antisocial || malum

four

michael

@calum_hood "nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide. but what just happened to me, i may just start considering it."

michaelgclifford: what's wrong?

calum_hood: what are you talking about?

michaelgclifford: i have your tweet notifications on and you tweeted something, depressing. tell me what's up?

calum_hood: you wouldn't understand, i doubt you've been through it.

michaelgclifford: maybe if you would just tell me I could relate to it.

calum_hood: okay fine, don't you dare tell anyone. not even luke

michaelgclifford: alright

calum_hood: first so you won't be confused, im suicidal. the reason why is that my dad absolutely despises me. ever since my mother was gone he's been blaming me for ever little stupidest thing he can find. he doesn't even know i'm gay and he calls me a faggot. and he's done it so much that when i was 5, my therapist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety attacks. five, fucking five. that also led me that when i was 13 the start abusing myself. so all together i've been depressed for 13 years. your turn.

michaelgclifford: oh my. h-how can someone be that fucking harsh to such an innocent boy. can i ask a question before i go?

calum_hood: go right ahead.

michaelgclifford: is your mother dead?

calum_hood: i really don't want to speak about it. it's a sensitive topic.

michaelgclifford: okay my turn i guess.

michaelgclifford: i don't know how to put this in a sentence. I get abused by my father. im literally a pale boy covered in burn mark, scars, deep deep scars, and other i can't explain. i get abused every day, my mother just watches me. and when luke is over, we act like were the perfect family when in reality we're not. i was depressed, i used to self harm because if my dad didn't beat me, i would feel numb, i needed some pain. and surprise surprise people bully me. bully is such a childish word. but they do. i still do but that's barely since he does it every day and says 'take it like a man would faggot!' it started when i told them i was gay, he nearly flipped over the table and went in for my face, punching me. telling me i didn't belong on this earth, that i was a disease, a disgrace to the clifford family. i really just don't want to live with my parents anymore , but i don't have enough money to afford an apartment.

calum_hood: i didnt know. i feel so bad for you, i really just want to hug you and comfort you. you dont deserve that mikey, you deserve better

michaelgclifford: nobody knows. i hide it with a fake smile. you honestly don't need to feel bad about it, its not your fault.

michaelgclifford: so youre not gonna autocorrect mikey?

calum_hood: nah, im calling u mikey from now on

calum_hood: can i have your phone number?

michaelgclifford: its been nearly a week and we asking for numbers. sure ***-***-***

calum_hood: ***-***-***

michaelgclifford: YIURS HAS 669 IN IT WTF

calum_hood: ikr its weird 😂

"michael!" i heard my dad say. my eyes widened and i slowly dmed calum that i would be back in a few. i remembered that luke was still here and told him to exit out the back way. he asked why but i just told him too. he leaves and which leaves me wondering if i should go down or not.

"michael!" my dad screamed again. i slowly got off of my bed, making it creak, and tiptoed down the stairs. i peeked my head out of the wall separating the livingroom and the stair well.

suddenly a beer bootle collides right in my face, causing me to fall backwards.

he's drunk again? great, when is he not?

i quietly whimpered and got up. when i looked up my dad was right in front of me. "I didn't tell you to get up." he shoved me into the ground where to broken glass was. i felt the shattered glass dig into my arms, back, and legs.

beating me for no entirely reason, how fun.