One of Many Firsts

Chapter 2: It never rains but pours

The darkness enveloped the room as a lone door stood at the end of the empty hallway. Slowly, it began to creak open, allowing in a sliver of light that spilt into the room, casting eerie shadows upon the walls. The creaking sound echoed through the silent air like a chilling omen. A figure slowly emerged from the shadows, silhouetted against the faint light streaming in from behind. One could feel the terror in the air as it drew closer and closer to the doorway. The moment hung in the balance, as the figure paused for a moment, lips curling into a wicked smile while seemingly savouring the tension before finally stepping across the threshold into the room. The door shut quietly behind it, almost as if it had faded away into nothing, leaving the darkness and dread to reign supreme.

As soon as I felt the change in the atmosphere, one devoid of all life, a chill shot down my spine, causing the goosebumps to rise and hair on my neck to stand at speed of light. I instinctively woke up from my slumber, instantly alert and aware of my surroundings and current situation. The pitch-black darkness told me all that I needed to know – that I was in great deep trouble and that my life was at stake – and I was already in great deep trouble. The most fearsome force to be reckoned with had returned.

Mommy Dearest.

"Emberlynn dearie, why are the lights off?"

Because no one else is at home and so no one turned them on. Why else? I thought to myself as I dragged myself away from my desk gingerly, trying not to make too much noise. "I must have cried myself to sleep without knowing it," I muttered under my breath while staring at the blotched piece of paper with two distinct pools of water stains. I endeavoured to straighten my hair to hide evidence of me having bawled my eyes out and having homework undone. I quickly reached out and flicked the light switches on, put on my headphones then dived back to my seat and pretended to work on my unwritten composition. For a split second, I felt so proud of myself for being so graceful and swift with those actions.

Mother knocked lightly on my door before opening it. She peered into my room and saw me hard at work. "Emberlynn dearie, did you not hear me call out to you?" she repeated while giving me her usual smile – the cold, unfeeling one that always made me wonder which part of her was real.

I made every effort to put on the most naturally surprised look I possibly could muster, complete with the sweetest possible smile ever. I hope was as good at faking things as she was. "Oh hi mommy. Didn't know you were back. The noise cancelling function really does work," I said while pointing to the Bluetooth headset which was not even turned on.

My mother reciprocated with that insincere smile of hers while remarking, "Why are you still in your uniform? It's already past 7 pm and you look like you've just cried a river. Are you alright?"

I've just lost my best friend to a boy; and not to mention, one whom we agreed is a jerk. I've not started on my narrative writing homework that is due tomorrow. I've still not showered and probably smell like some rotting pile of food, and to top it off, my eyes are still sore, probably puffy from crying. Which part of me is fine?

"Yes, I'm ok Mommy," I tried to say as cheerfully as I could. However, I noticed that her eagle sharp eyes were already darting around, trying to see if anything was amiss. But then again, me being in my uniform at this time of the day was already a walking big red flag. I just hope I would be able to walk away from this one in one piece; mentally.

Her eyes frowned ever so slightly that you would definitely have missed it if you had blinked.

Not a good sign.

Mother Dearest's mouth soon arched into her signature smile and suggested, "Go take a shower. Feeling refreshed will do wonders for your concentration. Mommy knows best."

Shoot. She'll start snooping around, but I'm as helpless as a baby. No good counterproposal, I thought bitterly to myself while forcing a grin.

I stood up and left the room feeling defeated. My untied and disheveled hair that made me look like a wreck added insult to injury. She did not even bother to accord me the basic decency of leaving the room before searching all over my table. Of course, even my phone was not spared. Just as I was about to exit my room, I froze as I heard the familiar icy cold voice calling out, "Lee Wen Rui Emberlynn."

Shoot. Full name. Not a good sign.

She continued without any hint of emotion, "Allow me to remind you. This is the year you take your PSLE. That one examination that determines your future. You'd better not be distracted by anything else; whatever it or they might be. And it especially had better not be anything related to boys; filthy creatures that they are. Nothing else matters but your grades. Just to be crystal clear, I expect top grades from you and nothing less. I've invested far too much in you. Don't disgrace me."

As soon as she was done, she picked up the ruined piece of paper, and crushed it. "Else you'll end up like this piece of paper: worthless," she said, distant and unsympathetically, cutting the air with a knife. Just as she finished with those words, she threw the crunched-up paper at me, where it just fell to the ground lying motionless; just like me.

There we go. Finally showing her true colours, that witch. She would make Snow White's evil stepmother look like some cute harmless kitten. What am I to this old hag? Am I really her daughter or some grade making machine that is here to fulfil her ungranted wish? If she were so observant and noticed that I cried, would it hurt to ask about how I felt, or why was my day had gone south? Grades, grades, grades. It's always about grades. She might as well have called me that - Lee Wen Rui Grades. And what does she mean by invest? Am I some cryptocurrency or some blue-chip stock to her? Do I not deserve love and care? I thought with much rancour.

"Yes, mommy," I replied dryly, completely given up on hiding my disappointment and misery. I then made a beeline to the washroom without so much as glancing backwards.

As the cool water washed over me, I finally felt a moment of respite. It almost felt like I had been liberated. I savoured the moments of bliss as the water droplets pitter-pattered on my skin. It was so soothing and relaxing that I wished it would never end. I looked up, shifted myself and now allowed the water from the showerhead to cleanse my face. The water cascaded down from my head and slid effortlessly down my long hair which was now matted against my body.

My moment of reprieve did not last long. The comforting chilly water flowing gently from my face soon met with a warm trickle. Before long, the calm water flowing down was interrupted by slight quivering of the shoulders. The quivering soon built up to trembles. Tracing the source of the tremors would lead to my tightly clenched fists which shuddered non-stop. My face soon crumpled as if it was that piece of paper she had crushed, eyes shut so tight that a crowbar might snap trying to open them. Yet, miraculously, warm rivulets managed to squeeze their way out. My voice cracked while I whimpered out, "Why? Why me? First Georgina, now this. Why is life so unfair to me? What did I do to deserve this?" I hoped the splashing sound of water was enough to drown out my inconsolable sobs.

After what felt like an eternity, I was back in my room and the high-pitched whirring sound of my hair dryer was heard. Using it reminded me of her prattling on about the wonder features like ions and use of heat waves instead of hot air, and more importantly, the price tag - about how she had always been investing in me. I let out a heavy sigh and stowed the hair dryer away. "If only my worries could be so easily stowed away," I uttered.

I sat down once again and reattempted to work on my assignment. Just as I picked up my pen, I felt the table vibrate. I reached out and picked up my phone and saw an email notification. It was about our project work grouping. I opened the attached file and scrolled through it, looking for name, hoping that I would be paired with Georgina. "That'll give us the opportunity to talk. Then I can apologise to her," I thought hopefully to myself, finally feeling like maybe, just maybe, there was a light at the end of this jet-black tunnel.

Just as I finally found my name, the muscles in my jaws felt like they suddenly vanished into thin air, causing my jaw to free fall, leaving a gaping hole that could fit my fist. At almost the time, the same thing happened to my hands and they lost their strength, allowing the phone to drop onto the floor with a soft thud.

Written on the screen beside "Lee Wen Rui Emberlynn" was "Sim Xiang Jun Elias".

Shoot. Not a good sign.