elliot lee -- the boy with the loud laugh and the stars in his eyes.
micah cassidy -- the boy who's always got his earbuds in to drown out the world.
micah and elliot fell in love in the ninth grade. they've been best friends since way before that...
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In the morning, I get a text from Micah about how his parents are driving him to school. Considering it's the first day, it makes sense that they would want to see him off, but I can't pretend I'm not a little disappointed. I want to talk to him about what happened last night, so much that it makes me ache.
See you at school!, I reply happily. In reality, I feel my heart sink like a stone.
I'll have to wait until lunch. We have significantly less classes together this year, and even then, it's not like we could talk about us kissing in the middle of history class.
"Bye mom!" I yell from the front door. She's somewhere upstairs, probably her office. I wish she would give me a hug farewell, drive me to school even, but instead she stays buried in her work.
"Bye honey! Have a great first day. I'll pick you up after school and you can tell me all about it!"
"Sounds great," I reply once I can make out her words. Then I'm gone, backpack on my shoulders and skateboard tucked under my arm.
The nerves finally hit me in the silence— will I like my teachers? Will my classes be boring? Will I make new friends? Will Micah make new friends? Will he forget about me? I try to swallow back the anxieties, but it doesn't work.
I start to feel like I might implode, but then I'm walking up the sidewalk to school. Kids surround me on all sides, some in groups and some flying solo, all carrying themselves with nervous anticipation.
I must have some kind of impeccable timing going for me today, or just some immense luck, because I see Micah stepping out of his parents' car in front of me.
He's waving at them, saying things that I can't quite make out with a shaky grin on his face. When they drive off, he turns, and immediately his eyes latch onto me.
The smile drops clean off his face, replaced by something far away and bittersweet that I can't name. He blinks, and it's gone. "Elliot!" He yells instead, running at me to fold me into a hug. "I'm so nervous."
"We're going to nail this day, both of us."
He pulls out of the hug to look at my face, cheeks going pink, and then he lets go and turns away. "Let's go then!"
I notice that he didn't do his eyeliner this morning. I wonder why, wonder if it had anything to do with last night, but when my mouth opens to ask, no words fall out.
I'll wait until lunch. We'll talk at lunch. Everything will be okay at lunch.
☆ ☆ ☆
Lunch finally arrives, but it comes so slowly that I feel like pulling my hair out. Micah and I do have the class before lunch together so luckily I don't have to struggle finding him amongst the crowds of students who are chatting loudly with their friends.
"Where are we sitting this year?" He asks me.
Last year, we sat under a tree behind the last row of school buildings. This year, I hadn't thought about it. I didn't know we'd have to change.
"We can go to the same place! If you want." He hastily adds on. He's looking at me, and I wonder if my fear has been showing on my face.
"Sure. Same place it is," I say as casually as I can.
Micah lets me lead the way, an odd sort of expression on his face. He's been doing that a lot today. When he sits down, he collapses onto my shoulder, and my heart splutters.
"I'm so tired of school already." He lets out a rusty laugh.
"Have your classes really been that bad?"
"I mean, I dunno. But... my best friend isn't there."
"Oh no. That's too bad. I'm sure he misses you too, though."
Micah exhales. "Good. I thought he'd move on and make new friends. Leave me behind."
That's when I realize Micah has the same fears as me. He's just a person, too. He's the same best friend I've had for my whole life, and we're still linked. Intrinsically linked.
"I could never leave you behind." I mutter.
He picks his head back up, pulling out his lunch box. "I figure you'll be happy with this though— no more food theft this year." He cracks a grin at me, and winks, then whispers "or will there be?"
I punch him in the arm, laughing. "There will be. There always is. But it's okay, because I pack extra food for you."
"Do— do you really?" His eyes go wide.
"Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that. The higher ups won't like it."
I busy myself with pulling out my own lunch box, all the while trying not to stare at Micah out the corner of my eye.
"Shut up, Lee!" But he's grinning. I gave him that smile, I did that. A smile of my own leaks onto my features, sticky and sweet and warm like syrup.
I've forgotten about last night, instead finding our banter like a safety net. Maybe bringing it up in conversation would only make things worse, would only make things weird between us. Sure, we kissed, but what if it didn't mean anything?
Slowly, the topic of conversation fades from my mind until it's entirely forgotten. By the time the bell rings, we're laughing like there's no tomorrow and I can't remember a world where anything else exists.
"See you last period, Lee."
"Good luck, Cassidy."
We go our separate ways, my anxieties forgotten. I want to sink into that feeling forever, Micah's smile by my side.
