name the past few weeks.

"She threw a shoe coming out of the box," May told them when she spotted them.

Standing with her, Rose watched as Tommy ran a hand over the horse's neck, checking her for himself. It made her miss Blaze, seeing each horse seemingly unaware what the day held for them. A day of stress all for one moment. Blaze wasn't a race horse in the way Rose thought all horses weren't for racing. They would be so much happier on an open field.

"She looks in fine shape," Tommy complimented, whispering his hellos affectionately. He could be stoic with a cigarette between his lips but a horse would always make his knees go weak. One of the many holes in Tommy's built up exterior which Rose couldn't wait to break down completely.

"Should we be worried?" Rose wondered.

"You should not," May bumped shoulders with her with a smile. She wondered if she knew what had happened the previous few days, if Tommy told her when he received the call. Perhaps it would explain why she only smiled at Rose and not Tommy.

"You two go and drink. Enjoy the day," she said to them both when Tommy came and stood with them, "I'll come and find you when the race is done."

"I was hoping I would steal you for a drink rather soon..." Rose's voice trailed off as she saw a red dress hung up across from them, similar to the one she made Grace, "that's pretty, is it yours?"

It was an elegant red lace with a floral pattern. It stood out against all the beige of the room but so vividly reminded Rose of Grace, as it surely did for Tommy beside her. If he suddenly felt tense Rose didn't notice, just that he was standing closer to her.

"My mother wore it to the Derby in 1895," May explained, "she was presented to Queen Victoria... After the race I'll change in the horse box and then come and join you up there with the toffs. What do you say?"

Rose stopped eyeing the dress, "can't we drink now? Before the race. Tommy has things to do he's a very busy man."

He chuckled but it was slightly reserved, like he was waiting to be discharged. And he could have left them to it, he could have walked Rose there then kissed her goodbye and good luck but he didn't. There was more to say.