Healing the pain with him

Part 39

Betty pov

"Come on sweets you promised you'd talk to me" I said raising my eyebrows and I chuckled when v pushed him towards me so he would talk.

"Look I don't really know what to talk about" sweets said and I looked at him.

"Look I don't know what happened whilst I was at the place but everyone was crying and apparently you didn't even shed a tear" I told him and he sighed.

"It's only me you can let it out" I told him and he looked at me sadly.

"I just really didn't know what to do Betty, I was so scared that you weren't gonna come back,everyone was a mess but I just couldn't show it, it was like I was in denial that you had even gone, and I guess I just wanted to be there for everyone especially v, she was absolutely broken and I think she didn't really stop crying until she was told you were gonna be okay. And I just didn't want to break her heart even more by saying I didn't think we were gonna get you back, once we had all gone home that night I completely broke down I don't think I've really been more scared then I was then. I really thought you weren't coming home Betts and I just blamed myself for all of it. And I know you're home now but you aren't okay Betty and I know you say you are but you look so scared whenever a loud noise comes on the tv or when one of us touches you I just can't believe they did all of that to you" sweet pea said with a single tear rolling down his cheek and I sighed pulling him into a hug.

"Yeah if I'm being honest I'm not okay. I'm scared and terrified and feel alone sometimes even know I'm in a room full of people. I am absolutely terrified when I hear certain sounds or  someone touches me. I was even scared of my own boyfriends kiss yesterday. I'm so fucking far from being okay but I'm so glad it was me and not any of you. I just don't know what I would've done if one of you had gotten hurt when you were saving me, I never would of been able to live with myself. But it's okay we are all unharmed and whilst I don't think I'll ever be fully okay I'm just glad to have all of you with me. I wanna do something and you and jug are going to absolutely kill me for it" I said and he looked at me wondering what it was.

"I wanna join the serpents" I say and he looks at me like he's about to cut me of and say no.

"Look I know you want to say no and I would obviously need to talk to fp about it and I know you're gonna say it's dangerous but it's already dangerous me just hanging out with you guys. What you guys have is a family something I don't have anymore and I promised jug that I wanted to be a part of his world. I wanna talk to my girls and see if they wanted to join to. Toni has already mentioned that she was sad there were no girl serpents and in a way it might make us more protected. I don't want anymore you guys then me v and c, I just want us to all be one." I said and he looked at me thoughtfully.

"Okay fine but a couple things first. 1 I want to be sure you definitely want this because you have to do the serpent dance and also you don't have to be a serpent for us all to love you. I won't tell jug but if he gets mad I didn't know anything and we are waiting until you're injuries are more healed because you can barely walk at the moment" sweet pea said and I nodded excited and hugged him then winced in pain.

"Are you okay Betts" he asked his eyes full of worry and I nodded.

"Yeah I'm just still in a little pain I just wanna cuddle my boyfriend" I chuckle a bit and walk back to the lounge and smile going over to jughead sitting on his lap.

I smile and snuggle up to him and he carefully wraps his awks arounds me and kisses my cheek.

"I love you" jug says and I smile at him kissing him.

"I love you more" I said and he shook his head acting like that could never be true.

"Awww" we hear a voice say and I chuckle at Cheryl gushing over us.

I can tell she's so happy that I've found someone who loves me.

"We still need our girl day" I pouted talking to the girls as I cuddled on jugheads chest as he played video games with the other boys.

"I know how about we have it tomorrow I mean I know we originally planned to go shopping but we don't want you walking a lot with your injury we could just have it here, maybe just watch movies order pizza in do some face masks or something" Toni suggested and I nodded happily liking that idea.

"Yes that will be so fun I can do all your nails" Veronica said making me giggle.

That will also be a great time to talk to them about joining the serpents. I don't mind what they do either way it won't make much difference.

I talk to them for a while and look up at jugs concentration face on the game and I can't help but think I got so lucky.

It's always been jug in my eyes. In the start when he came back I never knew if I'd forgive him for leaving me.

But I think I was just scared because I didn't want to lose him again.

But I don't care anymore it's worth the risk of losing him. Some people are worth putting your entire heart on the line for.

And he is without a doubt.