DREAMS - [Kakashi x Reader One-shots]

Unloveable (1/4)

(art from @oiseau_bonjour)

 A distant voice called her name. No, it yelled for her, it begged for help. It was a cry for salvation from her teammate and what she considered one of her closest friends. Her (e/c) eyes widened in fear, afraid she wouldn't get to him in time, and afraid she'd die if she did. But the fear didn't immobilize her, on the contrary, it made her move.

She was surrounded by screams, fire, and crashes. It was horrible, a complete battlefield. The smell of blood and powder was so pungent that long lost was the previous smell of the forest. Barely anything was green, and instead, it was all burned, muddy and bloody. There were bodies all around her as she tried to get to her teammate, her third companion already dead among the other corpses. She couldn't bare losing him too. But this was a war, and casualties were a must. 

She winced in pain, she had cuts and small rocks piercing her flesh. Her skin itched from how dirty it was wherever it wasn't painful, and she felt her legs would give out any moment now. But she kept pushing until she reached her stuck teammate. 

"I'm sorry," the boy tore, knowing that his selfish request for being saved may mean the death of both of them. But (Y/n) didn't falter, she put his arm around her shoulders and tried leaving the battlefield to get to the rear of their forces, to safety.

But she couldn't. Everything was a blur from that point onward. She never recalls well what happened, but there's something that always comes to her mind, even when she sleeps. It's the cry of pain of her friend as he dies in front of her. It's the sound of the explosion under her feet, the fire that burned her flesh, and the shrapnel that pierced her tendons and bones. She fell to the floor, but unluckily, she didn't have the same fate as her friend. He laid in front of her, guts sprawled over the muddy floor as his blood pooled around him.

"(Y/n)!" her father's voice sounded after he hit the back of her head with the newspaper, suddenly waking her up from her nightmare. She was so startled she jumped on the stool, looking around in confusion and relief "Stop dozing off and serve our clients," her dad sighed, not wanting to scold her since this was now her business. He normally wasn't even in the store but would sometimes come by to lend a hand or two. But still, he was unable not to nag her as her father. 

He walked back to the backroom of her shop, which was the forge of the place. It was then that (Y/n) noticed the man, waiting at the counter to be addressed. She looked at his silver hair and unbothered dark eyes that seemed to look at her with sympathy. She couldn't help but give him a sheepish smile and an apologetic look. 

"I'm sorry," she said to one of her colleagues. Or well, past colleagues "You should have woken me up," she said, moving aside the sketches she was making of new weapons along with the handles she had been arranging. 

"You seemed like you needed the sleep," he answered, feeling that she was having a nightmare before she was woken up. But his words weren't a lie either. 

Maybe Kakashi and her weren't close friends, but they had sometimes gotten out together in group, and the two had more in common than anyone else did, and they both knew. He knew that she always had that tired face, with slight eyebags and low energy. He knew her enough to know that she was someone he didn't mind being with. She was calm, or well, he felt calm around her, as if her aura matched with his. Perhaps due to how she seemed to be in her own world most times, but in a downcast way that, of course, he noticed. 

"A nightmare?" he couldn't help but ask, feeling all too familiar to them. She looked away, giving away her answer. Although it was more than a nightmare to her.

"Something similar..." she answered, and by the way she did Kakashi knew it was something familiar to her as well "What did you need?" she dismissed his words, not wanting to think about those memories again. Even though they always popped back, making her body always feel the reminiscent pain.

Kakashi fumbled with something in his back, taking out his old wakizashi from when he was a kid. He passed it to her, and she quickly yet carefully pulled it out of its sheath. 

"Your old blade..." she commented on it, remembering a few times she met Minato-sensei with his newest team at the time, this being Kakashi, Rin, and Obito. She remembered he used to have this blade, but now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen him use it in years. 

"I haven't used it in a while," he said. 

"I can see that," she let go of a half-hearted laugh, noticing the dirt and hard edges. It was very obvious no one had cared for it for years "I can make a few modifications if you want to use it again," she began, already imagining how she could improve the blade and handle, perhaps even the sheath. But Kakashi shook his head in denial. As much as he admired her work, he didn't want to use this sword. 

"I just want to repair it," he said, swallowing in fear of sounding rude. But she noticed how his eyes flickered from her to the blade and thought nothing of it. Instead, she just nodded, a bit disappointed at the easy task. No one ever wanted cool and flashy weapons...

"I can have it for tomorrow," she said to him, noting some things down on a piece of paper. 

"Ah, I'm in no rush, don't worry," he said, afraid she might overwork herself for his selfish request. She shook her hand in disdain. 

"It's fine, I don't have much work lately. I was napping anyway," she chuckled lightly, getting closer to the edge of the stool but not standing up yet, not until Kakashi left. 

They looked at each other for a while more, (Y/n) waiting for him to say or request something else, and Kakashi wanting to say something else, but not knowing what or how. So he just made an awkward nod and turned around to leave. 

"Oh," he stopped, turning around. (Y/n) stopped before standing up, her attention on her silver friend again "Gai will force me to go to his birthday next week," he said, knowing that as much as he'd like to refuse and stay home, he would probably break the door down and drag him with him "You're coming, right?" He asked because he knew she had been invited too but he wasn't sure if she'd appear. She only usually hung out with them if they met in bars.

"I'll see if I can," she did one of her usual half-smiles, not knowing if she'd be feeling like going out by then. But it seemed enough of an answer to Kakashi, who finally said goodbye to her, and left her blacksmith store.