elliot lee -- the boy with the loud laugh and the stars in his eyes.
micah cassidy -- the boy who's always got his earbuds in to drown out the world.
micah and elliot fell in love in the ninth grade. they've been best friends since way before that...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Over spring break, my mom tells me we're going on a trip. She doesn't care where we go, but she can't stand being couped up at home, so we should go somewhere. Go anywhere.
Mom works from home, she has been for just about as long as I can remember, and so I understand the desperation. And truthfully, I agree with her. If I spend one more week off of school feeling myself rot from the inside out as I lay around for seven days, I think I would simply go insane.
So we pack our bags, and on Monday morning, we set off for our grand adventure.
I text Micah from the road.
heading out on a road trip for break
should have told you before but it was pretty last minute, sorry
I click my phone off and try to let the guilt go. Why should I have to feel guilty? I'm just having fun on my break, like I'm sure he'll have fun on his. Or at least I really hope he does.
We'd probably be spending copious amounts of time together if I was there, so I hope he finds another way to occupy his time.
My mom turns up the radio, bopping her head along with some 80s song. The air conditioning chills my skin, and the sky is clear and blue. A road-trip always feels like a breath of fresh air, a change of pace, and already this rejuvenates me.
My phone buzzes some time later, and it takes a great deal of effort to pick it up and look at it. When I do, I'm greeted with a text from Micah.
have fun!
When I open it, I'm also greeted with the three little bubbles dancing at the bottom of the screen. My heart is in my throat as I wait for what he has to say, guilt pounding like a drum in my head that rivals even my own heartbeat. But then the message pops up, and everything is fine.
see you when you get back :)
In six words a smiley face, Micah cuts off my guilt and lets it go as if it was a balloon at a kid's birthday party.
I tuck my phone into my backpack again, feeling even lighter this time. My mom looks over at me, grinning, and I'm grinning too.
"So where are we headed?" I ask.
"I don't know!" Mom replies, tone bright. "Isn't that marvelous?"
And, really, there is something so freeing about the journey missing its destination, about not needing to have everything figured out just yet.
The day is young (I am young) and the answers will come in time.
☆ ☆ ☆
We stop for lunch at a diner that looks like it was ripped straight out of the sixties and dropped in the middle of California, a piece of time preserved for everyone to see.
I order a shirley temple, and the waitress makes sure it comes to me with extra cherries.
"Thank you!" I tell her, smile stretching from ear to ear. I pick one off the top and eat it, and it tastes just as good as I remember— sweet, syrupy, red.
I feel like a little kid again, flung back into being seven, Micah and I sitting at the kitchen table while mom spun around making shirley temples for us so we could feel fancy. Micah always took his with no cherries, and I always got extra.
In the beginning, mom gave us both cherries and Micah would just give me his. After mom noticed that though, she just started giving me more and not giving him any. It was nice of her to be observant, but I think I liked it better when Micah would drop his into my glass and smile.
Mom must notice the wistful look in my eye, because she nudges my foot with hers under the table. I snap back to reality, and she's got this bittersweet smile on her face.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Micah." I say without a second thought. "Remember when you used to make us shirley temples all time?" I laugh quietly, but tears find my eyes.
Nothing about the moment is sad, I have no reason to feel sad. But everything I say comes out feeling broken, glass cutting away at my heart.
"What's wrong, honey?" Mom asks, her hands surrounding mine.
"I don't know." I take a deep breath, but that wobbles and falls flat all the same. "I don't know what's wrong with me, mom."
"Nothing is wrong with you, Elliot."
I look up at meet her eyes, and she's smiling at me. That was the moment she knew— I didn't yet know myself, but I think that was the moment it all became clear to her. Still, she let me take my time.
"Nothing is wrong with you." She repeats.
Our food comes after that, and I feel a bit silly for ordering a waffle, but after I take the first bite I don't care anymore. It tastes just slightly like vanilla and I drown it in syrup, and I try to mend my heart as I eat it.
