One of Many Firsts

Chapter 1: Something that was lost

'With birds chirping delightedly in the soothing warmth, the brilliance of newborn sun rays offered promises of hope and joy, as if celebrating the birth of a new day. All of that, complete with azure blue skies and fluffy white clouds floating peacefully across the sky' would exactly be how a primary school student in Singapore was usually trained to start their continuous writing assignment, I thought to myself while tipping back on the two rear legs of my chair, in a precarious state where I could fall should my center of gravity tip a little more.

The Primary School Leaving Examination or PSLE is the first major milestone any Singapore student will have to go through at a tender age of twelve. We have been told that this is the most important examination in our lives but unbeknownst to us, our parents choose to conveniently leave out the phrase "for now". A good number of students prepare for it as early as one year in advance, though it is not unheard of that some might start even before that. And that is exactly what I am preparing for. Yet I had written nothing so far.

I stared at the blank piece of paper and my thoughts soon drifted off to the reason why I lacked any ounce of mood nor desire to go beyond such introduction templates for my narrative writing piece.

Georgina.

My first friend. My best friend. A friend no more.

All over one single boy.

Spoiler alert. Sorry, but no; this is not a love story and no, there is no love triangle.

Georgina and I had always been the best of friends since primary one. We had many firsts together as best friends. For five years, we were always the first to hear each other's deep dark secrets. We had our first sleepover at her place where we combed each other's silky black hair. During which, we would talk about how envious we were of each other's qualities – I of her gracefulness while she of my ability to always find the right words to say to her. We had so much to share and say to each other it was almost like we would never run out of things to say.

Although we had so many firsts together, I still looked forward to having more firsts with her. Of course, we would also be the first to know of what each other find annoying about the male species. And thus you could understand my flabbergasted look when she told me she liked Elias.

Another first. Not to mention the first time I had ever seen her swoon over a guy.

I let out a deep sigh and set my chair back upright. I then rested my crossed arms on my table and nested my left cheek in the crook of my arms, looking at the gloomy grey clouds that reflected my mood perfectly. "Whoever said that twelve-year-olds had no struggles to deal with?" I mumbled to no one in particular. "They're so real I could even sell the plot and it would be an instant blockbuster." My mind then drifted back to the last time when Georgina and I were still on talking terms – recess that day.

"Did you see how tall, tan and handsome he looks after not seeing him for the December holiday? He looks way more dashing than ever before!" she squealed like she did whenever she talked about her beloved Levi Ackerman from Attack On Titan. I offered a grunt and the rolling of my eyes in response. Undeterred, she continued, "Look at his new haircut. So suave, like Levi!"

"Hello, Earth to Mars. I thought we agreed he was the worst of the lot. Obnoxious, rude, overbearing, chauvinistic, and to top it off, arrogant with a capital 'A', remember?" I reminded her while she stared dreamily at her crush so blatantly and intensely it was as if she wanted him to sense that she was ogling at him.

"Maybe he isn't that bad. Maybe he turned over a new leaf during the holidays with that new haircut. Besides, we don't really know him well enough to judge him," she continued while still fangirling with her hands cupping her cheeks. Reaching the zenith of my limits, I stood akimbo in front of her, blocking her view of Elias while staring deep into her pearl black eyes.

"Tan Xuan Chun Georgina! Snap out of it this instance! This is so disgusting coming from you!" I lashed out at her, unable to control my emotions. "Let's focus on our studies instead like we should. We will be taking our PSLE this year. It's not the time to be distracted by a boy; or worse, wanting to get into a relationship! This is unbecoming of you. This is not the Georgina I know!"

"Bam!"

No sooner had Georgina's water bottle slammed hard on the table than she stood up and glared right back at me in the eyes while retorting, "Lee Wen Rui Emberlynn! Who died and made you Queen? You think you're so slay? What's wrong with having some eye candy to relieve my stress? Don't you dare tell me what I should or should not do with my life!" Her index finger pointed accusingly at me, almost quivering with seething anger.

A hushed silence descended upon the canteen filled with students – something much rarer than a blue moon. Everybody's eyes trailed to us while a gentle breeze blew through, causing our long wavy ponytails to sway gently as if we were shooting a dramatic scene in a movie. Unfortunately, we were not.

As my hands fell to my side, the blood rushed up to my face, causing it to turn an evident tomato red even though I was rather tan. Cognisant of all the stares and glares we were getting, Georgina snatched her bottle and left the canteen all in one smooth fluid motion. Ever so graceful even when she's upset, I thought bitterly to myself before following suit.

After finally catching up to her, I grabbed her hand to get her to stop. "Don't touch me!" she snapped at me while forcing her hand out of my grasp. She turned around and faced me with menacing eyes as if like a black hole ready to suck me into nothingness; a sight I had never seen before. Another one of many firsts with her, but one I wished I never had to experience.

For the first time, I was at a loss for words, unable to say anything to her. I felt so desperate and had no idea what to do to calm her down. She maintained her defensive posture with completely no hint of backing off, clearly not wanting to have anything to say or do with me.

"I- I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." was all I managed to muster. I could start to feel moistness building up bit by bit at my bottom eyelid.

"Just leave me alone" were the last words she said to me before turning around and leaving me standing all alone in the middle of the school's quadrangle. A cool draft blew past, almost as if wanting to envelope me in tight embrace.

Before I knew it, my vision was a blur and I was taking ragged breaths. The moisture had coalesced into rivulets and trickled down my cherry red cheeks with the help of earth's gravity. The sobbing soon became uncontrollable and broke out into a full-blown cry like a broken dam that could no longer hold back the flood of tears. A teacher who was nearby saw my sorry state. She rushed over to attend to both me and my shattered heart, but it was the epitome of flogging a dead horse.

The rest of the day passed by in a flash and soon I was back home in my own room, resting my left cheek on my crossed arms, doing exactly what I did a few hours ago. Probably worse now that I had the privacy I needed. Water patches left the writing paper that my arms were lying on in ruins - tattered and torn.

Just like me.

See.

Told you this was no love story.