Junk drawer

To Thomas

The best day of my life started with the best way of waking up.

My eyes were slowly opening and crusted over with sleep. The quilt on my bed was cocooned around me, making my body heat up and relaxed. The night before I had fallen asleep looking at the tears from the sky waltz across my window, and the roaring lighting flash across the dark night sky. But when I woke up, I saw the sun rays beaming through the thick glass. The birds were singing in their beautiful choirs, full of different melodies. When I looked up at the sky, there wasn't a puff of cotton candy clouds to be seen.

I stayed in bed like that for an hour, trying to take in the beauty of that night and that morning. But when I heard my stomach growl, I felt the hunger grow on me, and decided to get out of bed. My feet slapped against the cold, wooden floors. I hastily grabbed my wool robe so I wouldn't feel the cold breeze punch me in the gut.

I barely remember what happened the rest of that morning, because that afternoon my life changed with one glance.

Later that evening after leaving a small get-together with some friends, I decided to go explore to the park. That was where I saw you. You were playing guitar for a small crowd, a baseball cap collecting change at your feet. Your hands danced across your instrument, creating cords as your feet tapped to the beat of the music. There was a beanie covering the brunette hair that I soon grew to love, and a pair of light green eyes that spoke intangible sonnets.

No, you didn't have a supermodel face. You didn't have a strong, built body. And that's what really caught my attention. Your face was real. Your full cheeks were slightly sucked in because you were focusing on the music, and you had your dirty Beatles tee shirt on. For some reason I was drawn to you like a magnet. My feet started moving, and I couldn't stop them. I guess my body was just leading me to my destiny.

Your fingers stopped dancing across the strings and the little audience applauded. Some gave you a few coins, others a few dollars. I reached for my purse before realizing I didn't have it. For some reason I felt so guilty that I couldn't give you anything. But you, you didn't even care. You calmly put your guitar away and walked off, like you didn't even see me. God, you wouldn't believe how angry  I was. I needed you to see me, to know I existed. But you just walked off! I still laugh at how horrible I felt. For some reason it felt like you left me. Not just casually leaving the area, but left me in a personal way. Somehow god gave me courage to walk up to you that day. Again, destiny was falling in place.

By the time I caught up to you, you were in a bar. You had a cold bear in your hands when I sat down at the stool beside you. It took me a minute to muster up the courage to speak to you. But when I did, I didn't regret it one bit. After my small greeting, you asked me if I wanted a drink. You must have read the guilt in my phase when I passed on the offer. I thought if I told you I was sober you would feel awkward and go away. But you understood. You smiled and congratulated me on my three months of hard work. You made my heart fly back up from that godforsaken pit of embarrassment! You made me feel like it was actually worth it. You gave me a better reason to pick my life back up from being poisoned from the alcohol that I drank for far too long. I needed that understanding more than anything.

I soon asked you about your music, and your face immediately glowed! That made me realize how much of a passion you have for what you do. Isn't it amazing what a simple facial expression can tell? You went on about your music, and I genuinely smiled the entire time. I never got bored of our conversation. Your love for music excited me, and it never got old after all of this time.

We only spent about thirty minutes in that bar before there was too much noise. I thought you would leave and say a kind goodbye, but you invited me to go with you. I could feel my smile get ten times bigger. Being around you made me a happier person, and in was just beginning to realize that. 

We walked for a while. You were leading me somewhere far away from the rest of the world. Never once did I ever think you were going to hurt me. Now that I look back, I was being a complete idiot. Going somewhere alone with a complete strange? Good thing you didn't kill me that evening. All I was thinking was "Can this guy get even better then he is already?" And the answer was yes, yes you could. Every time I looked at you, you became even more amazing. Before I knew it we were at our destination. You stopped in your tracks, and I followed. When I looked around, I could see why you brought me here. Cotton seeds were softly falling down like snow. We were standing in a small patch of meadow, where the trees bowed over us, trying to block passage of the fading sun. Rays of light were peeking in between every branch, grazing our faces with unique patterns of shadows. I told you about how when I was a child, I thought those sun rays meant angels were coming. You laughed at my first response to your beautiful hide out. But now that I think about it, my theory must've been true. You were my angel, and you still are. Every day you save me from the hell I once lived in.

We sat there, in that small heaven. I remember every part. First you talked about your family. I couldn't do anything but laugh at the adorable stories you told me about your younger siblings. When you asked me about mine, I just said I prefer not to. And you let the subject go. Do you know how grateful I was for that? To have someone understand that I don't want to talk about it, and to have them let it go? I felt like the whole world was lifted off my shoulders once again, because of you. It's always you. I wanted to hug you, so thats what I did. Without thinking, I pulled you into a right embrace. At first I couldn't believe my self and I was about to pull back, but then you hugged me back. You pulled me close to your amazing forest scent. And that's when I started crying. I started crying because I knew someone cared. Someone I barely knew, but it felt like I knew them for ages, actually cared. You didn't tense up when the tears fell from my cheek onto your shoulder, you just pulled me even closer. Tears kept falling from my eyes. I couldn't tell if they were tears of joy or sadness, but they were tears. And you didn't leave. We laid there in each other's arms for a whole hour until I asked you to sing for me. As soon as I said that, you had a big smile ear to ear. You pulled out your guitar form it's beat up leather case, and you started plucking away. You sang a song about birds as I leaned my head against your shoulder. The smile wouldn't leave my face as I listened to your beautiful melody. When you finished your song, I saw the sun sinking down the horizon, painting beautiful colors across the sky. I had spent over an hour with you without even realizing it. We both hesitantly stood up and started walking away from the place you would later propose to me.

When we got to my old rusty jeep, we casually exchanged phone numbers. But before I could open my door, you leaned down and touched your lips to mine. So many people say that they feel sparks when they kiss, but that's not true at all. It's more like tsunami crashing through your churning mind. And the brain, the organ that makes us fall in uncontrollable love for someone, simply explodes. We both leaned into the kiss as you wrapped your hands around my hips and I combed my fingers through your hair. I didn't realize it at that moment, but I was falling deeper in love with you every second I was with you.

As soon as the kiss started, it stopped. At first we just both looked into each other's eyes, but for some reason I felt a bubbling inside of me, so I started giggling. You chuckled at me and softly said "Goodbye Sarah." And you walked off. I surprised myself by non-chaloatnly getting in my car and driving off. But did I ever tell you that as soon as I left the park, I started singing your song at the top of my lungs? I remembered every damn word to that angelic song! I sang it all of the way home.

We were supposed to get married today. I was going to walk down the aisle in my slim fitting white gown. The worst part is, it's the alcohol that ruined everything for me once again. Why did you have to be right in front of a drunk driver Thomas? Why did you have to leave me, and he got to stay? I can't stop thinking of you, and I never will stop. I guess God needed a new angel, so he took the best choice. He took you.

Thank you Thomas. Thank you for being my angel.

Love,
Sarah

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1,615 words :)